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Old 08-22-2013, 10:06 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
21 posts, read 102,729 times
Reputation: 20

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Ok, I am looking for some constructive advice. Bible says there is wisdom in a multitude of counselors:
We just moved to a new downstairs apartment in June with our boys. No one has ever complained about our sons but, I am very self- conscious about my sons being annoying to other people. I told my neighbor that our sons are young and can be very active and loud at times. She said "ok, I have a grandson and he visits so you will hear him as well". Later, I acknowledged my children (possibly) being annoying but both times she downplayed it. So a few days ago, we received a letter from her saying that she has held on as long as she could and couldn't take the jumping and running anymore. She said she had never been through this before. She even said, I would hate to have to call the rental office about this. I apologized and notified the office of her complaint. The manager said that during the day, the children should be able to play. After 10 pm, quiet hours start. My husband and I have cracked down on the running and jumping, but sometimes, they are just being kids. I can't keep yelling at them every moment to walk, don't run/fall, "softer steps". The floor is carpeted but thin, son is hyper and has trouble sleeping, and they are boys. I am trying hard to be considerate and mindful. We are on eggshells and the lil one naturally walks hard. In the last 2 days she has stomped on the floor when the kids start to run or play. We are doing everything we can to keep them quiet but now I am driving my husband crazy who is saying, " let them play when it is during the day". I am driving myself crazy! How do I stop a 20 month old and a 3 1/2 year old from running around? The older one is really trying but it doesn't take much to hear his footsteps. It is very difficult to take them out everyday when I work. Plus, the fall/winter will be here. We can't always take them out if it is dark outside. Help?!
P.S. A house would be nice but that has to wait for some time.
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Old 08-22-2013, 10:09 PM
 
Location: where you sip the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of Utica
8,301 posts, read 12,213,327 times
Reputation: 8054
Thick carpets and mocassins.
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Old 08-23-2013, 03:09 AM
 
8,630 posts, read 19,056,617 times
Reputation: 11478
You don't need thick carpets or moccasins, you need your manger to explain to your neighbor that your children arent' doing anything wrong. Your children have a right to play in their home.

Are they screaming and yelling at the top of their lungs for hours at a time? Are they blasting music? Are they booming their war themed video games? Are they playing their electric guitar with the amp turned up? These are things she can ***** about, your children 'playing' in your unit, isn't something she can ***** about. Well, she can *****, but it won't get her anywhere. Sounds like she's ready for a 55 and older community. Why these people move to family complexes and then complain about kids is beyond me.

Cease communication with this lady other than "hello" and "good day"; if she keeps sending you notes, take them to the manager and ask the manger to talk to the neighbor. It's the manger's job to deal with issues like these, not yours. If she keeps banging on your ceiling, document it and tell the manager. Basically, ignore her and live in your unit as you have a right to do...your dh is right...let those kids play.
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Old 08-23-2013, 03:39 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
21 posts, read 102,729 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim in FL View Post

Cease communication with this lady other than "hello" and "good day"; if she keeps sending you notes, take them to the manager and ask the manger to talk to the neighbor. It's the manger's job to deal with issues like these, not yours. If she keeps banging on your ceiling, document it and tell the manager. Basically, ignore her and live in your unit as you have a right to do...your dh is right...let those kids play.
I will be talking to the manager today. She will have to mediate this or something. I can't live like this. We just moved here! I noticed that she has no carpet in her apartment. I read that if you feel vibrations from downstairs, you need a rug or carpet to dampen the noise. It is a older complex and has more to do with the structure. I really want to be at peace with my neighbor. But not at the expense of my family.
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Old 08-23-2013, 03:43 AM
 
71,507 posts, read 71,674,131 times
Reputation: 49084
we have them same problem since we bought one of those tempur-pedic mattresses, since my wife likes to drink wine in bed while i jump up and down...
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Old 08-23-2013, 04:32 AM
 
8,630 posts, read 19,056,617 times
Reputation: 11478
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetljc View Post
I will be talking to the manager today. She will have to mediate this or something. I can't live like this. We just moved here! I noticed that she has no carpet in her apartment. I read that if you feel vibrations from downstairs, you need a rug or carpet to dampen the noise. It is a older complex and has more to do with the structure. I really want to be at peace with my neighbor. But not at the expense of my family.

I think talking to the manager is a great idea. This lady needs to know that what's she's hearing it's daily living noise and while she finds it annoying, there isnt' anything you're doing wrong. Let your manager know that she's banging on your ceiling and it's disturbing you..and since she's doing it on purpose, its makes her in the wrong.

Please make sure you come back and update this thread.
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Old 08-23-2013, 04:51 AM
 
31 posts, read 45,543 times
Reputation: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by mathjak107 View Post
we have them same problem since we bought one of those tempur-pedic mattresses, since my wife likes to drink wine in bed while i jump up and down...
lol!
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Old 08-23-2013, 06:51 AM
 
583 posts, read 1,487,757 times
Reputation: 555
yes the lady can not touch you kids playing is living noise.. had a tenet who had a baby and a person would complain every day about the baby crying at feeding time when teething . the complainer was all like if we cant or wont do something about they are moving out what do we have to say about that. our reply was so is this your 30 day notice lol tell you what it the 15th we will cut you a brake and take a 15 day.
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Old 08-23-2013, 06:59 AM
 
Location: The GREAT State of TEXAS
292 posts, read 882,458 times
Reputation: 317
You live downstairs? Like ground floor and she is above you?

If so...how does she know the vibrations are actually coming from your apartment esp if on ground level?
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Old 08-23-2013, 08:54 AM
 
912 posts, read 1,249,374 times
Reputation: 2275
I am actually amazed that your upstairs neighbor is complaining about the noise from a downstairs apartment. If it were the reverse, I could understand, but I thought noise was more likely to be heard coming from above not below.

That being said -- you're not doing anything wrong unless your boys are being loud after 10pm or doing any of these things:

Quote:
Are they screaming and yelling at the top of their lungs for hours at a time? Are they blasting music? Are they booming their war themed video games? Are they playing their electric guitar with the amp turned up?
Kids are allowed to play in their house, and one of the inherent drawbacks of apartment life is that this woman (to a reasonable extent) just has to deal with the noise. Now, of course, this doesn't give permission for your kids to run screaming around at all hours of the day and night, but it doesn't sound like that's the case here. It sounds like your kids are being kids and you're not just letting them run wild.

Take a deep breath, relax, and live your life. Keep the manager informed and let them handle it. Depending on how long the woman has lived there, my guess is that you're not the first neighbor to have to deal with her wrath.
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