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As someone who has lived in the situation as the OP but on the receiving end, I can tell you toddler foot steps are the WORST sound you could possibly imagine for those below.
Worse than loud music, worse than car traffic, worse than adults walking.
It's like someone hammering on your door with their fists urgently trying to be let in everyday from morning to night....but on your ceiling from one end of the apartment to the next.
There is no option to "just ignore it" or "get use to it" unless you want a life of wearing headphones and never taking them off.
There is no "easy" solution for anyone in these situations. The only real solution is someone needs to move to a location better suited for their lifestyle.
Whether it be the parent or the people continuously disturbed by noise, someone needs to understand its a problem they won't fix unless someone relocates.
Carpet can only mask so much and in an old converted home you can forget about it....it won't mask anything.
I am sure the people with the complaints also have time and money invested, Its a moot point. It's also common sense that banging on a floor will cause vibrations and noise for those below. It's an old home, not a bomb shelter.
All it takes is a little forethought and consideration for those around you to understand.
Don't expect to go through life doing as you please with no regard for others and be treated as a king.
YOU are an excellent and thoughtful and reasonable person wish everyone thought like you.
I have a VERY active 6 year old. She runs alot, jumps, bounces, etc. In our old apartment it wasn't a problem because there was nobody below us. Now, the downstairs neighbor makes complaints continuously.
My question is...at what point does it become a fine line of kissing someone's a** who is never going to be happy no matter what you do?
Move out.
You're not in an apartment, you're in an old house with no insulation, and your neighbor downstairs has every right to complain because you let your child run amuck.
You should have gotten a downstairs apartment, and in the future, think about your neighbors and only live downstairs in an end unit.
I don't have kids or pets, and although I like kids and pets I can't deal with all that whimsy and (sometimes hyper) energy and noise. Almost 20 years ago I moved into a child-free, pet-free, smoke-free, very old, thin, rickety building with thick carpets and a single, quiet, child-free, pet-free neighbor in the apartment directly above me, as well as another quiet, single, child-free, pet-free neighbor in the apartment 2 floors above me. Our whole block of apartments was as quiet as it could possibly be (for many years) in a very old building with thin walls and very low ceilings, and yet there was still daily living noise that couldn't be avoided (showers, toilets, walking across the floor, etc.). It was reasonable and tolerable, though. For many years we also had very considerate, compassionate apartment managers who were really concerned that everyone was comfortable and not disturbed.
When the neighbor directly above me moved out early last year and this new, constantly noisy, neighbor moved in, suddenly there were no more carpets and no sound-proofing. People in the upstairs neighbor's apartment have occasionally been smoking cigarettes and pot, and the smell trickles down into my apartment. There have been loud birds chirping and dogs barking in the apartment while I am trying to work. There have been people standing by open windows, talking on the phone at midnight or 1:00 a.m., waking me and other neighbors up. I have also been awakened in the middle of the night by thunks on the neighbor's floor or the stomp of hard shoes more times than I can count (and yes, I use ear plugs as well as other things piled on top of my head to block out noise -- nothing helps).
And for 2 weeks earlier this year there was a family with a small, whimsical child staying in the noisy new upstairs neighbor's apartment, and that child constantly jumped up and down and bounced around, shaking the room and disturbing me while I slept or worked.
Was I supposed to suck it up because I should know that whimsical children make noise? I didn't sign on for that when I moved in here back in the '90s! (Thankfully, the child was only here for 2 weeks.) I have been here longer than the noisy tenant upstairs. Much longer. I have not had to deal with any pets or children or smoke or multiple occasions of being awakened by loud neighbors in the entire time I've been here until she/they moved in and the management changed. I am hard-pressed to find anyone who would not be upset and bothered in my situation. But because I have no money to move out and move in to a new place and because certain things the upstairs neighbor does are legally allowed (though very inconsiderate), I have no choice but to suffer through it. So she gets to live her life (right now she is hammering something and shaking the room, which she has been doing for the last 3 days) and I am immensely disrupted, when I have not been for almost 2 decades. My work and sleep are constantly affected. I don't "like to complain," so I stay quiet most of the time because I know the manager already asked her to take her shoes off as often as she could manage.
I don't know that anyone said or implied that the OP here is lying. I doubt she would have taken the time to start a thread and explain the problem if she were lying. The thing is that there are at least two sides to every story, and we are only hearing hers. We are not hearing from the other people involved -- other neighbors, the landlord, the downstairs neighbor, etc.
Children often times make more noise than other people do, just because they're active (and whimsical). There may be people in any given building -- who have lived there longer than the parents with the whimsical children have lived there -- who choose to not have kids because they cannot handle that whimsy and "reasonable" noise. So they should not be expected to suck it up and never complain when their lives have suddenly been disrupted by someone else's child. It's simply not fair.
The issue comes down to the fact that, yes, there are things that tenants are legallyrequired or allowed to do and things that tenants are legally not required or not allowed to do.
Beyond the legalities of it, there is also the issue of simply being a kind, courteous, considerate person. Many people will choose to be courteous and considerate, because they don't wish to be at war with a neighbor. Others will choose to take the discourteous, inconsiderate road, thinking that just because something is legally allowed they are going to continue to do it anyway, even if they know it is making someone else's life a living hell. I don't know about the rest of you, but even if I am legally allowed to do something, if I know that it is bothering another person I will do whatever I can to quiet down, make it more tolerable or stop it entirely. I am a courteous person (and apparently not whimsical)!
I don't have kids or pets, and although I like kids and pets I can't deal with all that whimsy and (sometimes hyper) energy and noise. Almost 20 years ago I moved into a child-free, pet-free, smoke-free, very old, thin, rickety building with thick carpets and a single, quiet, child-free, pet-free neighbor in the apartment directly above me, as well as another quiet, single, child-free, pet-free neighbor in the apartment 2 floors above me. Our whole block of apartments was as quiet as it could possibly be (for many years) in a very old building with thin walls and very low ceilings, and yet there was still daily living noise that couldn't be avoided (showers, toilets, walking across the floor, etc.). It was reasonable and tolerable, though. For many years we also had very considerate, compassionate apartment managers who were really concerned that everyone was comfortable and not disturbed.
)!
yes! everything what you said - you totally understand - thank you for being who you are - i would love to have you as my neighbor!
OP, you have some good advice around here. Ignore people telling you to move ('cause you know, everyone has money laying around to just move on a whim). If your neighbor confronts you again, tell her you are doing your best to limit the amount of noise she hears but that's all you can do then start ignoring her from then on because there's obviously no way of pleasing her.
Noise is part of apartment living. If you can't handle some noise during normal daytime hours, you shouldn't be living in an apartment. My neighbors are sometimes very loud and I have 4 of them that share walls with me. I understand the walls are thin and you don't see me pounding on my neighbor's wall at 9:30pm when I can hear their cell phone conversation or calling the cops on them. It's annoying but they have every right to talk on their cell phone when they want. Just as OP has every right to go about her daily life.
Now if OP's kid is actually jumping around, bouncing balls off walls, and doing all sorts of craziness, then yes, the neighbor has a right to be upset. But I'm assuming OP isn't lying and her kid isn't doing these things.
BTW, OP's kid isn't a toddler so that's irrelevant as far as her circumstances go.
OP, you have some good advice around here. Ignore people telling you to move ('cause you know, everyone has money laying around to just move on a whim). If your neighbor confronts you again, tell her you are doing your best to limit the amount of noise she hears but that's all you can do then start ignoring her from then on because there's obviously no way of pleasing her.
Noise is part of apartment living. If you can't handle some noise during normal daytime hours, you shouldn't be living in an apartment. My neighbors are sometimes very loud and I have 4 of them that share walls with me. I understand the walls are thin and you don't see me pounding on my neighbor's wall at 9:30pm when I can hear their cell phone conversation or calling the cops on them. It's annoying but they have every right to talk on their cell phone when they want. Just as OP has every right to go about her daily life.
Now if OP's kid is actually jumping around, bouncing balls off walls, and doing all sorts of craziness, then yes, the neighbor has a right to be upset. But I'm assuming OP isn't lying and her kid isn't doing these things.
BTW, OP's kid isn't a toddler so that's irrelevant as far as her circumstances go.
A converted home is nothing like an apartment unit expressly built to house tenants. They are not to the same standard and never will be, you are essentially living in a large home with only drywall and wood dividing you
People need to understand their are places you probably should not live if you have certain lifestyles, just as management needs to understand putting childless homebodies in the same area as people with daily routines that WILL disturb others isn't a good idea.
It's not a good situation for anyone involved and often just devolves in to legal mumbo jumbo to mask the human side of what everyone is dealing with until someone gets fed up enough to drop the ego and change their situations for the better.
Apartment living is not a good solution to every situation. There are things you are constantly going to have to put up and deal with living that close to others....it's something that at the end of the day you really just have to ask yourself "is living like this really worth all the hassle?"
Last edited by rego00123; 06-11-2014 at 12:19 AM..
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wish everyone thought like you.
