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Old 01-19-2017, 09:04 PM
 
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that disruptive kid who is autistic has rights but those rights are no more important than the rights of the person he is disrupting.
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Old 01-19-2017, 09:25 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,813 posts, read 32,484,481 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Whitedoves1 View Post
In my case I have an autistic daughter age 19 I've been residing on the first floor for nine years same thing complex.
I got a letter from the office indicating I'm altering the premises...I. wasn't altering anything I was adjusting what was already installed eight years ago due to the storm we had in Massachusetts a week ago 2017 .
My daughter is nonverbal she doesn't stim and she used to scream out loud a lot but doesn't do that anymore.
so some nosy neighbor had to go run to the office and I don't understand they already knew and we're fully aware that I had lattice installed eight years ago so this letter saying there was altering the premises without their consent and multiple reports without a prior authorization.
I don't understand my rights .
also my daughter uses a handicap bike in which there is no storage facility here at all I knew that from the beginning .
I'm well aware of that.
I liked my first floor but we cannot keep anything on our private patio.
so what we do on our patio shouldn't this be our personal patio to do as we please as long as it's enclosed and not bothering or in the way of any other tenant .
however I got doctor's note neurologist note.
I had to go through a whole process wait wait wait my daughter wanted her bike .
it was sitting in the middle of my living room if you can picture a small adult trike bike.
so three months go by.... I got authorization that I could store it underneath the stairwell.
which I put it there and locked it up and someone came and stole her bike .
The bike was 500.00$ and had to explain to an autistic mind that mommy cannot afford to replace your bike.
I cannot afford insurance either.
for that matter .
so they're not liable for hallway thefts.
then I received as a gift a Honda Ruckus so my daughter can used and go for a ride with me to the beach that she loves the water.
because we have a pool here in which it's very clicky and I keep to myself...but nosy not nice people gossip .
and I cannot afford to move because I can never find another place with everything all included for 1900 a month.
so it's really difficult for us and also for the change with autism... as well .
so scooter was stolen a week later someone vandalized my car Stole 2 brand new rims and tires of my 2015 Toyota Camry.
with wheel locks on them.
they said they're not liable.
then the following week I have dents all over my car hood.
it doesn't end .
I don't understand who's out to get me I'm the most quiet tenant I think that lives here as well as my daughter who is autistic doesn't speak .
what should I do .
I have doctors notes and there's no emergency exit here in this three-decker complex so I requested in my case of emergency that I have a gate installed.
my daughter is nonverbal.
she doesn't stim.
I don't understand the my rights .
You lost me in the middle somewhere, but you could ask for a reasonable accommodation to keep the bike on the back porch. A reasonable accommodation is basically asking that the landlord allow you to break/bend a rule, because it's needed for you to be able to live comfortably in your unit, in spite of a disability.

So, you could try asking for a reasonable accommodation to keep the bike on the patio based on your daughter's need for it. Might not fly, but you could try. You need to get a doctor's note saying it's necessary for your daughter's well-being, etc.

As far as getting a new bike, ask your social worker. I don't remember if you put what state you're in, but in CA you'd see Alta California Regional Center, for example, for help getting all of the services available for your daughter. Anyway, start by asking your social worker if there would be money to buy her a new bike. If not there, then start trying the charities, like St. Vincent de Paul, or Salvation Army, etc.
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Old 01-20-2017, 03:02 PM
eok
 
6,684 posts, read 4,247,748 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eok View Post
Bigoted hatred of children with disabilities is on the increase. What can be done about it?
People have been questioning this. As one of many examples: "Don't baby him...I hope you get kicked out".

That kind of attitude, expressed in this thread, is caused by bigotry. And it's a very common attitude, and seems to be getting more common. Trump himself showed his disrespect for people with disabilities, on national TV. Some disabilities are less tolerated than others. Some are blamed on the victims, and cause more and more disrespect of those victims. Americans tend to not be very intelligent, and tend to blame victims for all disabilities whose symptoms are not immediately clearly visible other than as behavior problems. If a disability makes a child misbehave, a lot of people blame the child and the parents, and are unwilling to make any allowances for the disability. That's bigotry.
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Old 01-20-2017, 10:37 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,813 posts, read 32,484,481 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eok View Post
People have been questioning this. As one of many examples: "Don't baby him...I hope you get kicked out".

That kind of attitude, expressed in this thread, is caused by bigotry. And it's a very common attitude, and seems to be getting more common. Trump himself showed his disrespect for people with disabilities, on national TV. Some disabilities are less tolerated than others. Some are blamed on the victims, and cause more and more disrespect of those victims. Americans tend to not be very intelligent, and tend to blame victims for all disabilities whose symptoms are not immediately clearly visible other than as behavior problems. If a disability makes a child misbehave, a lot of people blame the child and the parents, and are unwilling to make any allowances for the disability. That's bigotry.
The thing is, "equal" rights does not mean "extra" rights. A disabled person has the right to equal treatment, not special treatment. The only exception is a "reasonable" accommodation. But, the accommodation must be reasonable. And, it's not reasonable to expect neighbors to put up with screaming and slamming, etc., that does not allow them to live in peace in their own homes.

People can be sympathetic, and yet not be required to endure unreasonable noise. This is not bigotry.
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Old 01-21-2017, 10:07 AM
 
Location: North Idaho
32,634 posts, read 47,986,069 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eok View Post
.....That kind of attitude, expressed in this thread, is caused by bigotry..........
Not really. It is caused by a general dislike of unnecessary noise. Endless loud noise in an adjoining apartment is very stressful. It has nothing to do with your child's disability. Your kid, your responsibility and you are going to be disappointed if you think the rest of the world is going to put up with a lot of inconvenience while they help you care for your child.
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Old 01-22-2017, 08:47 PM
eok
 
6,684 posts, read 4,247,748 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oregonwoodsmoke View Post
Not really. It is caused by a general dislike of unnecessary noise. Endless loud noise in an adjoining apartment is very stressful. It has nothing to do with your child's disability. Your kid, your responsibility and you are going to be disappointed if you think the rest of the world is going to put up with a lot of inconvenience while they help you care for your child.
How loud is it? I don't get the impression it's all that unusual. Apartments tend to have noise problems, but that doesn't mean people have to tiptoe to avoid bothering their neighbors. People who are bothered by noise shouldn't live in that kind of apartment. An autistic child stimming is not enough noise to reasonably bother people. They're usually bothered by the existence of the autistic child. The stimming noise is unusual, but not that loud. When bigots object to the noise, it's not because of how loud it is, but because it's unusual and seems to them to be unnecessary. What they really want the parent to do is tie the child up to prevent stimming, so they don't have to listen to any unusual noise, even if they tolerate louder noises that come from expected sources.

Bigotry is often caused by a desire to not be associated with the victims of the bigotry. If the person has guests some days, and has to explain where the unusual noise comes from, it gives the bigot the impression people might shun them, from associating them with such disabilities. A typical bigot has an instinct to avoid disabled people, or other minorities they're bigoted against, because of a visceral feeling that they can somehow get contaminated by them or something.

The words "don't baby him" blame the parent for the disability. The implication is that if only the parent were more competent, the disability wouldn't be a problem. That's another form of bigotry. The bigot has no idea what the parent goes through, and no idea if "babying him" has anything whatsoever to do with the problem. Bigots tend to jump to such conclusions, because they aren't very good at thinking such things through.

If you want an apartment with less noise, try finding one that doesn't allow children. That can make a very big difference. Can't find one? Is it possibly because bigotry against children is not allowed? Like someday bigotry against disabled children won't be allowed either?

Hopefully someday apartment building builders will be motivated to make them more soundproof. Until then, noise comes with the territory.

Last edited by eok; 01-22-2017 at 09:11 PM..
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Old 01-22-2017, 09:18 PM
eok
 
6,684 posts, read 4,247,748 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
And, it's not reasonable to expect neighbors to put up with screaming and slamming, etc.
Screaming and slamming are your problems, not theirs. They exist in your imagination only. Nobody mentioned screaming in this thread till you did. The only mention of slamming was that the bigot was doing it, not the disabled person.
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Old 01-23-2017, 08:30 AM
 
4,314 posts, read 3,993,683 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Night_Phoenix View Post
Apologies for long post. Just want to give accurate details.


My husband and I have a 10 year old Autistic son. We have lived at our current apartment complex since our son was 5 months old. We currently reside in a second story apartment, since 2013. We used to reside on first floor, but my adult daughter moved in and we needed more room.
Earlier, this year, a new downstairs neighbour moved in below us. In early May, this year, the man living below us, came banging on our door, asking with a mad attitude, if we thought we could keep it down. I remained calm, apologising, then explaining that our son is Autistic, and cannot help or control the need to move the way he does. (Called stimming). He just looked at me with hate on his face, then stopped off. Afterward, I immediately called the management office, leaving a message about what happened.
I never received a reply, but then, in mid May, a lease violation was put into our doorway, for noise complaint, requiring us to see manager within 24 hours. Also, the notice was delivered on a Friday, requiring meeting within 24 hours, yet management office is closed on weekends! To continue, I immediately pulled my son's record of diagnoses (multiple diagnoses, including Autism), and went to the office with husband and son. Now, keep in mind that we've lived here since 2005, they've witnessed his growth, and had been informed of my son's diagnosis in 2008, when we informed them about him receiving SSI (change of income). Still, I again provided proof of son's diagnosis.
I asked what we are supposed to do, because he cannot help how he is. We explained that he's in bed at 9 pm, so neighbours are lying about hearing him all night. Also explained that redirection doesn't work, as he can't understand very well. Manager said she and assistant manager will discuss options, but also said that there's no grounds for complaint for noise occurring during business hours, up to 10 pm. (Local noise laws)
That was it. No mention of whether violation would be rescinded or not. No other discussion at all, since that meeting.
Fast forward to this past Monday evening. Again, neighbour came banging on our door, terrifying our child, as well. Again, complaining with rude attitude about my son. Keep in mind, my son stims multiple times a day, yet he hadn't been complaining since the original time he came up. I find that odd.
Once, again, I remained calm, reminding him about my son, and telling him that we spoke with managers already.
Again, he stomped off. Now we worry about another notice, and whether we will be evicted or not have lease renewal. Anyone have advice or input? Thank you.

Key points:
We've never had complaints before this man, even from previous downstairs neighbour.
We've lived here nearly ten years, managers knew of my son's disability.

Our son stims by walking or jogging back and forth, and spinning.


(last sentence )


You did have a ground floor apartment.


You should not have given it up to accommodate your 19 year old adult daughter moving back in.
Evidently, you did not make your autistic son your priority at the time of your decision but now you want the guy below to ?
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Old 01-23-2017, 08:53 AM
 
Location: Southeast TN
666 posts, read 642,426 times
Reputation: 2251
Quote:
Originally Posted by eok View Post
How loud is it? I don't get the impression it's all that unusual. Apartments tend to have noise problems, but that doesn't mean people have to tiptoe to avoid bothering their neighbors. People who are bothered by noise shouldn't live in that kind of apartment.
Nope, you have it backwards here. Anyone who makes loud, prolonged, uncontrollable noise shouldn't live in any kind of apartment. The fact that the noise is coming from a child does not suddenly change that fact. You can post as many long lectures about what you perceive as "bigotry" as you want. Still doesn't change this fact.
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Old 01-23-2017, 08:58 AM
 
4,314 posts, read 3,993,683 times
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an autistic kid disturbing his neighbors does not belong in an apartment complex anymore than an autistic kid disturbing his classmates belongs in a " mainstream classroom" at school.


The problem is the parents who believe everyone should have to tolerate the disturbance.
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