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I'm really confused by a simple situation with my cousin and would love some 3rd party opinions or suggestions here.
We live in a 3 bedroom, 3 roommate apartment. I live in the biggest room, a third roommate lives in the next largest, and my cousin lives in the smallest (and cheapest) room. I manage collecting and paying the rent, and have lived here for 3 years in the largest and most expensive room. A month ago, the third roommate had to leave the lease early, so both of us arranged somebody to sublet his room. I also arranged for a good friend of mine to takeover that room starting in September for the new lease.
The departing roommate and I agreed on the room sublet and new leaser (my friend) for September. Recently, my cousin spoke up and said he wanted to move into the room in question. I told him this was not possible, because everything had already been arranged.
Now he is causing an uproar, getting his parents involved, and even his father is leaving unsavory comments on my Facebook photos of me going bowling with friends.. Saying "You're going down the wrong path". Like, seriously, because of a group photo while bowling?
Honestly, I don't know if I should feel in the wrong here. He is a bit of a recluse (except with a select few of his friends), always avoiding conversation with everybody in the apartment, specifically me for some reason. He is not the best roommate. I always need to clean up after him in the bathroom and kitchen... I never made any comments about it because he is family, and is also a relatively frail guy who usually goes to complain to his mother and father if he doesn't get his way. He's the guy who snapchats all the time, posting pictures of his food, but not actually being a normal social person. When I have friends over, he avoids them. When he leaves for pride weekend in NY, he tells nobody. He'll only speak to me if a girl is around, he is gay and has an affinity for speaking with women but not ME for some reason. Massage a woman's feet? Sure. Talk to me about his internship, or my job interviews, or ANYTHING.. No.
Am I being unreasonable? I don't get it. I know I probably should have discussed the new roommate for September with my cousin, but honestly he does his best to avoid me and makes me feel like a turd. I remember one morning I was dressed to the bridges for an engineering interview and also capstone presentations, and he literally said NOTHING to me as he walked by. We JUST starting talking about the room situation, but he left for July 4th weekend without even giving me July's rent, or letting me know he was leaving for the weekend.
Some people tell me he's totally in the right because he's currently on the lease and the new person entering is not. Others are telling me to let him know I don't like living with him, so too bad so sad he's not getting the room. Do you guys have any insight on this situation?
tl;dr: Cousin wants to takeover a bigger room in the house, but it was already promised to another person by me and the current tenant of the room. Cousin is non-communicative to me, but is telling his parents all about it.
Is the cousin going to pay the "higher" rent if he moves to the bigger room? If there isn't that much difference between bedroom #2 and #3, perhaps new roommate wouldn't mind taking the smaller room if it's cheaper.
Sounds you need to stop expecting him to treat you like a family member (i.e., complimenting your job interview attire) and just accept he's a kind of socially inept nerd that you happen to live with.
You really shoud have included him in discussions of plans for the room from the beginning.
Ask him IF he also knows the bigger room is More Expensive. IF he agrees to pay the price In Writing. Let him have it. Tell him he needs to change rooms within 3 DAYS! & Clean the old room. Not cause hes family but because he has been there longer than the New Tenant. Ask the person that see But has yet to move in IF they are interested in renting the smaller room at the lower price. IF not then advertise for a new roomie.
The best way to have handled this would be to have offered the room to him first.
Does the new tenant have a signed agreement already? If so, it is too late to change, and I will point out that the cousin must have known that the room was coming vacant and yet he said nothing?
You might ask the new tenant if they would prefer the smaller cheaper room. If not, you have already made arrangements with them and your cousin is out of luck. Tell him he should have spoken up sooner and it is too late now.
Family drama! Consider getting your own place for the future.
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