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I have to say when it rains, it pours...
I'm dealing with unemployment and have a lot of stress financially and with our son (debating whether he should be moved up to a new grade or not). My husband works nights and generally sleeps in till about 10 am.
Well, I have posted about our guitar hero/no school going neighbor above us before. Last week my husband finally complained to the management about his noise very early in the am (7 am) and late at night 10, 11...pm..
I have no idea whether they spoke with them or not but now the kid has taken to 'having his friends over' instead of playing music or singing. His bedroom is right above mine. So now several nights a week up to 1 or later he has his stomping buddies (yes, they purposely stomp and drop things) over to talk really loud and basically just make noise). I realize the walls and floors are paper thin and this has happened 2 times already (once Friday, once on a Saturday night). I tried to be tolerant because he's a teen and his mom was out of town so I guess he was the 'party house.'
Last night was not the weekend...it was Thursday..I started trying to go to bed at 11 after watching a movie. I have to get up at 6 am. Well, some of his buds were here, then left @10:30. I figured good...okay...some came back a few minutes later and it was STOMP, bang, stomp...quiet a few minutes then back again with the loud talking, coughing, laughing...I kept trying to be calm and drift off but finally (nearly 12) I went to sleep on the sofa.
By this point I figuring out how little sleep I will get and how I will be woken up when my husband comes in and sees me on the couch.
He gets home@2 and says, "Why are you on the couch?" I tell him and he says I am calling and SPEAKING to someone tomorrow. (in management).
I feel like we have been patient long enough. Now that little jerky kid is a sleep upstairs (one of his buddies left at 6:30 am after another JERK beeped his horn and picked him up). If my husband wasn't asleep I'd be screaming...
It's so damn frustrating renting. I have other REAL issues and need my sleep. I am not living below the party house all summer.
PS I think his mother was home but I guess she's just given up on him as he is a drop out who does whatever he wants anyhow.
How about knocking on his door and telling him to be quiet. You can bribe him with porn or something, that'll keep him from stomping. But the lease must have it written somewhere that he can't make noise like that. Mine says no loud noise between 11pm and morning time.. Maybe u can call the cops for the LL letting him violate the lease, that'll make the landlord and parents straighten him out.
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Well, I have posted about our guitar hero/no school going neighbor above us before.
When you first started posting about the problems you were having with this young man some time ago I suggested you talk to his mother but you said you didn't consider this an option.
When things escalated, you said (as I recall) that the boy was polite to you when you happened to see him outside and I suggested yet again that you follow up on that, go out of your way to befriend him, invite him in and tell him how his guitar-playing was bothering you and yet again you sloughed that off as a "no option" for several reasons which, in all honesty, didn't really make much sense to me.
I'm sorry that the situation has escalated even more and I can well understand your angst, but there is still time to approach the problem from an ameliorative angle. I don't see that inviting the mother and her son into your home for a calm peace-keeping meeting could possibly hurt. Obviously you haven't had much success doing what you've been doing, so why not look into an alternative?
Trust me that I really do speak from experience! Good luck!
I tell you from experience - there is no way for you to win this. The more you complain, the worse they will get. They will start lodging retaliatory complaints about you. It will just go round and round and everyone's stress levels will skyrocket. I know it's not what you want to hear, but the best course of action is to disengage.
Either learn to ignore it and wait them out and you'll be free of them when they move, or take your quality of life into your own hands and move your family. Try to get the top floor for yourself. I personally HATE hearing people walking over my head (and that quirk of mine makes me way too sensitive to just normal noises of living overhead) so I always pay more for that top floor unit.
That said, it's quite possible that the kid and his friends and just doing what kids do and aren't actually trying to annoy you. You've become very sensitized to sounds from his room, and you might be assigning intent to them that isn't really there. Then again, maybe they are. At any rate, it will be a lot easier to live with it if you try to assume the best about their intentions instead of the worst.
It's hard to complain about people talking or laughing or coughing. That's really just living. It's not really his fault that the walls and floors transmit sound between units so well. He did stop playing the guitar, right? A good pair of earplugs should be able to muffle the sounds of talking and laughing enough for you to sleep. Best of luck.
I tell you from experience - there is no way for you to win this. The more you complain, the worse they will get. They will start lodging retaliatory complaints about you. It will just go round and round and everyone's stress levels will skyrocket. I know it's not what you want to hear, but the best course of action is to disengage.
Either learn to ignore it and wait them out and you'll be free of them when they move, or take your quality of life into your own hands and move your family. Try to get the top floor for yourself. I personally HATE hearing people walking over my head (and that quirk of mine makes me way too sensitive to just normal noises of living overhead) so I always pay more for that top floor unit.
That said, it's quite possible that the kid and his friends and just doing what kids do and aren't actually trying to annoy you. You've become very sensitized to sounds from his room, and you might be assigning intent to them that isn't really there. Then again, maybe they are. At any rate, it will be a lot easier to live with it if you try to assume the best about their intentions instead of the worst.
It's hard to complain about people talking or laughing or coughing. That's really just living. It's not really his fault that the walls and floors transmit sound between units so well. He did stop playing the guitar, right? A good pair of earplugs should be able to muffle the sounds of talking and laughing enough for you to sleep. Best of luck.
I agree with you but the history of this problem (which is in another long thread) contained suggestions such as yours which were basically ignored by the OP as being meritless. If you check out the previous long thread it will provide you with more insight. Cheers!
I'll tell you what, I really just want a quiet life but it is eluding me. I believe we have been patient with this young man. Since January when all appearances of him actually attending school have ended, my husband has accommodated being woken up EVERY morning at 7 am after having only a few hours sleep.
Why should I feel like a bad guy when we cough up rent every month and he has to go sleep on the sofa to get a little rest?
It's very easy to say 'we should approach them and sort it out' but I do not feel comfortable doing that. The mother is home and knows the rules of the complex. When she goes out, he abuses the rules and is loud again till the wee hours. The first 2 times it was a weekend so I blew it off and went to bed best I could.
Last night was Thursday. My child has to go to school. Should HE wear ear plugs, too?
Now I have to spend my nights on the sofa because this guy (who doesn't work or go to school) wants to hang with his posse till 1 am?
I know a lot of people have problems with their neighbors and up till this point we have been reasonable.
I don't expect anyone to stop his or her life but 'common consideration' goes a long way. Playing the guitar at 1 pm is normal. Having friends over till 11 pm (school nights) is normal. Later on the weekends is normal. But during the week, no, it's not...
I appreciate the advice but until you have been constantly sleep deprived (on top of other issues) or lived with someone who is you have no clue what this is like.
At my last apartment I was able to speak with the lady below us and we sorted out the issues of noise (from both sides). Here, well, no, I cannot speak with the mother because she knows FULL well that her son is in violation of the lease. He does what he wants (note the not going to school or work issue)..She has taken now to disappearing on weekends, leaving us with 'her problem.'
I agree this will only end when we move out...it's too bad that most rentals turn out this way simply because someone cannot follow the rules.
Sorry if this whole thread is just one big rant...I basically wrote it to get all the stress off my chest...
That is unfortunate, it does happen in apartment life. I've worked in the apartment industry and live in one as well. Some of these apartments are thrown together so poorly, that any noise level feels almost like your sharing your own space. Homes that have been subdivided into apartments are even worse. I'm living in a building with heavy duty fire walls and flooring, so I'm lucky there.
I would never recommend approaching a neighbor in apartment living about noise, that is an issue for management to handle. There is such a thing as disturbing the peace when the noise level is keeping you awake nights. I'm wondering what your management company has done to remedy the situation??
I would reccomend you move if you can ,and if not then I am afraid you will have to put up with it for however long you have too and then see about moving it will not get any better .I am sorry to say that alot of parents are at a loss as to what to do with kids like this . This mom might be overwhelmed as to what to do with him . I wish you luck dear .
GypsySoul22, I've been in your shoes and it's no fun. In my case, I shared a common wall with the noise makers. They'd clump loudly up the stairs right outside my window, they'd talk loudly on their cell phones right outside my door on the shared balcony, and they'd yell at each other at all hours of the day and night. I put up with this for almost three years. Complain to management? The father in this family was the manager! Complain to the owner? Sure... My apartment was under rent control, and I was paying 25% below market rate. The owner wouldn't lift a finger to help; he was hoping I'd move!
In the end, I did just that. I moved only a mile away, but it's like a different world! Even though I'm living in a lower unit for the first time in my life, it's quiet here! I can hear the tenant above me walking around a little, but that's it. The downside? I'm paying $350 more per month in rent, which really hurts. In the end, though, I chose my sanity over my financial health. I know what it's like to be sleep-deprived. It's sheer Hell, and because you don't have any control over it (except to move, which isn't an option for you right now), it's even worse.
I hope your finances will improve, so you can buy something and get out of there. It's a shame people aren't more considerate of others, but apparently we live in a society of "me, me, me" these days!
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