I think my roommate intends on using me for his benefit (bill, dog)

[mongoslade223]

Originally Posted by VegasGrace

Remember, what you do at the beginning of any relationship you have to continue doing- so you have
1- allowed the roommate to break terms/conditions of the agreement
2- you agreed to care for his pet

What were you thinking! No good deed goes unpunished.

Since you have allowed the breaking of the term/condition then you have consented- so you can't complain anymore, you've agreed.
2nd- next time he wants you to pet sit- say, "Gosh, I'm gonna be away for a while and won't be able to give Fido the attention he needs"
Keep saying that- not his business where you are going or why you are not going to be able to pet sit.

Good luck!

The bolded is what folks need to remember about any kind of relationship.
Never start what you can't finish.

[kelly237]

He is assuming and the solution is simple.

Tell him you can't ,you may have out of town plans ,
sorry...

I had a neighbor that always did the same thing.
The problem was we liked to take spontaneous
trips , like a 2 day trip to the beach if the weather was nice.
I had to just tell her we had some possible plans , sorry.

[no kudzu]

There is no such thing as "watching " a dog--unless it only means letting the animal in and out to the fenced in yard a few times. If you have to walk it that means several times a day and picking up after it.
Call pet sitting services and boarding places. Find out how much it would cost to take care of the dog and next time he asks whip this info out and say "I'll do it for $XX, that is the going rate" or say "I'm not interested, you will have to make other arrangements."
Once you let someone take advantage of you it is hard to break the cycle as they think they are entitled.
And for anybody to call you selfish is unreal. It's not your dog and not your responsibility and it is a major responsibility.

[wigirl920]

mcb, you said in your original post: "I think he wants me to watch his dog for FREE." Has he actually asked you to watch the dog again? If not, try not to get too wound up about it for the time being. If or when he does actually ask you again, be firm yet polite and turn him down. Personally, I think the "I have other plans" excuse is the route to go because it could help avoid conflict; after all, you still have to live with the guy. If he asks you again, then get a little more blunt.

Good luck!

[mcb1025]

Originally Posted by wigirl920

mcb, you said in your original post: "I think he wants me to watch his dog for FREE." Has he actually asked you to watch the dog again? If not, try not to get too wound up about it for the time being. If or when he does actually ask you again, be firm yet polite and turn him down. Personally, I think the "I have other plans" excuse is the route to go because it could help avoid conflict; after all, you still have to live with the guy. If he asks you again, then get a little more blunt.

Good luck!

Yes, he is going out of town at the end of the month and he hinted at me watching his dog again in an ever so subtle manner. The exchange went something like this, "So I guess my company's going to want me to fly out to headquarters again at the end of the month. You enjoyed watching my dog last time, right? You guys got some quality bonding time. So, you won't mind watching him for me again, right?"

The way he talks to me about his dog is as if he's doing me a great service by giving me free quality bonding time with his dog. It's laughable, to say the least.

[mongoslade223]

Holy smokes! This guy talks to you like your his maid! There's another word I want to use that starts with a b, but I'm trying to be nice. For cripe's sake grow yourself a spine!

[mcb1025]

Originally Posted by mongoslade223

Holy smokes! This guy talks to you like your his maid! There's another word I want to use that starts with a b, but I'm trying to be nice. For cripe's sake grow yourself a spine!

Hey now, how he talks to me has little reflection on my overall attitude and/or willingness to do his dirty work. Like I said, I'm not pleased with this situation and in no way have I succumbed/agreed to his request. I was simply venting my frustrations. As a matter of fact, I don't plan on watching his dog at the end of the month, because it is simply not convenient for me.

Bottom line, I'm guessing he talks to everybody like this (in fact, I've heard from some of our mutual co-workers that he talks to them in the same manner). Just because his words are directed towards you doesn't mean you're his b****. Succumbing to his every demand would qualify you as his b****.

[cleasach]

Originally Posted by mcb1025

"So I guess my company's going to want me to fly out to headquarters again at the end of the month. You enjoyed watching my dog last time, right? You guys got some quality bonding time. So, you won't mind watching him for me again, right?"

And you replied?

People can only take advantage of you if you let them.

[mongoslade223]

Originally Posted by mcb1025

Hey now, how he talks to me has little reflection on my overall attitude and/or willingness to do his dirty work. Like I said, I'm not pleased with this situation and in no way have I succumbed/agreed to his request. I was simply venting my frustrations. As a matter of fact, I don't plan on watching his dog at the end of the month, because it is simply not convenient for me.

Bottom line, I'm guessing he talks to everybody like this (in fact, I've heard from some of our mutual co-workers that he talks to them in the same manner). Just because his words are directed towards you doesn't mean you're his b****. Succumbing to his every demand would qualify you as his b****.

I'm just sayin'.........If this guy is always like this, how could you not see this from the beginning? I'm not trying to attack you, just light a fire under your you know what! I just hope that you learn to become a better judge of character, that's all. You let him get away with (1)stiffing you on your original arraignment and (2)roping you into taking care of his pet(!)

I wish the best for you but these kind of situations are avoided by being assertive from the beginning. I say this so that anyone else reading this, who is headed for a similar situation will, squash it before it starts.

[mcb1025]

Originally Posted by mongoslade223

I'm just sayin'.........If this guy is always like this, how could you not see this from the beginning? I'm not trying to attack you, just light a fire under your you know what! I just hope that you learn to become a better judge of character, that's all. You let him get away with (1)stiffing you on your original arraignment and (2)roping you into taking care of his pet(!)

I wish the best for you but these kind of situations are avoided by being assertive from the beginning. I say this so that anyone else reading this, who is headed for a similar situation will, squash it before it starts.

Oh trust me, I am fed up with his shenanigans and I do not plan to be his servant. As far as knowing about this before, I didn't hear about his personality flaws until after we moved in together. As far as stiffing me on our original agreement, what else can I do? Break his legs haha? This isn't an episode of the Sopranos. I purchased the internet and he does not have access to it. That's about the best I can do. When it comes to watching his dog, all I have to say is no.