apartment vs. house dwellers

[nativeDallasite]

Originally Posted by christina0001

She sounds jealous. Having said that, you are probably excited about your recent home purchase and plans for improvements, and you might be talking about it a lot. Brides talk about their wedding plans too much at times...pregnant people talk too much about their pregnancy sometimes...new parents talk about their new baby too much sometimes. It's normal. A good friend will just deal with it, or just avoid you until you are a bit past the excitement.

I agree. People who are in the middle of buying a house can have a one-track mind...it's nothing but 'house this' and 'house that'. That goes for people selling a house too, even if they're not buying another one.

I think the OP's friend does have a touch of the green-eyed monster. I think the OP should give the friend another chance, and stop talking about the house so much because the friend may just be jealous and insecure, and feel like they're having their face rubbed in the fact that they're not as "grown-up" as the OP is. If the friend carries on being a jerk, then maybe consider ending the friendship.

I would not end a 10-year friendship over a blog comment.

[okaydorothy]

I had something like that happen to me when I moved from a small 1200 sq ft house to a house that was double in size.
I had three other couples come over with their children for a house warming dinner. Well she was 30 mins late, stayed for 2 hours and then left suddenly.

Two days later she called me berating me and saying that I ahd called her children names. I didnt and would never do that. the other couples said I didnt say it either.

That was 3 years ago and I still get bothered by it. The reason ; she is an immigrant too and comes from the same place I do. She lives in a townhouse community ; which there is nothing wrong with, but obviously she has a chip about it. I ahve always worked, she didnt. Etc etc.

I am the type of person who will always compliment someone for doing good and say ; good for you.

Obviously she is not a friend anymore.
d

[sponger42]

If it is just simple jealousy, just track the worth of your house in the falling market and email her the results. When the house is worth 10-20% less next year, complain about how you'd wished you had done the smart thing and kept renting an apartment. She'll probably brighten right up.

Then again, is this the sort of friend you really want to bother keeping?

[mommabear2]

Originally Posted by luckyduck

Just to preface this, I just bought a house. I've been living in an apartment for many years, but I've lived in a house before immigrating here.

My friend of over 10 years has stopped speaking to me. We usually speak on AIM and I haven't seen her online for weeks. So I e-mailed her and asked her what's up and she tells me that she's sorry I feel neglected, but that not everything is about my house. I told her that it wasn't all about my house, because I still had my kids, husband, and school to worry about. We sort of patched things up and started to talk on AIM again.

Lately, I've been talking about replacing the carpets with wood flooring in the house. On AIM, my friend talks on and on about her stuff, then when we get to my stuff about the house, she suddenly has to go. She has also expressed annoyance, by telling me that my decision about the wood is not a big deal, because I've told her I refuse to do laminate.

Then right after we chatted, she posted this on her blog:

"people think they are "great"

it's funny how some people feel the constant need to tell others how "Great" they are or "great" their life is. these people are only fooling themselves, cause we all know they are not happy or great by any means.

and another thing..

i can't stand when people have "plans" for themselves. these people and their bull**** plans.. i have never seen any of them actual stay on their bull**** course that they "planned" for themselves. it's another way of making it seem like they are "great" and have things going on in their lives, which they also think makes them somebody special.

and to that i say, "get a ****ing life and get off your imaginary highhorse cause you're actaully lower than the people you tell you're great to."

On another note, my friend has lived in an apartment all her life. At first, she was happy for me during the process of looking for a house. But when the closing approached, that's when she gave me the cold shoulder. Also, when she told me that it wasn't all about my house, I was puzzled. Why would a friend say that to another friend?

I'm sure she was talking about me because I do have a tendency to gloat when good things happen in my life-- like when my kids do good or funny things, or when I get good grades in school. She also included stuff we have talked about (I like to make long-term plans so I can make a game plan, and I've also said I like to keep busy to "give my life some life.")

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent here. I would appreciate any thoughts, and would like to ask if anyone has ever had this happen to them-- when friends turned their backs on them once they transitioned from renting an apartment to owning a house...

Everyone but this friend has been supportive during my process of house buying. So, suffice it to say, I am never speaking to this "friend" again...

She's jealous. Plain and simple. Too jealous to be a friend. This is an exciting time for you - congrats on your new home!!! She should support you not cut you down. Kick her to the curb.

[brittlestar08]

its so sadthat you would let your freindship go over this... even if she's jelouse. Instead you should bring hr into your home. Make her a part of your projects. let her be a decision maker or at least let her make suggestions. Let h be a part of our excitment.

On the flip side. Its kind of funny how people act after renovating a home or buying one. some but not all shove it in peoples faces in a way that is not necessary.

yes she sounds jelouse... so what? is that a reasone to throw out a freindship? who cares about a stupid blog... maybe she was not talking about you at all an your sensitive?

stop analizing and just find a way to be freinds. If your own mother likes this person that I'm sertain there is something special abou tthis person... NO?

just another perspective that no one has thought of. so many people are willing to jump to conclusions. take it easy!

[Bob The Builder]

Congrats on your new home!

She is envious. It sounds like you did nothing to make your friend comfortable either.

You BOTH have some part of the blame. You have no control over what she does. Apparently, what she did makes you as uncomfortable as you made her.

Look no farther than your post heading. You put yourself in a superior class than her. You probably communicate that to her when you AIM. That is not right and people should not excuse your part in this.

You just need to ask yourself if you should reel in the house talk. There will always be people richer, better looking, smarter and all around better than you. You don't like them making you feel inferior. In fact, they are better viewed if they go out of their way to make you feel good about yourself. That is civility, friendship and good manners.