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Old 04-10-2010, 01:19 PM
 
926 posts, read 1,016,516 times
Reputation: 476
Default My neighbor's screen door keeps swinging around

My apartment neighbor is an older man who is hard of hearing and blasts his TV (walls are paper thin), talks loudly in the hall with his guests at 2am without considering others may want to sleep and has a screen door on his balcony that tends to get unlatched when it's windy. The problem is that the door swings open and bangs against the metal railing which is adjacent to my bedroom. The insulation isn't that great and as a result, there have been nights where it kept me awake, even with earplugs. I've left notes for him and sometimes had to leave for the night and go sleep over at my parents' place nearby - but they have since moved and that's no longer an option.
We don't really talk much, but I guess I could go knock on his door and try to work something out, asking to have a look at the door, try to adjust it. I'm surprised that he hasn't reported the loose door to the landlord yet - but if he's deaf and doesn't care about his neighbors, why would he?

What would you do in this situation? I can't have peaceful enjoyment in my bedroom and it's pretty stressful hearing this noise.
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Old 04-10-2010, 02:51 PM
 
Location: southwest TN
6,502 posts, read 6,478,540 times
Reputation: 10424
I am late deafened so I can understand a bit what is going on with him. First, do you know if anyone has told him about closed captioning on the TV. It makes such a HUGE difference in my ability to enjoy watching some shows and it allows others to be in the room with me. It sounds also as if he either doesn't have a hearing aid or doesn't have a good one. He doesn't know he is talking loud in the hallway. He may think he is being quiet. Same with the TV. If I didn't have a husband with good hearing, I would not have known how loud the TV had been. He used to say he could hear it down the block in the winter with all doors and windows shut.

As for the screen door, unless he has tried to learn how to hone his other senses, he probably is not aware what's going on with it. I think you need to have a talk with the landlord and let them know about his screen door and how it is affecting you and could they please fix it.

Also, please keep in mind, that he cannot change or fix his hearing situation. When you speak to him, be very aware that you do not cover or block your mouth with your hand (or anything). Do not look at the door when you speak to him about it. The door has no ears and your neighbor only hears what is in front of him, directed at his face. He may have learned some lip-reading, it happens without being conscious, so be very careful to allow him to see your mouth. Speak slowly, but do not exaggerate. He's deaf/HoH, not stupid (something I had to remind a co-worker often). Keep your words to a minimum: in otherwords, do not throw in any excess words, "you know, like". They confuse. As a HoH, I have to focus on every word to HEAR it, then I have to wait while my brain tries to make sense of it. Often, I cannot and ask a person to REPEAT. If he does that, REPEAT - do not change what you said. He is trying to fill in the blanks. He doesn't need you to explain what you said he needs you to REPEAT - verbatim.

You might have a nice, friendly chat with him about the noise. I am certain he doesn't know that he awakens you and how that affects your work because of sleep interruption. Keep it friendly and offer to take him to the hearing clinic. You might also find out if your state has a program for the elderly and/or hearing impaired (sometimes a combined program). Hearing aids aren't cheap and they are not covered by any insurance program. He may also not know how to set the closed captioning on his tv. Offer to help him.

I know it's difficult and extremely frustrating to deal with a HoH person, but keep reminding yourself of this:

When you lose your vision, you lose touch with things; when you lose your hearing, you lose contact with PEOPLE. It's very isolating, lonely often, and scary.
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Old 04-10-2010, 10:14 PM
 
13,128 posts, read 23,443,330 times
Reputation: 7389
Sounds like a piston-type screen door closer would be the simple solution and should be under $20
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Old 04-17-2010, 09:15 PM
 
3,614 posts, read 2,506,394 times
Reputation: 3135
Quote:
Originally Posted by NY Annie View Post
I am late deafened so I can understand a bit what is going on with him. First, do you know if anyone has told him about closed captioning on the TV. It makes such a HUGE difference in my ability to enjoy watching some shows and it allows others to be in the room with me. It sounds also as if he either doesn't have a hearing aid or doesn't have a good one. He doesn't know he is talking loud in the hallway. He may think he is being quiet. Same with the TV. If I didn't have a husband with good hearing, I would not have known how loud the TV had been. He used to say he could hear it down the block in the winter with all doors and windows shut.

As for the screen door, unless he has tried to learn how to hone his other senses, he probably is not aware what's going on with it. I think you need to have a talk with the landlord and let them know about his screen door and how it is affecting you and could they please fix it.

Also, please keep in mind, that he cannot change or fix his hearing situation. When you speak to him, be very aware that you do not cover or block your mouth with your hand (or anything). Do not look at the door when you speak to him about it. The door has no ears and your neighbor only hears what is in front of him, directed at his face. He may have learned some lip-reading, it happens without being conscious, so be very careful to allow him to see your mouth. Speak slowly, but do not exaggerate. He's deaf/HoH, not stupid (something I had to remind a co-worker often). Keep your words to a minimum: in otherwords, do not throw in any excess words, "you know, like". They confuse. As a HoH, I have to focus on every word to HEAR it, then I have to wait while my brain tries to make sense of it. Often, I cannot and ask a person to REPEAT. If he does that, REPEAT - do not change what you said. He is trying to fill in the blanks. He doesn't need you to explain what you said he needs you to REPEAT - verbatim.

You might have a nice, friendly chat with him about the noise. I am certain he doesn't know that he awakens you and how that affects your work because of sleep interruption. Keep it friendly and offer to take him to the hearing clinic. You might also find out if your state has a program for the elderly and/or hearing impaired (sometimes a combined program). Hearing aids aren't cheap and they are not covered by any insurance program. He may also not know how to set the closed captioning on his tv. Offer to help him.

I know it's difficult and extremely frustrating to deal with a HoH person, but keep reminding yourself of this:

When you lose your vision, you lose touch with things; when you lose your hearing, you lose contact with PEOPLE. It's very isolating, lonely often, and scary.
so true--i need a hearing aid and medicare does not pay for one i was told so i am sure my neighbor may think my talking is too loud at times----you are so right in your last sentence
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Old 04-17-2010, 10:04 PM
 
Location: southwest TN
6,502 posts, read 6,478,540 times
Reputation: 10424
Quote:
Originally Posted by auntieannie68 View Post
so true--i need a hearing aid and medicare does not pay for one i was told so i am sure my neighbor may think my talking is too loud at times----you are so right in your last sentence
Annie, I'm sending you a DM - hope that is ok. You're right, medicare - no insurance - pays for a hearing aid. Turn on the captioning on your TV - It makes a HUGE difference in your ability to watch tv.
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