One website that can help you select the best place is Find Your Spot:
Best Places to Live: Compare the Best Cities & Small Towns for You! (http://www.****.com/default.asp?ID=6ECBDD0D69484A18B1BE18B5588D420C&CX =LI - broken link)
You will be able to select all the items you listed and it will give you a list of places to investigate.
Best of luck to you in your search; I understand first-hand that it can be very confusing and frustrating. But don't give up!