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Old 09-03-2010, 08:14 AM
 
Location: Henderson, NV
3,459 posts, read 2,257,979 times
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I'd be interested in hearing from people who've retired, moved to a new state or town and had success making new friends. How did you set about meeting people?
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Old 09-03-2010, 10:01 AM
 
Location: Bar Harbor, ME
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I'm retiring to a completely different place, 600 miles north of where I live now. My wife and I are starting this adventure after living in the place we live now, bought a house 26 years ago, had our children and the left us, etc.

She will be 60 and I will be about 62 when we move, hopefully. We chose this place because of its beauty and its nearness to the ocean, but we would never have chosen it if there were not elements of connection that we developed. We hit it off right away without broker who as it turned out was also an educator early in his life. The local banker was a high school teacher. We looked to see if there was a Quaker Meeting(for other this would be a fath community of some kind.) There was, and so we went a few times and found them incredibly welcoming. We also checked to see how many retired people were in the community and if they were at all like us. We found that the community as a whole is generally a bit to the left of center, and that many of the retired people came from other places and are as excessively educated as we are. We joined the Senior college and immediate started making friends long distance and offered to help with programs from a distance. We continued to vacation there and get together with people that we met in Meeting and in Senior College and other places, and actually have had a summer party at our rental house every year and invited everyone we know in the area. Each party gets bigger.

With all this getting together and reaching out, we now actually have more social friends where we are moving than we have where we are living and working now.

You have to vacation in the community, find groups that you want to participate with and join them before you move, and visit them when you are vacationing there.

We're excited but we've really gone out of our way to find people. Everyplace we go we meet new people and we tell them that we are moving there. This last time we visited a car museum. I asked if they ever have any volunteers to help. They immediately got excited and I will plan on giving one day a month to them, and this will result in a whole bunch of new friends who we can socialize with.

I wouldn't say that I am a really social person. I know how to do it because professionally I have to teach children how to do it, and professionally I have to do it. But in my private life, I am usually too tired to do it. But in a new place, especially in retirement, we don't have 40 years to gradually develop friendships; we won't have children in the schools to connect families to; so we will have to reach out to everyone we meet with a smile and an attempt to become social friends.

Zarathu
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Old 09-03-2010, 06:34 PM
 
Location: Prescott Valley,az summer/east valley Az winter
2,042 posts, read 3,630,292 times
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moved 800 miles! You meet new freinds by going to the senior center and getting involved in the activities~ going up to our 55+ community's clubhouse and seeing what is going on and taking an interest in what they are doing and ewho they are. Have enough friends in two different retirement communities that IO really haven't had the time to get all the good books read that I was going to read when I retired and had some time for myself~ most of the reading I do now is audio books that I listen to while I'm getting to things I have gotten myself involved in.

Don't just sit at home~ new friends don't come knocking!
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Old 09-03-2010, 06:58 PM
 
Location: Bar Harbor, ME
1,922 posts, read 3,781,957 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deckdoc View Post
moved 800 miles! You meet new freinds by going to the senior center and getting involved in the activities~ going up to our 55+ community's clubhouse and seeing what is going on and taking an interest in what they are doing and ewho they are. Have enough friends in two different retirement communities that IO really haven't had the time to get all the good books read that I was going to read when I retired and had some time for myself~ most of the reading I do now is audio books that I listen to while I'm getting to things I have gotten myself involved in.

Don't just sit at home~ new friends don't come knocking!
YEAH... IF YOU GO TO A SENIOR COMMUNITY, then you really have it made comparated to move to just a house in a community. You still have to reach out, but all the mechanisms for the reaching are already there for you.

Altho, my Mom has all that and more, and she's not doing it. Of course waiting until you are 88 and 6 years after the love of your life has died, makes it very hard. She isn't looking to find new companionship, she just wants to die so she can be with my dad. I'm not sure they're going in the same direction. She may still be pining away.
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Old 09-03-2010, 07:16 PM
 
Location: Henderson, NV
3,459 posts, read 2,257,979 times
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Default Keep 'em coming

Great posts. Thanks.
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Old 09-03-2010, 07:41 PM
 
Location: Sarasota Florida
1,236 posts, read 3,610,415 times
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Cool I did it !

Retired and relocated 3k miles from the east coast (southern Florida) to the west coast (southern Oregon) leaving behind 35+ years of familiarity and friends

Making new friends under these conditions depends entirely on one's personality, energy level and community involvement. Certainly at this mature age we don't have the many years of working and socializing which enhanced our opportunity for making friends. Personally, I don't have the energy to join clubs, activities / travel miles in the car / stay out late / etc.

I did make one gal-pal "friend" and that seemed to be enough
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Old 09-03-2010, 09:17 PM
 
Location: Sacramento
13,784 posts, read 23,821,383 times
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We moved over 2,000 miles after retiring, to a place where we knew nobody.

I have found that volunteering has been a great way to meet folks. Just getting out there on a consistent basis and being involved with other people just results in eventual "hits" on making new friends.

I never "force" the issue, just spend time out there on a consistent basis involved in activities that have a purpose. The teamwork just helps meet folks.

Works very well.
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Old 09-03-2010, 09:24 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,847 posts, read 30,385,098 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deckdoc View Post
moved 800 miles! You meet new freinds by going to the senior center and getting involved in the activities~ going up to our 55+ community's clubhouse and seeing what is going on and taking an interest in what they are doing and ewho they are. Have enough friends in two different retirement communities that IO really haven't had the time to get all the good books read that I was going to read when I retired and had some time for myself~ most of the reading I do now is audio books that I listen to while I'm getting to things I have gotten myself involved in.

Don't just sit at home~ new friends don't come knocking!
All old people can talk about is their grand children and their ailments. No thanks. I might be a senior citizen myself (or darn near it), but I refuse to be old!

My suggestion is to find people in the arts community. Whether it is the little theater, hometown art show, photography shoots, or whatever - people who are interested in the arts are much more interesting and fun to be around.

20yrsinBranson
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Old 09-04-2010, 06:52 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
34,705 posts, read 33,718,482 times
Reputation: 51951
If you retire earlier than the population at large, be prepared for generational differences until your age eventually catches up and more people like you retire. Although you will have many acquaintances, it's harder to make close friends when you don't have much in common with them.
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Old 09-04-2010, 08:49 AM
 
Location: Bar Harbor, ME
1,922 posts, read 3,781,957 times
Reputation: 1292
Quote:
Originally Posted by LauraC View Post
If you retire earlier than the population at large, be prepared for generational differences until your age eventually catches up and more people like you retire. Although you will have many acquaintances, it's harder to make close friends when you don't have much in common with them.
I started a forum for the Senior College at my retirement area. Unfortunately, most of the members of senior college are not yet baby boomers and these people can barely communicate on email. An on-line forum is alien to them, they can't figure why you don't just pick up the phone if you want to converse.

There are exceptions of course, and one of them is a mid 80's couple who use the forum all the time.

But you are so very right! Of course, once I'm there I expect that I will be shoe-horned into leadership positions because I will be the baby of the group. What a change! Going from the eldest at work to the youngest in retirement. I get to be "the kid" again.

Odd how life turns around and around.

Z
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