News, Dying with debt: A dirty little retirement secret. (emotionally, weather, spouse)

[Escort Rider]

Originally Posted by Bideshi

My father told us "When I die, just put me in a sack and throw me in the river. I'd rather have you spend the money on yourselves than give it to a funeral home." We didn't do that, of course, and spent a lot of money on his funeral. He would not have been at all pleased. So we were just doing what society expected of us, it wasn't really for him, it was for appearances. Over the years I have come to understand his position on many things. Especially about escaping the money traps that are set up for us all through our short lives. I feel exactly the same way about expensive weddings. My wife and I were married in a government office (33 years ago), our son was married in a government office, and our daughter was married in the local court house. That's probably 100k saved right there. It is foolish, I think, for people to spend the down payment for a house on a wedding. I don't expect many to agree.

I agree 100% about weddings, but even here it doesn't have to be all or nothing. My ex-wife and I had a church wedding, but did not feed everone at a sit-down dinner. At the reception immediately following, the guests could have wedding cake and coffee, and that was quite adequate. Like Bideshi, I have often wondered why people who are not filthy rich spend the money they do on weddings. Appearances, I suppose. Like being embarrassed to drive anything less than a BMW or a Mercedes.

[texdav]

I would say that the question would be answered the same easily;when your dead you are goinhg to worry. I dam not but my estate and executor will have plenty to pay offf any debt really. So 40% does not surprise with teh qauetion worded like that.

[Minervah]

I have a student loan I am paying off in monthly installments. It will outlive me. So I guess I am cheating the government on that. If I had the means to pay it off I would but I am also not going to my grave worrying about the fact that I can't.

[Grandpa Pipes]

Originally Posted by newenglandgirl

Yes, death is the ultimate emergency. But why pay big bucks for a funeral? What is the point? Why not instruct your family to have your remains cremated immediately and scatter your ashes over the Pacific, Atlantic, Mount Washington, or wherever? Gone is gone. Let not consumerism consume even our final and most sacred act.

I couldn't agree more!

That the funeral industry will rape my estate is one point I will avoid at all cost.

I've left instructions with all my children that Mom & I are to be cremated then scattered to the four winds. NO stinking undertaker is gonna get one penney more than the cost to burn us.

[StealthRabbit]

Originally Posted by Tightwad

... NO stinking undertaker is gonna get one penney more than the cost to burn us.

I made sure I would fit in the wood stove, cheaper yet.

[Escort Rider]

Originally Posted by StealthRabbit

I made sure I would fit in the wood stove, cheaper yet.

Do-it-yourself cremations are illegal in most places.

[Escort Rider]

Originally Posted by Tightwad

That the funeral industry will rape my estate is one point I will avoid at all cost.

I've left instructions with all my children that Mom & I are to be cremated then scattered to the four winds. NO stinking undertaker is gonna get one penney more than the cost to burn us.

Nothing wrong with choosing cremation, and nothing wrong with the prime motivation for it being to save money. So far, so good. But what I don't get is the intensity of your emotional reaction against undertakers and the funeral industry. Any business owner, be it a car dealer, a home-improvement contractor, or a furniture store owner, will try to steer people into more expensive options in order to increase his profits. It's up to us as consumers to resist those suggestions if we don't want them. Are you equally angry at these other business people? If not, why not?

As a group, I have not found undertakers to be more high-pressure people than any of the others. Here's a no-pressure example: When arranging my mother's funeral my sister and I were told by the funeral director to choose the casket by going into the casket room without him and to take our time and discuss it between us. There were dozens of caskets and we just noted the stock number and the price and gave it to him. No arguments, no pressure.

[Kreutz]

Its worth noting if you have heirs and an estate of some value (like a home) and actually intend to leave something to them, maxing out your debt before death just means your creditors will get first pick over whatever you had left when you died.

If you're childless or hate your kids...max them cards out!

[newenglandgirl]

Originally Posted by Escort Rider

Nothing wrong with choosing cremation, and nothing wrong with the prime motivation for it being to save money. So far, so good. But what I don't get is the intensity of your emotional reaction against undertakers and the funeral industry. Any business owner, be it a car dealer, a home-improvement contractor, or a furniture store owner, will try to steer people into more expensive options in order to increase his profits. It's up to us as consumers to resist those suggestions if we don't want them. Are you equally angry at these other business people? If not, why not?

As a group, I have not found undertakers to be more high-pressure people than any of the others. Here's a no-pressure example: When arranging my mother's funeral my sister and I were told by the funeral director to choose the casket by going into the casket room without him and to take our time and discuss it between us. There were dozens of caskets and we just noted the stock number and the price and gave it to him. No arguments, no pressure.

Funeral homes can make arrangements for every budget and some people need the comfort of that kind of service.

But I also just learned of a simple but contemporary independent crematorium (nationally certified) in Vermont that is located on a 200 acre dairy farm overlooking a lovely pasture. It is small-scale and very affordable. The family contacts them at their loved one's death and the deceased gets carried from the place s/he stopped breathing off to the hills of Vermont This service is "family direct"--no funeral home needed.

[NewToCA]

Originally Posted by Kreutz

Its worth noting if you have heirs and an estate of some value (like a home) and actually intend to leave something to them, maxing out your debt before death just means your creditors will get first pick over whatever you had left when you died.

If you're childless or hate your kids...max them cards out!

Actually, my recent experience is exactly the opposite of this posting.

We had a family member pass away a few years ago who had run up a bit of debt on his credit cards, over $30 K. The cards were in his name only.

When he passed away, the credit card companies demanded payment from his widow. However, after checking out the laws pertaining to debt and death, we found that she wasn't liable for the debt at all, and the cards were never paid off.

So, I guess he "won".