Do you think alot about the past, now that you are retired? (divorce, long-term)

[Dingler]

Once my father retired, he lost his interest in the modern world. He loved to talk about the "good old days" and visit places from his past. He would spend hours telling stories about the good old days. He would also drag my Mother to places he had success and happiness years ago. He would usually arrive home angry and sad because the town from his past that he visited had changed so much.

Do you like to think about the good old days and visit places from your past? Why or why not?

[Sgoldie]

Here's what I've noticed. Whenever a person goes through a life altering experience of any kind, be it retirement, divorce, death of a loved one, they temporarily transition back to the time before that thing/person was involved in their lives in order to start over. It's a comfort attempt I think to reinvent their lives. Temporary usually, not always.

[norm]

I do think about the past but I also did it before I retired. What else do you have to compare the present to?

[brightdoglover]

I look forward to finding out!

At 54, I do think about the past a fair amount. There are reminders everywhere as I drive through the city where I lived for some 18 years. I find it makes the present richer, to see how things lead to the present time, and the present has echoes that go beyond, say, yesterday or last week.
I do think, as you get older, you might tend toward things that are more universal than temporal, that is, pop culture or "current" things from younger years might fade away as less important.

[NCN]

I am not thinking about the past. I am looking forward to the future. Life does not stop because you retire from a job. I'm not dead yet!

[LauraC]

Originally Posted by Dingler

Once my father retired, he lost his interest in the modern world. He loved to talk about the "good old days" and visit places from his past. He would spend hours telling stories about the good old days. He would also drag my Mother to places he had success and happiness years ago. He would usually arrive home angry and sad because the town from his past that he visited had changed so much.

Do you like to think about the good old days and visit places from your past? Why or why not?

Not any more than I don't like to think of the bad old days from my past.

Sometimes, though, I think if I had done X instead of Y, how would my life have been different (not necessarily better or worse)? When you move and are forced to go through your accumulated junk/memorabilia/photos those kinds of thoughts can materialize.

But, I have heard that when you age, the hippocampus (where memories are transferred) in the brain shrinks, impacting the process of making new memories while long term (already proccessed) memories are not impacted. Soooo, maybe science is the reason why many older people remember what they did 50 years ago but can't remember what they had for lunch or where they put their car keys earlier in the day.

[brightdoglover]

Soooo, maybe science is the reason why many older people remember what they did 50 years ago but can't remember what they had for lunch or where they put their car keys earlier in the day.


Actually, in people with Alzheimer's dementia, the long-term memory is the last thing to go, short-term is first.

[azloafer]

I don't like to think about the "old" days. When I do, my wife reminds me that I shouldn't dwell on the past. I usually start to think about the bad things that happened instead of the good. It's best to live for "today."

[brightdoglover]

[quote=azloafer;1221540][b]I don't like to think about the "old" days. When I do, my wife reminds me that I shouldn't dwell on the past. I usually start to think about the bad things that happened instead of the good. It's best to live for "today."

Amen to that. The Zen Buddhists and other sensible folk applaud.

[NewToCA]

Having recently retired I actually went through a couple of phases applying to this discussion. The first few months I tried really hard not to think about work, and all of the long term projects, in which I had made significant efforts, remaining unfinished. I kept feeling like making one more phone call to my old office, or call in for one last meeting, or sending out one last e-mail. I found it a little difficult to disengage.

I decided to focus on something new, which I had an interest in but never really tried. I volunteered for some minor tasks involving improving my new community. I knew as a volunteer I would get very marginal attention, which was a big change for me. I decided to try and see if my prior knowledge could be brought forth in a way which would allow me to gain greater access and influence. This required me to really focus on listening to local officials, understanding their objectives, and then bringing forth other possible ideas within the context of what they were trying to achieve. The key is to be able to make a contribution of value, while not being dismissive of the ideas of others nor arrogant/know it all in the process. This is not as easy as it seems, you err on either being too passive and just "in attendance" or to pushy and alienating those you wish to assist.

So far it is going well, and I have been requested to participate in more decisionmaking. It is the key that allowed me to disengage from the past, I got mentally involved in a new process, and participating from a new angle. It is both challenging and fun, and hopefully I will be able to make a significant contribution towards improving the placement and delivery of services in the community.