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Location: Los Angeles, but looking for my niche in ME, or OR
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I was thinking about retirement the other day. Checking states, cities, houses, banks, investments etc... I'm in my mid 40's and just started planning for it seriously this past year. And all of a sudden this dark thought crossed my mind: And then what? So this is what life is all about? What happened to that teenager guy full of dreams? This would be it for him? I have a good disposition about life in general, but this thought DID cross my mind, and I never thought it would. So, I decided to ask other people what they think about it. Do the recently retired go through this? And if so, how do they cope? Is it a normal feeling that we just get over later? Would you care to share with us your own experience?
Last edited by MainerWannabe; 04-10-2011 at 10:28 PM..
When do you plan to retire MainerWannabe? At what age? You are awfully young to be having in-depth planning and thought about retirement unless you're planning for a very early retirement, although, of course, you should be thinking of the financial planning for retirement in your 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's with a 401(k) plan and/or other financial vehicles.
But as far as having depression about what happens after working ends, you seem so young to be worrying about it. It is an interesting question though. Of course, the 'is that all there is' feeling can hit at any age and all ages.
I will say that I've had some loss of identity and purpose since retiring 15 months ago living without my work which offered a sense of accomplishment, challenge, appreciation from those I served at my workplace, and a sense of self-esteem from performing well.
So I'm working on getting over and through those feelings. I can't say I've found a satisfactory solution and I just try to stay happy each day. I won't offer up the usual and somewhat trite solution of volunteer work. Not putting it down, but it doesn't work for everyone, and not everyone can find a suitable fit or place.
A lot depends on how much one's sense of accomplishment and worth and meaning is derived from work. Those teenage dreams, did they have to do with creative things through work? Some dreams and adventures can be pursued better with the extra time and freedom which retirement grants us. For many people, creating meaningful activities in retirement is quite a challenge, but for others the hobbies and activities were already there, alongside work, just waiting for the gift of more time. For still others, work was stultifying, tedious, and stressful without many rewards other than the paycheck. So there are many scenarios. The way you have worded your OP, it sounds like you had a vision of retirement as being a void, as being nothingness. This is not the way a lot of us feft about it, but it is not uncommon either. (I am 67 and have been semi-retired for almost six years. I feel lucky that my occasional paid projects are generally gratifying and that I have found volunteer work which is perhaps even more meaningful and deeply satisfying than a lot of the work hours I spent while employed full-time. The previous poster is right about volunteer work; not everyone will find the right niche and it may not be the thing to float all boats. I'm just giving my own experience.)
Since I never wanted to go to work in the first place, my retirement is a dream come true.
We are all different; some love working and when they retire have a difficult time feeling useful, or they may have no idea how to fill their day. Some feel they have to be 'doing something' all the time or they get bored, and in some cases depressed.
I am not a 'have to be doing something' person; I find contentment having the luxury of making my own schedule. If I want to get out and about, I do so; if I prefer to stay at home, I do so. It's my life/my retirement, and I do what works for me.
I have lost count of the number of times I have been asked: "So, what are you going to do now?"....and my answer is, "Enjoy it!"
When I was your age I felt the same way. Why would I retire when I enjoyed my job? What would I do? What could I afford?
As I aged and saved for retirement, the company changed, friends retired, medical issues became more prevalent, I felt I had to dragged myself to work each day as I was bored with my job, etc. So I started to seriously think about retiring and what I would "replace" my job doing. Now it seems with all that I have to keep busy, I would never find the time to work! (Rving, woodshop, genealogy, gardening, volunteering for community organizations, trained and had our dog certified as a Therapy Dog, Patriot Guards, motorcycle trips, to name a few). And there are days I just sit back on the porch with the neighbors.
Retirement isn't the end of life. It's merely another in the many stages of life and one where you get to write the story. Pretty neat.
You can speed up or slow down, take in as much entertainment or hobbies or activities as you want, have time to discover new things. I have friends who are hardly ever home going on world wide trips one right after the other, others golf every morning out to lunch afternoons and dance all night. It's hard to catch up with them. I don't have a lot of money after my divorce but my schedule includes a daily swim, free nightly music with dancing, lunch out once a month with a girlfriend, and festivals every weekend. I have an electric piano, a book going most of the time, and even regular food shopping or preparing meals is more enjoyable when you don't have to rush. There's time to talk to neighbors, plan a day trip, or take a cheap cruise. I set myself up with all the little things I could do cheaply that I enjoy so I have a choice of activities. Picnic basket, portable bbq, cooking gadgets, camping equipment, fishing reel, golf clubs, bicycle, archery, diving equipment, target practice, paint set, piano, music, books, dvd's, ipod, sewing machine, tools. Retirement couldn't be more fun.
Instead of being depressed, I was euphoric after retirement. I made a point of running an errand in the Financial District the first Tuesday after retirement so I'd pass my old building at the exact time the weekly staff meeting started. After a reorg these meetings had become almost unendurable for everyone, so I chuckled thinking of my poor former coworkers as I ran my errand and headed home. Ha!
MainerWannabe, when I was your age I had not even thought of retirement. Only in the last 8 or 9 years before I quit did retirement seem to be a possibility. In the last couple of years, after a few reorgs, work stopped being fun and I began working seriously on a Plan A and Plan B. I hung in there long enough for my Plan A to happen and I have never regretted it.
I do miss what susanra mentioned -- the sense of accomplishment and appreciation, although I get some of that from doing tech support for friends. I miss competing successfully with young male techies -- there's no replacement for that! But I am still glad I quit. It was time.
I retired at 40 and found it boring, after 5 years I found a new career and loved it. Made my now retirement even more enjoyable. I now have another retirement check and free health care. I just had to much energy to retire young, but it was my dream to retire at 40. There is only so much goofing off you can do each day and it becomes old, even traveling. I am a very active senior citizen and it's right for me now.
When I was 40 years old, I thought that when I retired I would go to school and become an ND(doctor of Nutrition). I also thought that I would be able to continue to run up the side of the Step Trail on Door mountain too. When you are 62 years old, you will find that after more than 40 years in some career or job that you are probably tired and ready to go. Just believe me that 90% of the things that I thought I would do or think about doing when I retired when I was 40, are completely off the mark.
I do know a few men whose jobs were high up on the food chain, which yielded a lot of power. They were extremely hesitant to retire and in fact, two of them didn't retire until they were 70 (and dropped dead within 6 and 9 mos. respectively) and another retired and came back as a consultant. None of them knew how to enjoy life without the power that their jobs provided them.
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