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Old 08-01-2007, 10:19 PM
 
Location: California
55,604 posts, read 11,785,270 times
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Default Living with your children

If you retire,would you stay with your grown children,like a lot of asian families would stay together,do you think you would be able to?
Would you live in a retirement home?
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Old 08-01-2007, 10:43 PM
 
Location: This is Islanders Country
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A resounding "NO" to both questions.
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Old 08-02-2007, 09:29 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas
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Both those options are distasteful to me. My parents did it to me and I have promised myself that the misery ended with me. I will never do this to anyone else.
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Old 08-02-2007, 11:54 AM
 
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If either of my in-laws moved into my house, I think I would move out. Both have extremely annoying and unique personal habits that would drive one up the wall. Lucky they have set aside enough for their retirement and long terms plans. Not a worry.
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Old 08-02-2007, 01:24 PM
 
Location: Oxygen Ln. AZ
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My 92 year old mom lives with us. She may out live us as well. I could not leave her in N.Ca alone as there were several "preditor" type friends she made that wanted to help her with her banking and such. I would not, could not, move in with our children. I would rather jump off of a bluff someplace. But we are getting along just fine and she will stay here until she needs to go into a home, or we go into a home, whichever occurs first.
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Old 08-02-2007, 02:10 PM
 
Location: Prospect, KY
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I would have my mother move in with us if that seemed to be the best thing for her. I would also live in a retirement home if the circumstances were right.

After my FIL died about 6 years ago, my then 84 year old MIL sold her condo and moved into a retirement home - she has a nice size 1 bedroom apartment with a small kitchen and maid service...3 delicious meals are included in the fancy dining room. They have all kinds of activities, clubs and field trips and they even do community service projects. Living in a retirement community has kept my MIL from being lonesome.

If the choice were live with my kids (whom I love and adore) or move into a retirement home, I'd choose the retirement home - I would not want to be a burden to my kids or strain relationships with my DIL's. One thing is for sure, I hope to remain flexible with regards to living arrangements as my mother ages and as my husband and I age - there are lots of options to consider.
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Old 08-02-2007, 02:31 PM
 
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One thing is for sure, I hope to remain flexible with regards to living arrangements as my mother ages and as my husband and I age - there are lots of options to consider.[/quote]

What do you mean by "a home?" Some people think "institutional nursing home." There's a lot of space between the latter and one's own home.

I have no children, by choice. I built my little dream house with a first-floor bedroom and bath. I am aware of how car-dependent I am, although made sure not to move into "the sticks." I am one mile from a few necessary things, and my local town has some Council on Aging services/transport. I pay attention to 62+ apartment communities. (Around here, 55+ housing means cool new smaller houses way out on the highway). I keep an eye on older old age, when one might be less mobile or able.
I try my best to save money and have equity so I will have choices if a frailer older age comes to me.

I hear I am unusual for 54. I don't obsess about it, but I remain aware that age might cause changes in how/where I live.

I have offered my father to live with me, but so far he has declined. He lives in a small trailer in a very developed area outside Philadelphia, has great health, and can walk to a train to Philly and Atlantic City. I do think he'd move here if he could walk to gambling!
I think we all need to keep older age in the back of our minds. "Retirement" means more than silver-haired foxes on the cover of AARP in virile coupledom on motorcycles!
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Old 08-02-2007, 04:24 PM
 
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If one of my kids had a large-enough property on it with a guest house, then it would work. Maybe. Other than that, nah, don't think I'd live with any of my kids although I do miss them when they're not around.
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Old 08-02-2007, 07:34 PM
 
Location: California
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Wow! I guess it's better to live a seperate life!
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Old 08-02-2007, 08:53 PM
 
Location: This is Islanders Country
289 posts, read 747,893 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brightdoglover View Post

I have no children, by choice. I built my little dream house with a first-floor bedroom and bath. I am aware of how car-dependent I am, although made sure not to move into "the sticks." I am one mile from a few necessary things, and my local town has some Council on Aging services/transport. I pay attention to 62+ apartment communities. (Around here, 55+ housing means cool new smaller houses way out on the highway). I keep an eye on older old age, when one might be less mobile or able.
I try my best to save money and have equity so I will have choices if a frailer older age comes to me.

I hear I am unusual for 54. I don't obsess about it, but I remain aware that age might cause changes in how/where I live.

I think we all need to keep older age in the back of our minds. "Retirement" means more than silver-haired foxes on the cover of AARP in virile coupledom on motorcycles!
If you're unusual for 54, then so am I! I'm a few years older than you, but I started thinking the same way you do at about the same age (when the body began not being quite as "forgiving" as it used to be!).

The reason I'm looking for another house is the same as yours: My current big 2-story house won't coexist well with the 80 or 90something year old me, and I want to be where I can live independently well BEFORE it becomes "a necessity" to think that way.

I'd love to be able to build my dream house but in my market it's just not possible and I definitely don't want to move away from Long Island which I love. There's almost no vacant land and what there is, is either empty lots out in the boonies (no thanks) or existing houses that are way overpriced. Almost everyone who wants new construction ends up having to buy something, tear it down, and then build whatever. Trouble is, you can't even get a teardown in a decent neighborhood for less than 500K. Oh well, such is life.

I'm a firm believer in planning ahead as much as possible. There's a lot that we can't possibly anticipate but it can't hurt to be proactive about the things that we CAN plan ahead for.
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