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Old 07-27-2011, 07:40 PM
 
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I really have never meet anyoen who regretted having children .Most will tell you especallly has they age they realise more and more what a miracle it is.Other things you when younger thought was important seem to fade in comparison.
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Old 07-27-2011, 08:28 PM
 
Location: Exeter, NH
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arwenmark View Post
But the main reason is what the world has become in just my lifetime, and where it is headed. I don't want those I love to have to live through it or die in it for that matter.

This resonates because my spouse and I are both very analytical, and we both saw how hard it was going to be for my generation (born early 1960s) to achieve financial security. We decided this was not a good environment to bring more people into, though had we been independently wealthy we would have done it. We understood early that when you start with nothing, as we did, having children would pretty much make early retirement impossible. Though I must say, our nation and economy was destroyed much faster than than I would have imagined possible. I didn't think the end would come this soon.

My spouse and I graduated college in 1983--probably the worst year of total collapse of the employment market (though it did recover) before the current Depression. Ironically, the first of our extended family's children started graduating college a couple of years ago, into the same hopeless situation.

We ended up spending 5 years in the military--a huge socioeconomic step down after graduating with honors in a highly technical field highly prized by large industry employers. But living with parents was not an option to us, and so we had to settle for 5 years of endless separations, poverty level wages, and very high expenses. We basically lived hand-to-mouth for 5 years, then started over--at about where we would have been if we graduated in any sort of functional employment market. It is a fact that you never make up the lost ground, and this is doubly sad for the young adults starting out now.

Moderator cut: off topic

Last edited by Kimballette; 07-28-2011 at 07:01 PM.. Reason: off topic
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Old 07-27-2011, 08:33 PM
 
Location: Exeter, NH
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Quote:
Originally Posted by texdav View Post
I really have never meet anyoen who regretted having children .Most will tell you especallly has they age they realise more and more what a miracle it is.Other things you when younger thought was important seem to fade in comparison.
If you have children, or know you're a person who dotes on kids, nobody will confide to you that they regret having them. However, my spouse and I had no kids, and it is amazing how many people learn this and then have a very quick, instinctive response (before their "editor" kicks in) of "Wow, you're smart!" or "God, I wish I'd thought about it first!" and even once "Some say three kids are too many, but I hadn't realized that sometimes ONE is too many" from a friend with a single severely autistic child.
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Old 07-27-2011, 09:26 PM
 
Location: SoCal desert
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Moderator cut: snip

As for the topic ... I don't regret hosting my exchange students (well, 90% of them anyway ) and trying to steer them safely through an American year of High School!

Last edited by Kimballette; 07-28-2011 at 07:02 PM.. Reason: snip
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Old 07-27-2011, 11:27 PM
 
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People who think they were "childless" before having children are in a very different mindset than those of us who consciously and often quite early in life decided not to become parents. I think many people vaguely assume they'll have children "someday" and then do, plus there are those who consciously and actively wanted to have children and do so as an expected and desired part of younger adult life.
I do think this question on a retirement forum also selects out for people whose childbearing years likely occurred in a time of lousy birth control, no or very restricted abortion, and far fewer options for women in the world outside of marriage/children. I know younger people might still just assume they'll be parents or be parents when married but the environment is very different than the one that many of us retired or retirement-interested people grew up in.
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Old 07-28-2011, 12:29 AM
 
Location: Out there somewhere...a traveling man.
39,523 posts, read 47,675,353 times
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Spouse and I waited til our early 30's to have 2 children, a boy and a girl. Why, we wanted to wait several years to sow our youthful oats, to have some financial security and know we could raise them in a mature responsible environment.
We never regretted our decisions. Now we're blessed with 2 grandchildren. Life is good.
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Old 07-28-2011, 02:19 AM
 
Location: Maryland
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No regrets whatsoever, the parenting experience has been enjoyable and very satisfying. Both my genetic contribution and personal culture of tribe are in good hands with my daughters and recently, the first grandchild. It is absolutely fascinating to see how one's progeny deal with the world in their own time.

Viewpoints attributable to how terrible the immediate state of the world is bemuse me. Its not quite as if Attila is at the doorstep. I suspect every generation has its fair share of tribulations, but not terribly surprising, we manage to muddle through. C'est la vie.
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Old 07-30-2011, 08:15 AM
 
Location: East Coast
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I was the oldest of six, and I just knew in my heart of hearts that some day I would have children...I just would not be having six!!!

My husband and I were married for five years before we had children (our choice). We banked my salary, bought and furnished a house, did a little traveling...and then had our children. I was grateful to be a stay-at-home mom and I really enjoyed being home with our sons...we even discussed having another child. Then the unthinkable happened. At the age of 37, I became a widow with two small children. Let me tell you, those boys gave me a reason to get out of bed every single morning.

I don't regret having children at all, not one single bit...can't imagine my life without them. My sons are now twenty-somethings, living about an hour away in the "big city". I enjoyed them as babies, and I enjoy them now as young adults. It wasn't easy being a single mother, and because I never remarried, some people have told me that I probably put too much of my life into my children. But if I had it to do over again, I wouldn't change a thing.
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Old 07-30-2011, 08:18 AM
 
71,463 posts, read 71,652,652 times
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Insanity Is Hereditary ,You Inherit It From Your Children
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Old 07-30-2011, 01:20 PM
 
Location: Mammoth Lakes, CA
3,158 posts, read 6,935,353 times
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Quote:
I really have never meet anyone who regretted having children.
Boy, we must run in different crowds because I have known countless people who have told me they regret having had their children. In fact, when I went to my 25 year High School reunion, I was one of the few people attending who never was burdened with children. At least 10 people said to me, "I wish I had done the same thing."

I hear similar things from my colleagues, mostly those who have grown children living in their house in their 30's with their parents still supporting them.
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