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Old 01-27-2019, 11:28 AM
 
174 posts, read 54,487 times
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My daughter, and now also my granddaughter, are the bright lights in my life. I can't imagine not having them.
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Old 01-27-2019, 11:44 AM
 
13,322 posts, read 25,574,131 times
Reputation: 20505
I wonder if people think about "having a family" and might regret what they see they've missed, adult children they like, grandchildren. How about the years of "being a parent" and having all the difficulties of those years?
I think men, more likely, picture this abstraction of having a family, and don't think about the day-to-day miseries of being a parent. Whether or not children "turn out well," there is still the day-to-day life of being a parent. People don't seem to consider how their marriages would have been so different if involving children (again, especially the men).

I don't think it's possible to regret a choice not made, because you have no idea how it would feel or play out. I say this as a lifetime childfree-by-choice woman, who can only consider being a parent as a living nightmare. I do think I've missed seeing adult children I admire or like, but you have to do the other stuff to get there.
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Old 01-27-2019, 12:54 PM
 
Location: SoCal
13,252 posts, read 6,345,210 times
Reputation: 9857
Some men are great with kids. My husband got complimented all the time when my kids were younger, he dressed them when I was overwhelmed. He helped with a lot of housework too.
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Old 01-27-2019, 02:26 PM
 
Location: State of Superior
8,628 posts, read 13,896,256 times
Reputation: 2770
I never understood a young couple starting a family then 5-10 years they divorice . The woman saddled with a bunch of kids during her prime ,productive time of life can be a mess. I can begain to see a crazed women loading up the station wagon with her kids and driving into the lake , killing all her responsibilities at once when the mind snaps and she can not take it anymore !
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Old 01-27-2019, 02:41 PM
 
29,782 posts, read 34,880,403 times
Reputation: 11705
NO so very happy to have two great sons and to have great DIL's and wonderful grands. Truly a life blessing.
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Old 01-27-2019, 03:02 PM
mlb
 
Location: North Monterey County
3,188 posts, read 2,858,918 times
Reputation: 4879
Women pretty much are saddled with raising children. They do most of the hard work.

I know from watching my mother.

I missed nothing.
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Old 01-27-2019, 04:46 PM
 
Location: Southeast Michigan
1,187 posts, read 975,335 times
Reputation: 1340
I would regret NOT having had children.
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Old 01-27-2019, 05:13 PM
 
381 posts, read 352,836 times
Reputation: 1984
I am very happy that I have three grown children. I enjoy my grandchildren but I feel my deepest love is for my own. By the way, my divorced son raised his two children from the age of 4 til they were grown. It is very hard for a father also....very hard.
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Old 01-27-2019, 05:25 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,899 posts, read 14,397,959 times
Reputation: 30791
While I cannot imagine not having the three I had, I do think if I were starting out in life now, I would plan on having no more than two. There are so many demands on parents now. And I remember the financial strain of some of those years, too. I think it would be worse now.

But I really enjoyed my kids.
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Old 01-27-2019, 06:09 PM
 
Location: State of Superior
8,628 posts, read 13,896,256 times
Reputation: 2770
Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
While I cannot imagine not having the three I had, I do think if I were starting out in life now, I would plan on having no more than two. There are so many demands on parents now. And I remember the financial strain of some of those years, too. I think it would be worse now.

But I really enjoyed my kids.
You are one of the few who understands the game. This thread has been going on for 6 years. I had retired from involvement , until City-Data ask me to give it another look.....We would all fall asleep if ,in order to see the grand look and try to access some sort of consistent or reveling theory. Bottom line .....well if you DID go back and read em all.....I would like to know.
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