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Old 07-30-2011, 01:37 PM
 
Location: Toronto, Ottawa Valley & Dunedin FL
1,409 posts, read 2,354,075 times
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Well I supported my son somewhat until recently and he's 30. Yes, it's been tough, but I would never say that I wish I had never had him. He's a wonderful young man, despite all the flaws (and no, he doesn't live with us, and hasn't pretty well since he was about 16.)
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Old 07-30-2011, 01:48 PM
 
71,509 posts, read 71,674,131 times
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im sorry we didnt have more..... but we knew what we could afford and stopped at 2.
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Old 07-30-2011, 04:22 PM
 
Location: Central Florida
973 posts, read 1,489,255 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulysses61 View Post
Boy, we must run in different crowds because I have known countless people who have told me they regret having had their children. In fact, when I went to my 25 year High School reunion, I was one of the few people attending who never was burdened with children. At least 10 people said to me, "I wish I had done the same thing."

I hear similar things from my colleagues, mostly those who have grown children living in their house in their 30's with their parents still supporting them.
This is so sad.... but from my vantage point, more than likely is was because of HOW they raised them, if in fact they really did. Being a teacher, I can usually tell what families are dysfunctional and what kids "rule the roost". I am sad to say that so many parents just never taught, disciplined, helped/ encouraged, joked/talked with their kids or gave them "responsibilities" which lead to what I am reading here and have seen in real life. BUT why did they not??? Because it is TOO much trouble and it takes time....time that many do not want to give up; plus it is so much easier to just say YES than NO.

I am SOOOO glad that I had my three (even though I was only to have one ). I had some rocky moments with my daughter and two sons, but they were far, few and inbetween as they were just "testing the waters" when trying to figure out who they were. AND this is the biggest mistake that I see parents make: they think that once their children are in high school, they do not need them anymore. BUT this is when their children need them the most AND to set boundaries. All of mine had curfews and knew the consequences of breaking them; none of them worked as SCHOOL was their job and my older son only got a car due to his grandmother passing. I raised them the "Atticus Finch/ transcendental" way (talk with your children and not AT them; do not keep "giving" them "things" so they can value what they do have), and to this day they thank me for this as they are responsible, caring adults who are helping to move society forward.

So I am one who is happy that I have these children. AND I know when the time comes, and I will need their help, they will be there.
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Old 01-14-2012, 04:57 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,408 posts, read 16,473,051 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulysses61 View Post
Boy, we must run in different crowds because I have known countless people who have told me they regret having had their children. In fact, when I went to my 25 year High School reunion, I was one of the few people attending who never was burdened with children. At least 10 people said to me, "I wish I had done the same thing."

I hear similar things from my colleagues, mostly those who have grown children living in their house in their 30's with their parents still supporting them.
Yes. I have met those, too. Once kids happen along you cannot steer your own life, but must constantly bend to their existence. They are so easy to get and so hard to get rid of.
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Old 01-14-2012, 05:21 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,699 posts, read 23,655,251 times
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There are websites where people confess they are sorry they had kids. I have seen a few. I think that most are anonymous because they feel guilty about their comments and don't want to identify themselves.

I can understand because it is not really an acceptable thing to admit and the posters are probably worried about being considered bad people. Some comments are actually heartbreaking because the parent feels nothing or hostility toward their kids and one has to wonder how they relate to them.

In the past I have actually had people, when they discovered I was childfree, told me if they had to do it all over again they would not have kids. But they always told me not to tell anyone else.
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Old 01-14-2012, 06:03 PM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
3,745 posts, read 4,215,210 times
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Originally Posted by goldengrain View Post
Yes. I have met those, too. Once kids happen along you cannot steer your own life, but must constantly bend to their existence. They are so easy to get and so hard to get rid of.
Rephrased, "Once you bring a child into this world, that child will be a part of you forever."
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Old 01-14-2012, 06:08 PM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
3,745 posts, read 4,215,210 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
There are websites where people confess they are sorry they had kids. I have seen a few. I think that most are anonymous because they feel guilty about their comments and don't want to identify themselves.

I can understand because it is not really an acceptable thing to admit and the posters are probably worried about being considered bad people. Some comments are actually heartbreaking because the parent feels nothing or hostility toward their kids and one has to wonder how they relate to them.

In the past I have actually had people, when they discovered I was childfree, told me if they had to do it all over again they would not have kids. But they always told me not to tell anyone else.
I find it interesting that that the childfree thread runs on for 18 or so pages with only a few parents horning in on the thread. Yet this thread had to be revived after a few pages of discourse, of which about 1/3 of the posts are by childfree individuals.
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Old 01-14-2012, 06:09 PM
 
Location: Sierra Vista, AZ
16,133 posts, read 20,817,345 times
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I have no regrets and I'm sure my children are happy about it
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Old 01-14-2012, 06:17 PM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
3,745 posts, read 4,215,210 times
Reputation: 6866
I did not reply to this thread when first started because I was like, duh... You may as well be asking if I regret breathing.

How does one describe the bond between mother and child? Unconditional love. What more could I ask for?
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Old 01-14-2012, 06:24 PM
 
Location: Sierra Vista, AZ
16,133 posts, read 20,817,345 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wwanderer View Post
Okay, this is in response to the other thread, about being childless as a senior.

I responded to that thread, but on reflection, I felt I was horning in, since I do have a child and don't regret it.

So, I am starting this thread.

Are you happy that you had children, or do you regret that you did? Why?

When I was in the thick of the terrible teenaged years, I sometimes regretted it, amidst the tears, fears and anguish. But even then I loved him. Yes, we spent a lot of money on him (teeth, unfinished college, shrinks.) And missed out on many adventures, although we managed to do some great travel once he started growing up.

I feel like the love that a parent feels for a child is very special and irreplaceable (pets notwithstanding !)

I also think that being a parent is one of life's great adventures, and makes you grow in fundamental ways.

He's going his own way now, and I applaud that, but we fortunately continue to be close in many ways, and I hope that my husband and I will continue to have a mutually loving relationship with our son until we're both gone.

I DO NOT hope that I become a burden to him, nor do I expect him to take care of me. Nor do I expect him to produce grandchildren.

DISCLAIMER: this is in no way intended to belittle all the folks that chose not be parents. Life is full of adventures, and parenting is just one of them.
How would you feel if your parents had never had children
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