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Old 01-14-2012, 06:25 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,467,321 times
Reputation: 29071

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Quote:
Originally Posted by lenora View Post
I did not reply to this thread when first started because I was like, duh... You may as well be asking if I regret breathing.

How does one describe the bond between mother and child? Unconditional love. What more could I ask for?
Nothing, provided it's reciprocal, as it should be.
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Old 01-14-2012, 06:41 PM
 
Location: Colorado
18,827 posts, read 4,940,290 times
Reputation: 5476
Let's say I was fortunate that our 3 children were not too difficult to raise. Yes, they had their own minds and sometimes
there were disagreements but they weren't in trouble with the law, weren't into drugs or other bad choices. They were married
and had their children in their late 20's, early 30's.
I wanted children ever since I was a little girl, but didn't have my first until I was 25. I never felt they took away from my life,
I was ready for them.
Some people do not want to have children, nothing wrong with that. Some thought it would turn out better but endured a lot
of heartache. I can see why those regretted it.
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Old 01-14-2012, 06:51 PM
 
Location: Lexington, SC
4,281 posts, read 10,730,596 times
Reputation: 3716
My daughter once asked me if my present wife and I ever regretted not having children. I sad no. We had discussed it and it was the way we wanted it.

She said well then did you regret having me? I replied no, not at all

She then pushed with the...yes buts...I saw it coming...no matter what I said I was in trouble with her....and I was...so I said knowing what I know about life now....I would have not had children...especially with your mother....took her sometime to get over my answer...like years...but as she aged....went thru a divorce....became less idealistic....she did get over it.

Bottom line...I should have lied to her....LOL
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Old 01-14-2012, 06:57 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,164 posts, read 8,687,150 times
Reputation: 6164
Smile My thoughts exactly.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sagitarrius48 View Post
This is so sad.... but from my vantage point, more than likely is was because of HOW they raised them, if in fact they really did. Being a teacher, I can usually tell what families are dysfunctional and what kids "rule the roost". I am sad to say that so many parents just never taught, disciplined, helped/ encouraged, joked/talked with their kids or gave them "responsibilities" which lead to what I am reading here and have seen in real life. BUT why did they not??? Because it is TOO much trouble and it takes time....time that many do not want to give up; plus it is so much easier to just say YES than NO.

I am SOOOO glad that I had my three (even though I was only to have one ). I had some rocky moments with my daughter and two sons, but they were far, few and inbetween as they were just "testing the waters" when trying to figure out who they were. AND this is the biggest mistake that I see parents make: they think that once their children are in high school, they do not need them anymore. BUT this is when their children need them the most AND to set boundaries. All of mine had curfews and knew the consequences of breaking them; none of them worked as SCHOOL was their job and my older son only got a car due to his grandmother passing. I raised them the "Atticus Finch/ transcendental" way (talk with your children and not AT them; do not keep "giving" them "things" so they can value what they do have), and to this day they thank me for this as they are responsible, caring adults who are helping to move society forward.

So I am one who is happy that I have these children. AND I know when the time comes, and I will need their help, they will be there.
My husband and I would attend all the parent-teacher conferences and really felt like we knew was going on; we also volunteered when needed; knew their friends and liked them - and felt the same when so many parents did not show - we were shocked when coming from the private school sector where being involved was always done - I did feel we were needed when they were in high school - in fact, you're being needed never goes out of style. I love when the kids are around; the house seems to have more life and they just are fun to have around! We were surprised how many parents did not show!
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:02 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 10,849,575 times
Reputation: 8956
Depending upon life circumstances, having children can be very difficult and painful . . . and yet, for me, if I had not had them, I would have remained extremely immature, perhaps adolescent.

For me, having children forced me to grow in ways I would never had been able to grow without the experiences they gave me . . .

So, for my growth, I think it was a good thing, if not an all-together pleasant experience.
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:11 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,467,321 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
Depending upon life circumstances, having children can be very difficult and painful . . . and yet, for me, if I had not had them, I would have remained extremely immature, perhaps adolescent.

For me, having children forced me to grow in ways I would never had been able to grow without the experiences they gave me . . .

So, for my growth, I think it was a good thing, if not an all-together pleasant experience.
Now that's honest!
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:53 PM
 
Location: Wyoming
9,415 posts, read 17,382,101 times
Reputation: 14073
No, never for an instant since my first child was born, have I ever regretted having children. I've achieved more in my lifetime than I ever expected, but the best and most important was raising two great kids and watching my grandchildren grow up. I've probably been luckier than many with my kids, but I can't imagine ever wishing they hadn't been born.
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Old 01-14-2012, 09:42 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,699 posts, read 23,651,778 times
Reputation: 35449
Quote:
Originally Posted by lenora View Post
I find it interesting that that the childfree thread runs on for 18 or so pages with only a few parents horning in on the thread. Yet this thread had to be revived after a few pages of discourse, of which about 1/3 of the posts are by childfree individuals.
LOL! This was my Senior moment. I honestly thought I was responding to a comment made on the other thread about not regretting having children. I clicked on it through my email notifications rather than actually coming here.

My bad. I will go away now.
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Old 01-14-2012, 11:58 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,726,438 times
Reputation: 32304
This thread has reminded me of a bumper sticker I once saw: "Get revenge; live long enough to be a burden to your children."
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Old 01-15-2012, 06:30 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,467,321 times
Reputation: 29071
Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
This thread has reminded me of a bumper sticker I once saw: "Get revenge; live long enough to be a burden to your children."
But also remembeer the one that says, "Be kind to your children. They'll select your nursing home!"
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