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Old 01-16-2012, 04:04 PM
 
173 posts, read 441,529 times
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I've loved having my DD. We waited until we could afford it and enjoyed almost every minute of it. I even tell her I enjoyed 23 of the 24 hours a day when she was a teen.

My only regret was that I didn't have another.

I found it to be an exciting, stimulating and creative time and consider the time we had as a family a great gift. She lives in another state now and is getting on with her own life, as she should.
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Old 01-16-2012, 04:35 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
21,535 posts, read 43,982,964 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by equinox1 View Post
I've loved having my DD. We waited until we could afford it and enjoyed almost every minute of it.
This should be drilled into the heads of every person of childbearing years. The world would be a different place.
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Old 01-17-2012, 06:48 AM
 
701 posts, read 1,530,994 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by equinox1 View Post
We waited until we could afford it and enjoyed almost every minute of it. I even tell her I enjoyed 23 of the 24 hours a day when she was a teen.

My only regret was that I didn't have another.

I found it to be an exciting, stimulating and creative time and consider the time we had as a family a great gift.
Me too.

We had three. My only regret is that we didn't have several more. They are three of my favorite people in the world. Enjoy the phone calls about what is going on in their lives. Love it when they are home.

We waited until we could afford it but that financial security didn't last. Huge medical bill with one baby wiped that out.

But what we did do that made a huge difference was to wait until we had lived it up a little and were ready to settle down. DH was 40. I was in my mid 30's.

The teen years were a challenge, no doubt about it. We did not give a thought to how physically challenging parenting teens would be. We thought that chasing after a toddler would be our hurdle. That was nothing compared to keeping up with three teenagers. I was so exhausted. Plus going through menopause while they were going through adolescence... Recipe for disaster. It's a wonder we all came out alive.

DS decided not to have children and it was the right decision for her. She enjoys uninterrupted baths and her early retirement.

But I can't imagine life without our kids. They are a joy.
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Old 01-17-2012, 02:52 PM
 
13,316 posts, read 25,550,246 times
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[quote=Wwanderer;20201649] We folks who have had children can imagine life without them, because (some of us) had a perfectly fine childless life before starting a family (I was 32 when my son was born.)

Everyone who has had children had a period of time before having them where they did not have them (obviously). That isn't at all the same as knowing you won't have them or ending up not having them. I do think a lot of people who become parents certainly viewed their years before children as "pre-children."

A
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Old 01-17-2012, 02:58 PM
 
13,316 posts, read 25,550,246 times
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I think people can really love their children and still wish they'd had a chance at life without being parents, and the children don't have to have been a "problem" child.
It's always easy to feel like, something you didn't do would have been really good if you had only done it. This applies to many things, and there are many things all of us didn't do/couldn't do/didn't manage to do in life, and it's easy to assume that, had we done it, it would have been great. It's also incorrect to assume that. That said, I feel that irrational way about a career path not taken in my 20s, easy to assume I'd have been happy with it, even as I look at my former co-workers, most of whom are laid off.
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Old 01-17-2012, 02:59 PM
 
13,316 posts, read 25,550,246 times
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To the tired canard of, "What if your parents didn't have children," I take a moment to answer this obvious point- of course I wouldn't care. I am not so bloody important to think that my birth was some sort of necessity in world history. (I do not have the religious belief of souls being brought to earth and so on. My existence is really neither here not there).
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Old 01-17-2012, 03:02 PM
 
Location: Sunshine N'Blue Skies
13,320 posts, read 20,137,343 times
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Absolutely not! I bonded with my girls on day one. I love them more each day and year. I have three wonderful girls and they have six little fellows.
My little fellows are like having the girls all over again.
No regrets at all. All our happy experiences have been with them and for them.
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Old 01-17-2012, 03:13 PM
 
Location: California
4,554 posts, read 5,467,791 times
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I was the last one in my family with the duty to stop a hereditary disease. Glad I didn't continue that problem as it has caused enough pain in my family. Also, I agree with my husband, there are already too many people in the world competing for resouces, which could get really ugly the way things are going.
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Old 01-17-2012, 04:22 PM
 
Location: Lexington, SC
4,281 posts, read 10,732,445 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heidi60 View Post
I was the last one in my family with the duty to stop a hereditary disease. Glad I didn't continue that problem as it has caused enough pain in my family. Also, I agree with my husband, there are already too many people in the world competing for resouces, which could get really ugly the way things are going.
I admire you for not being personally selfish.
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Old 01-18-2012, 08:22 AM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,408 posts, read 16,473,051 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lenora View Post
I did not reply to this thread when first started because I was like, duh... You may as well be asking if I regret breathing.

How does one describe the bond between mother and child? Unconditional love. What more could I ask for?
I think you only have unconditional love when your kids develop properly. If you are not great parent material or are born without that genetic maternal response, or your kid is born with a monster gene your unconditional love may wear thin.

I know a woman whose business went downhill and life savings has been spent basically sending kids to rehab and sorting out their problems with police. This has been going on for two generations in her family. Another has her husband hiding money from her because every cent goes to her kids and theirs. All needy because they have as many kids as God blesses them with.

Some kids would have better off not being born, whether it is their not being able to be decent humans or that their parents are just inept as parents.

I don't think love is really unconditional, much as that may be an ideal to aspire to. We all have our breaking points. We are only human, not gods. Mother Theresa even lost her faith, didn't she?

Some people have mentioned genetics. Yes, the families that I see seem to have multiple generations of drug or alcohol abuse going on. I have heard that families with alcohol abuse often also have a lot of diabetics.

It used to be the case, a long time ago, when the weak and sickly among us would die off before having the opportunity to reproduce. Now the miracle of modern science keeps these poor folks alive so that they can produce more generations of sickly offspring - and these sometimes find each other.

Last edited by goldengrain; 01-18-2012 at 09:02 AM..
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