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I regret having my first child so young (20) but he’s incredible and I’m lucky to have him. Later I had fertility problems and after many years had a second son. I’m very grateful. We don’t live near either one but see them at least once a year. They have helped me be wiser and more compassionate than I might have been without them.
Can’t say I regret having children; some would say blessed, I would say stuck/tied up for a lot of years.
I couldn’t have asked for better kids; highly educated, never misbehaved, but let’s face it, the main reason you have children is to pick your pockets, then you pass and hand over your wallet...If you do child rearing right, it’s very expensive, with not much return.
Your age has more to do with how you feel about kids. For me an early marriage at 20 and a 17 year old girl who told me she was pregnant when she was not. So we got married, I missed higher learning, her too, and sure after a year she Was pregent.......One child, marriage lasted 5 years , she became full gay and I traveled with my work all over the place. I seldom saw my son, I did not know him very well....then at 14 she sent him to me ,she had enough, little did I know there was a drug problem. The worst thing was I tried to enroll him into a private,strict school, he called his mother she took him back...........
Move ahead many years , drug and alcohol continued. We saw each other a few times a year, then it was once every 5 years........today he is in his 50s ,never married, never able to hold a job. Yes I blame myself for the way it all turned out......and yes I am one of those who wish I had never had a child......for both of us.
I am childless, child free, didn't want kids, never felt the urge etc.
Some people think it is weird and i wonder why? Well i do wonder why some had kids, so i guess we are sort of even. But i have never asked - why the hell did you have kids?
This one lady - a waitress in a local place - just kept interrogating me about why. You must not have been able to have kids? I said no, i never wanted any. I was honest with her. She was just aghast. She's hispanic, so maybe that has something to do with it? I'm also hispanic by the way.
I thought maybe she was wondering why she HAD to have kids? And it is just something she was brainwashed into? Expected to do? Does turn out that two of her sons are drug addicts - so there is that.
Wow that waitress was rude. I don’t really get the wondering why or why not, people have their reasons and it’s not for others to judge . If others are happy with their choices or enjoy their lives with or without then that’s all that counts.
Well this thread is a blast from the past. It was great to read posts from Curmudgeon, Escort Rider and Riverbird--Eternal Members.
No, I have not ever regretted having my three. They are precious to me and still much loved. I know DH feels the same.
However two of my three have not and will not have children. So I simply rejoice with my two grandchildren, and we love them with all our hearts.
I would never, ever presume to judge anyone for deciding to have, or not have children. If you do not want children, then by all means, make sure you will not. And, just as a reminder, birth control does not have to be the responsibility of the woman.
My point was that as we ( childless) folks grow older our preferences do change . When I was 35 ,single living the good life in suburban Chicago, and in a singles complex ,plenty of change in my wallet . Sport cars was my prefrence, like a dream life so many could only wish for.........then move forward to today,in my 70’, good health,a nice lady ( did not wants kids ether ) who makes tons of money, life is good,sort of, and yes I do regret not having a normal life with kids and grandchildren............
My point was that as we ( childless) folks grow older our preferences do change . When I was 35 ,single living the good life in suburban Chicago, and in a singles complex ,plenty of change in my wallet . Sport cars was my prefrence, like a dream life so many could only wish for.........then move forward to today,in my 70’, good health,a nice lady ( did not wants kids ether ) who makes tons of money, life is good,sort of, and yes I do regret not having a normal life with kids and grandchildren............
I think the have/have not kids thinking is highly overrated.
People that have them, sometimes wish they didn’t, and folks that don’t wish that they had. It’s a case of the grass is so much greener in the other fellows yard...It is what it is, live it!
Don’t get me started on Grandchildren, by the time there teenagers you will be lucky if your a passing thought.
Not sure how old you are, but so much changes when we get old, some of it’s physical, some of it’s gray matter rotting, and some of it’s as you say “ the grass is greener “ thing. The other thing is the effect of getting married.......that’s a toss up. I am on my third wife, must have worked ,been hitched 40:years now !
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