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Old 08-28-2011, 12:11 AM
 
Location: California
4,556 posts, read 5,473,472 times
Reputation: 9613

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
Image/appearances. You received your worst punishment when you did something that might reflect badly on your parents or the family as a whole. This was especially prevalent in the military where bad behavior could tank a parent's career.
Military life hasn't changed. My girlfriend's son is a base commander and his daughter's life is totally controlled. I feel sorry for her but she is also pretty spoiled as an only child whose parents are both officers.
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Old 08-28-2011, 07:04 AM
 
Location: State of Superior
8,628 posts, read 13,894,284 times
Reputation: 2770
All family's are dysfunctional to a degree. This is nothing new, , and for the most part , unless there is a family suicide or something close, the behaviors just become commonplace. Just about everyone has a " crazy Uncle" , an" insane Aunt" and or a brother or sister who do not communicate. Often it has a lot do do with genetics, but the way we are razed counts too. The other factor often is those who invade a family via marriage, this I think is the most common.( Brother in laws etc.) How often do you hear about mother in laws being disliked by their son in laws. We all know the drill. Again , nothing new, just the way it is. More often than not we get along with friends better than family..
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Old 08-28-2011, 07:09 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,744,100 times
Reputation: 32304
Default Unintended humor

Quote:
Originally Posted by darstar View Post
Often it has a lot do do with genetics, but the way we are razed counts too...
I got a nice chuckle out of the unintended humor when I thought about us being "razed" (destroyed) by our families as opposed to "raised" (brought up) by them. This does not detract from what I thought was a good and valid post, but I am still smiling.
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Old 08-28-2011, 02:12 PM
 
Location: State of Superior
8,628 posts, read 13,894,284 times
Reputation: 2770
Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
I got a nice chuckle out of the unintended humor when I thought about us being "razed" (destroyed) by our families as opposed to "raised" (brought up) by them. This does not detract from what I thought was a good and valid post, but I am still smiling.
Maybe not be too far off target, ether way !.
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Old 08-28-2011, 03:42 PM
 
Location: Sierra Vista, AZ
16,133 posts, read 20,829,122 times
Reputation: 8293
Neither of my children wanted us around and my mother moved away to live with my sister, who was going to take care of her, so the wife and I bought a small retirement home with a pool. We had no sooner done that when my son arrived verging on Bankruptcy. Next my sister wanted me to take my mother. I was thousands of miles away and they were still yanking my chain.

DON'T LET THEM KNOW WHERE YOU ARE
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Old 08-28-2011, 05:03 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,492,863 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boompa View Post
Neither of my children wanted us around and my mother moved away to live with my sister, who was going to take care of her, so the wife and I bought a small retirement home with a pool. We had no sooner done that when my son arrived verging on Bankruptcy. Next my sister wanted me to take my mother. I was thousands of miles away and they were still yanking my chain.

DON'T LET THEM KNOW WHERE YOU ARE
Not bad advice. Thankfully, all mine are making it on their own but only one could reasonably afford to come here and he has no need for housing. Our entire house probably cost as much of one room in his.
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Old 08-28-2011, 07:33 PM
 
Location: California
4,556 posts, read 5,473,472 times
Reputation: 9613
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boompa View Post
Neither of my children wanted us around and my mother moved away to live with my sister, who was going to take care of her, so the wife and I bought a small retirement home with a pool. We had no sooner done that when my son arrived verging on Bankruptcy. Next my sister wanted me to take my mother. I was thousands of miles away and they were still yanking my chain.

DON'T LET THEM KNOW WHERE YOU ARE

...and buy only a one bedroom house so they can't stay with you!

It seems like some people just don't like others to have any fun.
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Old 08-28-2011, 08:00 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,492,863 times
Reputation: 29076
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heidi60 View Post
...and buy only a one bedroom house so they can't stay with you!

It seems like some people just don't like others to have any fun.
Worse, some seem to resent it!
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Old 08-30-2011, 06:34 AM
 
13,320 posts, read 25,569,771 times
Reputation: 20505
I don't know that "all families are somewhat dysfunctional." A friend of mine had this concept-
"harm-positive" (hurts), "harm-negative" (is a good place) and "harm-neutral" - balanced. I mean, it's one thing to have a crazy aunt or a teenage mother/sister, it's quite another to be sexually abused and beaten.
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Old 08-30-2011, 07:32 AM
 
Location: State of Superior
8,628 posts, read 13,894,284 times
Reputation: 2770
Quote:
Originally Posted by brightdoglover View Post
I don't know that "all families are somewhat dysfunctional." A friend of mine had this concept-
"harm-positive" (hurts), "harm-negative" (is a good place) and "harm-neutral" - balanced. I mean, it's one thing to have a crazy aunt or a teenage mother/sister, it's quite another to be sexually abused and beaten.
There is a lot more too it than that. We will never know just how dysfunctional our extended family is or was. Many things are kept hidden.A little less today , but the ugly lurks in just about all...sorry. ( In retirement many of us have outlived a lot of the bad stuff,. Not only that we have mellowed , but a lot have passed on and took the bad with them , to the grave.)
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