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Old 08-03-2011, 08:10 AM
Location: Center City
6,876 posts, read 7,849,451 times
Reputation: 9526


Taking an external view, I could fall into the trap of seeing you as addicted to work and chaos, but that would be projection. I believe there are people who actually thrive under such circumstances, so I'm a little confused. Since you own your own business, there is no need to stop this pace, is there? Are you looking for more balance in life or is there another factor forcing you to cut back?

Most folks view retirement as all or nothing. In your instance, why not cut back to 70 hours/week to start as a way to gradually wean yourself off of this schedule. But what to do with this new-found time? That depends on you.

If you are looking to actually get off the treadmill, I have a few ideas. As a self-proclaimed Christian, putting aside an hour each day for meditative prayer, reflection and journaling might give you back a bit of a center. At first, it might feel that you are "wasting" time, but if you stick with it, you may find it becomes the most cherished part of your day. If sitting still seems too unnerving to you, then weave this reflection into such activities as gardening, cooking a gourmet meal or going on long walks with your dog through a lovely park. The important thing is to find a task or two that allow you to grow comfortable with being still and accepting that that is an ok way to send time. Don't run away from it if it makes you edgy at first - practice makes perfect.

In addition to (or in lieu of the above), if you wish to simply replace your adrenaline-inducing work life with something similar, there are plenty of church and community associations needing good, business-savvy volunteers. Board work, in particular, can consume as much time as you are willing to give it (no volunteer organization ever says "no" to someone willing to take on more work) and can provide you with the same sorts of deadline-driven projects you find satisfying.

Best of luck.
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Old 08-03-2011, 10:22 PM
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,204 posts, read 8,734,746 times
Reputation: 6253
Smile Thanks for the responses!

I know I need to work on me. Talk about a work in progress!!

It may be because of my limited vision but even when I turned 13, I wrote a poem about leaving childhood (I kept the poem) and I found it recently and thought it was sad but I can remember writing it. Even as an adult, I guess I think too much and you all make some really good points.

To jm02, Pilgrim21784 and imcurious - all very good points and things I should consider - we're not doing this tomorrow but gradually - someday, my FIL will be gone - that will truly be an emptiness for my husband and for the rest of our family as he is the only parent left in our family. When that happens, my husband will need something - maybe go somewhere different for 2 weeks, something like that.

Our faith is important to us; we volunteer at our church regularly and are in a small group that we really enjoy. That has been a blessing and we volunteer with the 4 & 5 year olds and they are wonderful! I wish I could take them all home with me!!

My mother always had tons and tons of friends. Her social life was extremely important to her and made her happy. She was frugal in so many ways but considered herself entitled at the same time. After reading letters she wrote to my father at the time of their courtship, I caught a glimpse of a person in those letters who had dreams and aspirations. She got married and had children, had her friends and seemingly had no desire to work outside of the home. (I know that was her generation too). I have learned so much about her after she's been gone - she was very private about her thoughts, never talked or gossiped but had very strong faith (we knew that) and really was a remarkable woman (2 Master's degrees, married at 34 - in her day, that was late!)

So, part of me does want to have relationships like my mother had. I'm not quite there yet - financially speaking - but I'm working on it.
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