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Old 08-09-2011, 05:01 PM
 
Location: Where the sun likes to shine!!
20,517 posts, read 26,376,283 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tek_Freek View Post
We have living wills, DNRs, power of attorney, etc all set up. My nephew only has to read what we expect and make sure the bills are paid. We will have plenty of money set aside for it all.
My DH and I have the same. We don't want to leave any problems behind for my stepdaughter. It's really sad how so many people don't prepare. I may not care what happens to me when I am gone but I made sure it will be an easy process for those I leave behind
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Old 08-09-2011, 05:05 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,617 posts, read 9,680,515 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post
For those of you who say they "don't care" what is done with their remains, do remember, someone is stuck with your carcass---WTH are they supposed to do with it? short of walking away and not claiming it, they have to do something.

At least CARE enough to leave some sort of instructions, and some funds. don't stiff your family with your remains!

It isn't too expensive to at least get a simple burial policy. Those that say "just" cremate me, well, that option is cheaper, but not free. It cost money, from the minute someone dies, until their remains are desposed of somehow, someway.

Look, my uncle just died yesterday. From the minute he died, its been one cost after another for my cousin and family. Charge to store a dead body in the hospital, then charge to transport it to a funeral home or crematorium, then, charge to cremate, then, charge to transport the remains somewhere, then, charge for a place to stash the ashes, then, transportation for all relatives involved. That doesn't include anything "fancy" like flowers, service, luncheon, hey, it even costs for songs, organist---you pay the fat lady to sing!



I get so tired of people saying oh, don't do anything "fancy" for me, "just" cremate me, well, do you think that's free? Look, my miserable MIL will probably be the next to go, she doesn't have a cent for burial, no life insurance, no "estate" so, guess we will be stuck with the costs? No......we will just walk away, look, we can barely afford to live, let alone bury the dead.

Plan your own damned final expenses, don't think just saying oh, cremate me, takes care of things. As far as I'm concerned, they can throw her carcass in the trash, I have my family, my kids to provide for, their college education, or her carcass? Well, lets think long and hard over that.............its YOUR carcass YOU decide and PAY for its disposal
I guess I am one of those "I don't care..." people, however, I HAVE made arrangements for my final costs. There will be no funeral, no memorial service and no dinner afterward. I will be cremated and buried in the same plot as my little sister, who died at age 3, my niece who died at 1 year and the ashes of my former sis in law are already there. My brothers ashes will be buried next to his wife and my ashes will be next to them. It's a pretty fair sized plot and could accomodate a few of us! As long as they are just ashes. When I told my parents about the "No funeral, etc" my dad got mad at me. He, like lots of people, said that funerals were for the living. I told him that if those "living" couldn't bother staying in touch, come to see me OR send flowers while I'm alive they don't need to after I'm dead either.

I think my dad did it "right". He built the most beautiful box...he was a marvelous wood worker..., divided it in half, put dark blue velvet in it and then made two purple velvet bags with gold ties. One for him and one for Mom. He's "there" and now it waits for Mom. She has it on her dresser. All of HER final costs are taken care of as well.
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Old 08-10-2011, 07:27 AM
 
10,834 posts, read 14,850,338 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post

There is doubtless much I have left out, and I look forward to seeing the gaps filled in.
Here are my experiences with the death of my Father and two Aunts and an Uncle.

Father:
He bought 4 plots for the 4 of us. Two in his name for he and I. Then two more for my sister and my Mother and he put those two in my sister's name. My sibling lives 350 miles away so the issue on that will be transporation after her death, will be needed. This can be expensive whether by airplane or paying the two funeral homes to make the 700 mile round trip and be paid by the mile. We assume her estate will have funds for this.
He did not pay for his own arrangements. He had a health care power of attorney and in that document he said he did not want to donate organs.
Since the will executors could not get access to the financial accounts in time for the funeral, the choices were for one of us to pay on our credit card. My card was maxed out. My sister did not really want to charge several thousand to her card. It turned out that my Mother paid for my Father's funeral though they had been divorced for 30 years and she did not go to the funeral, and they basically were not friends at all. Once we had access to the accounts we paid our Mother back.
We were shocked that the funeral home required the money up front, and would not give us a week or two to pay them. I asked around afterward and the consensus view was that no funeral home makes you pay up front.
We made the decisions on the casket, etc. My sister wanted the standard prodecure. Funeral home visitation, then a service and then the prossession to the cemetery. My Father was in the Navy and they sent two servicemen down and one played taps on a bugle.

Uncle and Aunt Joan:
Same as above, funeral home visitation, service, burial.

Aunt Susan:
Now here we have a very different format and I like this one alot. It makes puts all the emotional aspects into just one event. No funeral home visitation, no service at the church, etc. My Aunt was buried less than 36 hours after death. Maybe my cousins chose this way to save money. But, I think it was an excellent way to do it. One event, burial. The minister was there and there was a very short service. People were asked to verbally share any special stories about the Aunt. Then my Uncle was asked if he wanted to see his wife one last time. He said yes. So, everyone got in line and we passed the casket. My Uncle who could not stand without help, put his finger tips on her cheek and said goodbye.
We all would not have been able to see that happen if the burial had not been done this way.
It lasted maybe 30 minutes and instread of emotions at the funeral home one night. Then more emotion the next day at the church, and then more emotion at the burial, it was all one event.

As far as cremation. I desire that, my Father did not. The funeral home explained that you can have full services and still have cremation. Have the casket at the funeral home for visitation, and even at the cemetery. Once it is over, then return the casket to the funeral home for cremation. Expensive to go that way.

I can pay up front for cremation to lock in today's prices, but if I die out of state or out of country, will my relatives be able to get a refund?
We have two funeral homes and one is 33% lower cost for cremation than the other. Not sure why their cost are so different.
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Old 08-10-2011, 08:32 AM
 
Location: Asheville NC
1,602 posts, read 1,313,371 times
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My parents pre planned and pre payed, their funerals, it was a huge help to us when my father passed away 3 years ago. He was almost 90, a career Marine officer, a strong and loving father and grand father. He was cremated, we had a memorial celebration of his life, filled the chapel with orchids, and celebrated with coffee and brownies, my Dad's favorite. A female cousin, a minister held the service. His ashes were interred in a relatively new veterans cemetary in Sarastoa, FL, where my mom will also be interred. I am very fortunate that all of my siblings get along well, even though we are evenly split on politics and religion. Mom and Dad already put their holdings in a trust evenly split. I do not anticipate any problems at my Mom's passing, Family has always come first. My mom is 88 and going strong. I miss my Dad very much. My husband and I are in our 60's and have decided on cremation, we should go ahead and do some pre planning. We have only one son, who is married, and we have a wonderful g-daughter.
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Old 08-10-2011, 09:19 AM
 
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What I don't understand is why it costs about $150 to cremate a 100lb dog and thousands to cremate a similar size human. Seems you could just stuff your relative in a plastic yard bag, call the animal cremation place and tell them it was Fido. It's a colossal rip off.
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Old 08-10-2011, 09:47 AM
 
10,834 posts, read 14,850,338 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LivingDeadGirl View Post
What I don't understand is why it costs about $150 to cremate a 100lb dog and thousands to cremate a similar size human. Seems you could just stuff your relative in a plastic yard bag, call the animal cremation place and tell them it was Fido. It's a colossal rip off.
We have two funeral homes. One wanted $1800 and the other $1100.
Basic cremation and cardboard container for the leftovers.

However, if the body is not claimed within so many hours or days, the coroner will cremate the body = no cost.

We had a lady die in our neighborhood and they had no money for cremation so they told the coroner to keep her.

My sister and I are on the opposite end of the way to do things. She prefers full service, totally formal.

I liked the way my cousin did for his Mother by having all three emotional events wrapped into one event. There was no funeral home at 6pm, church service at 10am, etc.
It was "cemetery at 2pm" and no emotional roller coaster over 2-3 days.
One event, one emotional event.
And it allowed people, who might have missed the funeral home visitation due to travel, to make plans to be at the cemetery on Sunday.
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Old 08-10-2011, 11:43 AM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,558 posts, read 39,944,045 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by younglisa7 View Post
... a burn pile is much cheaper, lol.
I made sure that my body could be jammed in the woodstove I welded up.

(and I am smaller today )
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Old 08-10-2011, 11:57 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
34,686 posts, read 33,686,426 times
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For those who prepay for a funeral/cremation, how do you know you are going to still be in the same location when that time comes? I've thought about it but what I prepay but then I'm not living in this state at the time I die?
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Old 08-10-2011, 12:30 PM
 
250 posts, read 648,654 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LauraC View Post
For those who prepay for a funeral/cremation, how do you know you are going to still be in the same location when that time comes? I've thought about it but what I prepay but then I'm not living in this state at the time I die?
This is a question I have always wondered about as well.
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Old 08-10-2011, 01:34 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,735,102 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StealthRabbit View Post
I made sure that my body could be jammed in the woodstove I welded up.
(and I am smaller today )
Very practical and frugal, but that would be illegal in every state as far as I know. States require a death certificate in order to be sure that the death was not the result of foul play. The requirement for legal disposal of human remains by licensed practitioners is an attempt to be sure that the death certificate was obtained before disposal. Too much government intrusion? Maybe so, but there is a rationale.
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