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Old 08-15-2011, 06:42 PM
 
Location: southwest TN
8,225 posts, read 14,953,051 times
Reputation: 14983

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles in PGI View Post
I've always believed that most of the time, what you give out is what you get back. Don't expect the community to reach out to you when you hesitate to invest part of yourself in the community.

^^ This is exactly what I believe, too.
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Old 08-15-2011, 07:13 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,698 posts, read 23,696,516 times
Reputation: 35450
Quote:
The work environment re-creates the "tribe" of people we see daily, who form our peer group. We know everyone in our work sphere. Human evolution has led us to be comfortable in groups of around 14-20, if I remember from Anthropology Class. In the nomadic tribes of Africa, it was observed that when the tribe got to about 24 members, it split into 2 tribes. Work, with its strict standards of behavior, allows us to be comfortable with larger groups--but as the company grows large, the smaller work units will become your "tribe" and will compete with--instead of cooperate with--other units of the same company.
Peer group? I never thought of my co-workers as my peer group. Many of the people I worked with would not have been considered by anyone as my peers at least not socially. My peer group was the group of people with whom I socialized after work. People who were of my choosing to be with rather than people I had to be with. Or am I not understanding this statement.

I thought of my co-workers more or less as a team.
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Old 08-15-2011, 08:56 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
34,708 posts, read 33,729,968 times
Reputation: 51976
Too much time is spent planning finances for retirement and not enough time spent planning on living in retirement. The world doesn't revolve around you. People are not going to come out of the woodwork and throw you a party just because you are one of them, now. Figure out the things you like to do and then find the place where you can do them with the desirable quality and frequency and fit in. Some places are better than others for certain activities. Whatever you do, don't move to a place because it's cheap and pretty and the weather is nice thinking you'll figure out the rest of it when you get there. If you stay in place in retirement, start researching now what goes on in your town and county during the daytime when you are currently at work. You might be surprised.
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Old 08-15-2011, 09:13 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,763,041 times
Reputation: 32309
Quote:
Originally Posted by LauraC View Post
Too much time is spent planning finances for retirement and not enough time spent planning on living in retirement. The world doesn't revolve around you. People are not going to come out of the woodwork and throw you a party just because you are one of them, now. Figure out the things you like to do and then find the place where you can do them with the desirable quality and frequency and fit in. Some places are better than others for certain activities. Whatever you do, don't move to a place because it's cheap and pretty and the weather is nice thinking you'll figure out the rest of it when you get there. If you stay in place in retirement, start researching now what goes on in your town and county during the daytime when you are currently at work. You might be surprised.
Yep. One is as important as the other. One without the other is pretty miserable. Some people are lucky and things just fall into place in both departments: life-long frugal habits and a job with a nice pension on the financial side, and interests and circles of friends outside of the workplace on the "living" side. Others are not as lucky and have to work harder at creating one side or the other, or both.
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Old 08-16-2011, 04:01 AM
 
10,391 posts, read 9,403,673 times
Reputation: 16010
Default To Each Their Own

There are people who enjoy their retirement, and there are people who dread retirement. We are all unique, and my motto is: What's right, is what's right for each of us.

Who we are as a person pre-retirement is who we will be during retirement; retirement does not change our personality or our beliefs.

Many enjoy working, not only for the paycheck and benefits, but enjoy the social aspects of being around co-workers. They love the interacting, the company functions, the lunches, etc.

And there are those who dread going to work; are not really into the socializing/lunches.

The latter is where I fit in. From the get-go I wanted to be a 'homemaker'; not a worker in an office or in any other environment. However, due to necessity, I worked until retiring last year.

My dream was to not go to work; to take care of my home; to have the freedom to plan my day and not have a boss or company plan it for me.

I am now 'living the dream' as many say. Bored? I was never one to get bored, even as a child; so why would I get bored now?

Many ask, "But, what do you DO in retirement?"

What I do, is ENJOY retirement. I am not, nor ever have been one who had to be 'doing' something to avoid boredom. And by 'doing', most define it as going on a vacation/cruise/road trip; going shopping; going to the movies; going out to eat....etc., etc.

I can be 'doing' nothing and still be content. And that's the word that describes me, "content".

Some of my friends have the same feelings I do about retirement; and there are others who 'must be doing something' and can't stand being awake from work.

I have talked to some who returned to work because they're bored; but finally admit they're broke and need the money to survive.

I feel for those who do not enjoy their retirement; most of us have worked for many decades and deserve to be kicking back and enjoying the ride.
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Old 08-16-2011, 08:59 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
3,088 posts, read 4,684,223 times
Reputation: 1609
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
Growing up in inner city Chicago neighborhoods, I can remember these neighborhoods had a mixture of older people and younger people. We all seemed to get along and be neighborly. Sometimes kids would be sent over to the older folks apartments to run errands or do little chores. Other times on hot summer nights, everyone, regardless of age, would sit outside and chat until it was cool enough to go back into their apartments to sleep.

There just didn't seem this division between young and old. We were all neighbors and all interacting as neighbors. Nowadays it seems that people are so much more isolated by age grouping. My young great-nephews hardly every see old folks where they live.

I actually prefer living in a community where there is a variety of ages. I value friendships with people of my one age because we can relate to the same things. But I also like to try relate to younger people to get a handle on their point of view of what's happening now.

I would suggest that someone looking for friends and companionship look to people of all ages. You never know who may be your next best friend.
Thanks for your post! My experience, growing up in an inner City Chicago neighborhood was very similar! We were a "community". I'm not at all sure that that kind of neighborhood exists anymore, but we are worse off for the loss of it!
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Old 08-16-2011, 09:20 AM
 
7,341 posts, read 16,662,001 times
Reputation: 4568
Retirement for me is "ok", BUT would be much better if my wife was retired as well, OR for me to have found the RIGHT full-time job so I wouldn't have been forced into SS/Early Retirement! A job like my last one, including a Director/Supervisor with the same nice personality he had! BUT, if I were working a full-time job, I wouldn't be able to get the time off (4 weeks of vacation during the year) like she gets. Neither of us would want to take a vacation without the other one being there!
I pretty much keep myself busy doing things on our computer, cleaning our apartment, running errands that my wife can't because she is at work.
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Old 08-16-2011, 12:54 PM
 
Location: California
4,556 posts, read 5,480,125 times
Reputation: 9623
Okay, so as I stated in an earlier post, I'm reading "How to Survive Your Husband's Retirment". How do you see your relationship change/grow during retirement? Retirement is how we individually, as well as a couple, take this last path so I want it to be the richest time of our lives, even if not monitarily.
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Old 08-16-2011, 01:14 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,698 posts, read 23,696,516 times
Reputation: 35450
Quote:
Originally Posted by katie45 View Post
There are people who enjoy their retirement, and there are people who dread retirement. We are all unique, and my motto is: What's right, is what's right for each of us.

Who we are as a person pre-retirement is who we will be during retirement; retirement does not change our personality or our beliefs.

Many enjoy working, not only for the paycheck and benefits, but enjoy the social aspects of being around co-workers. They love the interacting, the company functions, the lunches, etc.

And there are those who dread going to work; are not really into the socializing/lunches.

The latter is where I fit in. From the get-go I wanted to be a 'homemaker'; not a worker in an office or in any other environment. However, due to necessity, I worked until retiring last year.

My dream was to not go to work; to take care of my home; to have the freedom to plan my day and not have a boss or company plan it for me.

I am now 'living the dream' as many say. Bored? I was never one to get bored, even as a child; so why would I get bored now?

Many ask, "But, what do you DO in retirement?"

What I do, is ENJOY retirement. I am not, nor ever have been one who had to be 'doing' something to avoid boredom. And by 'doing', most define it as going on a vacation/cruise/road trip; going shopping; going to the movies; going out to eat....etc., etc.

I can be 'doing' nothing and still be content. And that's the word that describes me, "content".

Some of my friends have the same feelings I do about retirement; and there are others who 'must be doing something' and can't stand being awake from work.

I have talked to some who returned to work because they're bored; but finally admit they're broke and need the money to survive.

I feel for those who do not enjoy their retirement; most of us have worked for many decades and deserve to be kicking back and enjoying the ride.
I so agree 1000%. In fact I came on the board today to post pretty much this. Except for the homemaker part, this could be me. Not so much a homemaker but I like being at home with my kitty cat a whole lot. Certainly better than working for someone else.

Never bored before so why should I be in retirement? And how many times do younger people have to start over in a new location due to job changes or what have you and find new friends and interests. If one has problems doing this when they are young, it will be a problem when they are old.

For me work was a means to and ends to be able to afford what I really wanted to do. Now that it's gone all I miss is the paycheck and of course a few nice people. We meet up for lunch every so often and when I hear of all the garbage going on that I loathed when I was there I am so glad to be out of that rat race.

The problem I see here is people trying to fit themselves into other people's situtations. The OP stated her friend was unhappy being retired and asked if that was it was all about. Well, yes for her friend but not necessarily for her. We all can't be the same. She should try to seek out her own way of coping with retirement or if she has the opportunity, not retire at all if she likes working.

Traveling during retirement for some is where it's at. Staying home for others is just fine. Hobbies or sitting and watching TV. Or reading a book or golfing. Or volunteering. Works for some not for others.

I think the Senior years should be spent trying to find oneself and stopping the urge for conformity to retiring to someone else's idea of a great retirement.

So what if someone else loves or hates retirement? It's all about how each individual wants to spend the rest of his or her life in the most satisfying way possible.
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