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Old 08-23-2011, 03:13 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,542,742 times
Reputation: 29083

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Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
The main question in my OP is, how are our future plans taking into consideration the whole idea of being/living alone? (again, I'm not talking about loneliness per se, but about living and being physically alone especially in the elderly years). Those in this situation may gain some ideas in this thread.
I guess we're lucky as our little community is very inclusive, helpful and attentive (some might say "nosy") and people watch out for one another because many of us are retired and many are getting up in years (late 70s and 80s).

Were I to be left "alone" I could only be lonely if I allowed myself to be but I learned, following divorce years ago, to enjoy my own company and total control of my environment.

If I ever needed to go into assisted living, so be it although I think the chances are slim. A periodic housekeeper and a lawn service would suit me just fine. I love to cook and am good at it. Give me a library full of books (check!) and I'm a happy camper.

Like Minervah, I was a quiet child and by the time I was about five or six I read voraciously and would lose myself in books which closed out my parents' squabbles and transported me into wonderful adventures - so much so that I'd take a flashlight with me and read under the covers when I was supposed to be asleep and could spend hours on weekend mornings reading while my parents "slept it off."

Everyone is different and while some wish to be close to children, "just in case," I'm not of that mind.

I often said that if they ever tried to put me "in the home" I'd get my pistol, walk out to the peach orchard (Oops! Don't have one) and end my life. It's a plan but has some flaws. It's based upon the assumptions that if the time came I could find the gun, could make it to the peach orchard under my own power and once there, remember why!
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Old 08-23-2011, 05:26 PM
 
250 posts, read 649,719 times
Reputation: 199
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
I guess we're lucky as our little community is very inclusive, helpful and attentive (some might say "nosy") and people watch out for one another because many of us are retired and many are getting up in years (late 70s and 80s).

Were I to be left "alone" I could only be lonely if I allowed myself to be but I learned, following divorce years ago, to enjoy my own company and total control of my environment.

If I ever needed to go into assisted living, so be it although I think the chances are slim. A periodic housekeeper and a lawn service would suit me just fine. I love to cook and am good at it. Give me a library full of books (check!) and I'm a happy camper.

Like Minervah, I was a quiet child and by the time I was about five or six I read voraciously and would lose myself in books which closed out my parents' squabbles and transported me into wonderful adventures - so much so that I'd take a flashlight with me and read under the covers when I was supposed to be asleep and could spend hours on weekend mornings reading while my parents "slept it off."

Everyone is different and while some wish to be close to children, "just in case," I'm not of that mind.

I often said that if they ever tried to put me "in the home" I'd get my pistol, walk out to the peach orchard (Oops! Don't have one) and end my life. It's a plan but has some flaws. It's based upon the assumptions that if the time came I could find the gun, could make it to the peach orchard under my own power and once there, remember why!



LOL in the mean time may you and your wife continue many more happy years in the Ozarks.
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Old 08-23-2011, 06:43 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,698 posts, read 23,717,890 times
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This one's a keeper!

Quote:
I often said that if they ever tried to put me "in the home" I'd get my pistol, walk out to the peach orchard (Oops! Don't have one) and end my life. It's a plan but has some flaws. It's based upon the assumptions that if the time came I could find the gun, could make it to the peach orchard under my own power and once there, remember why!
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Old 08-24-2011, 06:58 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,017,552 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
I often said that if they ever tried to put me "in the home" I'd get my pistol, walk out to the peach orchard (Oops! Don't have one) and end my life. It's a plan but has some flaws. It's based upon the assumptions that if the time came I could find the gun, could make it to the peach orchard under my own power and once there, remember why!
This reminds me so much of my mom (her birthday today) who passed away 3 years ago in her own home. She'd never once seen a doctor since birthing her children and would run well meaning social workers (contacted by us) off her porch and if she'd had a shotgun she would have used it. She often said that if she ever got wind she'd be forced out of her house she would "take herself to the river," though I doubt she knew how to get to it, but I do not doubt she had other means as a backup. My mother lived alone for 30 years after my dad died and she shunned all her former friends. The terrible part is that she wanted her daughters (the 2 close by) to be absolutely everything to her. She walked a lot in her 60s even to get groceries (though she had a car) but as she aged my sister and I had to do her shopping for her, weekly. That would have been time consuming enough, with the other errands added on (we were working FT), but she insisted on coming along and with her age that made a 2-hour trip a 4-hour one. I don't know what she would have done if all of us lived far away. Her situation points up the question in my OP.
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Old 08-24-2011, 08:12 AM
 
Location: Bar Harbor, ME
1,922 posts, read 3,785,399 times
Reputation: 1292
If I ever sell my house, I am moving to a community where there are a lot of retired people. Fully 40% of the place is actually retired. The Senior College is a very tight knit group who is always looking for new members to join them and who cares for the older memebers. The community hospital will be only 5 miles away, and because it has to function in a tourist town that has such things as climbing accidents, its emergency medical services are 2nd to none, which is really what the elderly need the most.

So this has been a consideration for us. In the community that we live now, we have lived her for so long that we know nearly everybody who is my age, and while we aren't knit into it, we are probably more knit into it than we know.

While I am a very strong introvert, I know that I would vegitate if I had to live totally alone. Our original intent of moving to a cabin that we built on 40 acres of land surrounded by many more thousands of acres of land out in the very rural areas of western PA turned out to be a place where we finally realized we could not actual LIVE. There were just not enough people there who were like us.
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Old 08-29-2011, 09:03 AM
 
Location: Metro DC
35 posts, read 62,203 times
Reputation: 51
Here is an interesting article along lines of OP's question:

Single and seriously ill: Care circles fill in for family - TODAY Health - TODAY.com
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