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Old 08-17-2011, 10:46 PM
 
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I doubt I'm the only person who doesn't think of alone/etc. in terms of "family" or distance from same. Maybe it's because I never felt OK in my family of origin and don't mind the death of one, distance of another, and estrangement from the third.
Regarding old-fashioned communities (if they did exist) I think the advent of universal car ownership and work being distant, super highways and three-car garages has all cut into "community." In the past, the businesses in your area were owned by people in your area. Everyone didn't get into a car alone and drive for an hour to some corporation off a suburban highway. Now, I wouldn't look to recreate a town scene of people all walking down to the paper mill and leaving when the factory whistle blows, but with mobility comes distance and the chance of little connection.
WHere I live now, I have no idea how to "belong" even after 18 years. I work third shift, my house isn't even on the road, I'm not from there, I don't have kids in the schools. I do have a thought of, when I'm not working third shift all week and sleeping the rest of the time, trying to be involved in something in the town- Historical Society? Conservation Commission? It's weird to realize I've lived here longer than some of the selectmen but only know people from whom I've bought services or who work in local stores and businesses (and there are still some local businesses, although the new Toyota dealership looks like something beamed in from Mars).
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Old 08-18-2011, 12:12 AM
 
6,034 posts, read 13,150,346 times
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Originally Posted by Happy in Wyoming View Post
Assuming that this is a serious post which is hard to believe...
Totally serious. Got a few positive reps for my post, too. Just because a couple plans for their old age doesn't mean they aren't also enjoying every minute of their present time together. I think what's really sad is when people don't plan for the future. You make it seem like that's all we do, though. That's silly.

There's one assisted living facility near us that is right along the river bike trail that my hubby and I love to ride. You can sit there and watch Great Blue Heron, Bald and golden Eagles, lots of other birds and wildlife... sweet little turtles sunning themselves. We like that place. We feel like if we were to ever get to a place where we couldn't live on our own easily, or we were becoming too much trouble for our kids and grandkids, we'd definitely consider that place. And we can go from riding our bikes along that trail to racing our scooters. And when we can't even do our scooters anymore we'll just sit and watch the birds and listen to the river. And those memories will be so happy. And when it's just one of us left, we'll still be happy when we think of all the fun times we shared there.

Last edited by haggardhouseelf; 08-18-2011 at 12:21 AM..
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Old 08-18-2011, 12:25 AM
 
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How about a robotic baby seal for comfort and companionship? "Researchers in Japan have developed a robot in the shape of a seal that they say can provide physical and emotional support to the sick and elderly." They are so cute. BBC News - Japan develops robotic seals to comfort sick and elderly
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Old 08-18-2011, 01:00 AM
 
Location: Austin, TX
326 posts, read 674,955 times
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Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
Do go visit her, please, despite the unfortunate suspicions which she has. You have a genuine feeling for this elderly lady, with fond and deep memories of past good times. When she asked you why you came to visit, I'm sure you must have explained that it was out of genuine friendship. She has had time to think about that, and who knows, she may have accepted it by now.
Thank you. DH has been saying the same thing. I will probably write to her before making a trip, and let her know that I sincerely just want to be there for her as a friend. I'll probably tell her some of our financial situation and tell her that we are doing just fine and I don't want any more than what we have.

Both of us will probably more relaxed when we meet again if we clear out this topic ahead of time.

When I was driving back to the airport after the last visit, I could not help but thought that she probably was worried and waited for 3 days for the moment that I'd ask for money or things. Or she might have started trying to figure out the purpose of my trip the day I told her I was going. I will not put her through that again if I do go this year. I think I will go because I just can not let our friendship/memories end like this.

Thank you again for your kind words and encouragement.
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Old 08-18-2011, 06:28 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,011,439 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haggardhouseelf View Post
How about a robotic baby seal for comfort and companionship? "Researchers in Japan have developed a robot in the shape of a seal that they say can provide physical and emotional support to the sick and elderly." They are so cute. BBC News - Japan develops robotic seals to comfort sick and elderly
I don't know about the robot, but pets are certainly more and more important as many of us age. Especially if we live alone. The problem of course is caring for them properly. Many a pet is not walked regularly or fed the best. An older person's pet can feel sad and trapped. Any younger person who volunteers to walk an elderly neighbor's pet is terrific. Across the street from me two old ladies, sisters, live together. They have birds of some kind (must be a parrot or two and something else, a dove?) and you can hear them imitating the birds and "talking" to them affectionately on summer days. (Is this what I'm headed for??? )
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Old 08-18-2011, 07:26 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,534,226 times
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Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
I don't know about the robot, but pets are certainly more and more important as many of us age. Especially if we live alone. The problem of course is caring for them properly. Many a pet is not walked regularly or fed the best. An older person's pet can feel sad and trapped. Any younger person who volunteers to walk an elderly neighbor's pet is terrific. Across the street from me two old ladies, sisters, live together. They have birds of some kind (must be a parrot or two and something else, a dove?) and you can hear them imitating the birds and "talking" to them affectionately on summer days. (Is this what I'm headed for??? )
You could do worse. Pets are more polite and attentive than all too many people anymore. Cats permit you to think you're in charge, dogs are always happy to see you and birds may be able to converse more intelligently than many humans.
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Old 08-18-2011, 07:34 AM
 
1,369 posts, read 1,777,476 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haggardhouseelf View Post
How about a robotic baby seal for comfort and companionship? "Researchers in Japan have developed a robot in the shape of a seal that they say can provide physical and emotional support to the sick and elderly." They are so cute. BBC News - Japan develops robotic seals to comfort sick and elderly
Pet robots have actually been around for a while. Don't laugh, but at times I have seriously (almost) thought of buying a Pleo:

Pleo's Emotions (http://www.pleoworld.com/Discover/Emotions.aspx - broken link)
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Old 08-18-2011, 10:41 AM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
6,956 posts, read 7,406,670 times
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Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
Does anyone here discuss with other family members your options and what would happen if you decided to move elsewhere...like would they want you to come back in very old age? In other words, did/do you discuss options about the latter years, or is that too difficult to do with family members (who may or may not want to be there for you)?
I feel the same as loveautumn when it comes to famiy making those decisions. It's sad, but true. I saw how they were when my mom got sick - they could hardly wait for her to die so they could get some of her $$. Totally disgusting.

My ex husband stopped by recently and I asked him to be the executor of my will. As odd as it is, he is the one selfless person I would trust. He's happy to do it.
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Old 08-18-2011, 10:38 PM
 
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Maybe the OP couple has already decided not to have children?
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Old 08-18-2011, 10:56 PM
 
6,034 posts, read 13,150,346 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by C2ShiningC View Post
Pet robots have actually been around for a while. Don't laugh, but at times I have seriously (almost) thought of buying a Pleo:

Pleo's Emotions (http://www.pleoworld.com/Discover/Emotions.aspx - broken link)
Oh he is cool! I lean more toward the furry/cuddly/soft companions, though. And honestly - why should we have to wait until we're older to have such a friend?
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