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Old 08-14-2011, 06:44 PM
 
Location: earth?
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. . . Most people as being shallow, or maybe you too are shallow?

What is your opinion about the shallowness/deepness of the people you have personally known?

I find most people I have met and who are in my family to be shallow.

I would like to be able to connect with people deeply, but most people seem to not want that.

I am aware, when talking to people, that the conversations, for politeness sake, are mainly kept to very shallow levels . . . I notice a lot of things going on at deeper levels, but often don't comment on what I notice because I sense that people "can't go there."

In your long life, what have you noticed in this area?


Last edited by imcurious; 08-14-2011 at 07:39 PM..

 
Old 08-14-2011, 07:21 PM
 
Location: Sierra Vista, AZ
16,133 posts, read 20,844,095 times
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Perhaps I am too shallow to understand the question
 
Old 08-14-2011, 07:36 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,001,270 times
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That a person chooses not to "talk deeply" with you is no indication that s/he is shallow. That's an assumption that cannot be made. Many very intelligent, creative people with lives loaded with "meaning" keep their cards close to their chest and do not want to talk indiscriminately with just anyone. Or, they simply do not wish to talk.
 
Old 08-14-2011, 07:40 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 10,871,868 times
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Let me rephrase the question:

What has YOUR experience been (not your theories) in terms of people being shallow or deep related to your conversations and daily interactions.
 
Old 08-14-2011, 07:42 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,001,270 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
Let me rephrase the question:

What has YOUR experience been (not your theories) in terms of people being shallow or deep related to your conversations and daily interactions.
That has been my experience, all my life, really.
 
Old 08-14-2011, 08:15 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
3,088 posts, read 4,684,223 times
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My experience is that those people who are both "deep", and willing to discuss deep topics, tend to be very selective about who they "share" with. I value those people who allow me to see the depth, and feel honored. I believe that I honor those who I choose to share with on that level.
 
Old 08-14-2011, 09:27 PM
 
Location: Prospect, KY
5,288 posts, read 17,974,515 times
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Our family and friends are anything but shallow.
 
Old 08-15-2011, 02:10 AM
 
12,760 posts, read 14,110,686 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cattknap View Post
Our family and friends are anything but shallow.
Oh were that true!

My mother lived emotionally as a spoiled, undisciplined twelve year old her whole life; my father was, by and large, an eighteen year old corner boy and bully. Very deep, the both of them.

In the smalltown macho culture of his era, my father had lots of company. My mother, unfortunately, was considered a royal PIA even by the people she socialized with. Times without number I had her friends say to me with a sigh, "Well, you know how your mother is." Oh, yes.

One of her sisters, on the other hand, was a very caring and intelligent person who had learned a great deal from life. If not for her, I probably would have ended up in the children's home of detention.

Being a parent, clergyman, teacher, political leader, etc.....these roles don't automatically confer wisdom or kindness. Some are shallow, some are deep; some are good, some are bad. Understanding and accepting that fact, instead of dealing in sentimental stereotypes is part of growing up, I believe.

Lovely, if one's parents were/are thoughtful, reflective folks; and hell if they are not. In either case, our job is to soldier on.
 
Old 08-15-2011, 02:20 AM
 
Location: Florida
19,846 posts, read 19,943,516 times
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#3 and #6
It takes a certain amount of trust to share your inner thoughts/feelings and a connection with somebody to even want to spend the time and energy for 'deep' conversations.
 
Old 08-15-2011, 04:09 AM
 
13,334 posts, read 25,596,053 times
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I seem to be very good (or doomed) to have people easily tell me relatively deep things. (So, I decided I might as well make a living at it!). Now, sometimes people just aren't thinking much deep, or aren't telling me about it. But mostly, I think people are fearful, don't want to be embarrassed/exposed, don't realize that someone might actually listen with a real ear.
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