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Old 08-18-2011, 07:03 AM
 
7,342 posts, read 16,678,483 times
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I had one of those types of jobs as well!

I REALLY liked my job, my Director/Supervisor and my salary. It wasn't a high salary, but was fine with wife and I. Had my own office/computer. I drove 28 mi each way to work and that was fine, except during the winter/snow/cold months. For my job, which can sometimes require a Degree and Certification, I didn't have either, but was still hired. After 4 1/2 yrs, I had to "throw in the towel" as my wife did as well where she worked. During that 4 1/2 yrs, I had a hip replacement and rotator cuff surgery. Neither of the surgeries affected me on the job, but the rotator cuff surgery was due to a fall in snow/ice! The cold weather also caused pain in both the hip and shoulder at times. And, I didn't want to fall again or have my wife fall, so we knew we had to move away from the "snowbelt" of Denver, CO metro.
After leaving that job, I never found a comparitable job or salary. Early 60's was right around the corner and that was affecting my job search as well.
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Old 08-18-2011, 07:12 AM
 
Location: delaware
688 posts, read 866,912 times
Reputation: 2367
i've been retired 8 years and i don't know that i ever felt an overwhelming need to explain what i do in so-called retirement. also, over the course of 8 years, what i have become involved in has evolved and changed. now, if people seem truly interested, i usually say that i am a retired social worker, and i'm fortunate that in retirement i've pursued some interests that i didn't have time to explore in earlier years, such as writing , self-publishing some books, and teaching adults in a continuing education program. although i enjoyed some of the jobs that i had over the almost 40 years that i worked, i never felt that social work was a calling or that it was the perfect career match, ; i've found that some of the interest areas i've pursued since stopping work full time might have offered me a more fulfilling career than at least some of the social work positions. so, at this point in time, i'm grateful for these new opportunities and am always happy to discuss such possibilities with those who are not yet retired.
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Old 08-18-2011, 07:53 AM
 
819 posts, read 1,366,492 times
Reputation: 1405
When I was getting ready to retire 10 years ago, one of my husband's co-workers asked me what my retirement plans were. I responded by saying that I was going to sit around in my underwear and drink beer. (I don't even drink beer.) Anyway, any time my husband has any contact with his former co-worker the guy always asks if I'm still enjoying sitting around drinking beer. I don't think he wants a mental picture of me in my underwear!

Bottom line, when people asks me what I do, I generally say whatever I want to!


Wrong answer, what I say to people who is not retired - just wait, the best is yet to come.
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Old 08-18-2011, 09:48 AM
 
Location: Toronto, Ottawa Valley & Dunedin FL
1,409 posts, read 2,360,348 times
Reputation: 1159
This thread resonates with me in two ways (I'll post the other way separately). I've been retired for 3 years now, although the first year I was in denial (I had been laid off.) My husband just stopped working this summer, and will continue to do some contract work for a couple of years, but we are mostly retired.

I do feel pressure to come up with something important to do with my time. For a while I did ESL tutoring, which is very fulfilling, but I can't do this with consistency any more because we move between 3 houses during the year (up at our summer cottage right now.)

I have a list of things that I want to do: start practicing the piano which I have long-neglected; learn Spanish properly, not just the basics; learn a programming language (something easy like Python); exercise a lot more and get myself as physically fit as I can.

I have only accomplished the last one--well, I'm part way there (after 60, it's an uphill battle just to maintain what you have in terms of fitness..)

But the other goals, ones that I could brag about, elude me. Guess if I really wanted to brag, I could say I wanted to learn an endangered language, or learn the bagpipes, or learn calculus or something. So I don't have a lot to brag about, but I'm very happy.

On the other hand, my brother...next post.
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Old 08-18-2011, 09:55 AM
 
Location: Toronto, Ottawa Valley & Dunedin FL
1,409 posts, read 2,360,348 times
Reputation: 1159
My brother just retired about 6 months ago, although he is still consulting, and may take a full-time job next year for a couple of years.

But for now, he's in a new city, new house. He has his wife (much younger), and his stepdaughter. He has his big-screen TV and his nice car and his motorcycle. He has children flung across the continent who he seems very seldom.

We have discussed the fact that he's bored to tears. We have explored all the things that he could be doing, and nothing interests him. Only thing he would really do if he could would be to garden (vegetables mostly), but all he has is a deck with some planters on it.

He has no friends, and really doesn't know how to make friends. He's stuck out in the suburbs without the usual urban entertainments like cafes, restaurants. All he has is a huge mall area about a mile from his house.

He doesn't want to learn a language or a musical instrument, take a course, exercise, bicycle. He tends to read solely science fiction/fantasy. He does watch a lot of Home and Garden TV, and documentaries--nature, history. He's an intelligent, educated man.

But he's obviously very unhappy. He has no contentment; he is still driven, and has many demons. I have tried to help him, but I can't seem to reach him. I assume there are many men like him.
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Old 08-18-2011, 10:47 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,552,600 times
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How about this for a response: "Oh! You're not retired also? Sorry about that!"

As for your brother, Wwanderer, it sounds like he needs a life and that has to come from within.

I assume there are a lot of women like that as well.
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Old 08-23-2011, 12:04 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,698 posts, read 23,726,563 times
Reputation: 35455
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wwanderer View Post
My brother just retired about 6 months ago, although he is still consulting, and may take a full-time job next year for a couple of years.

But for now, he's in a new city, new house. He has his wife (much younger), and his stepdaughter. He has his big-screen TV and his nice car and his motorcycle. He has children flung across the continent who he seems very seldom.

We have discussed the fact that he's bored to tears. We have explored all the things that he could be doing, and nothing interests him. Only thing he would really do if he could would be to garden (vegetables mostly), but all he has is a deck with some planters on it.

He has no friends, and really doesn't know how to make friends. He's stuck out in the suburbs without the usual urban entertainments like cafes, restaurants. All he has is a huge mall area about a mile from his house.

He doesn't want to learn a language or a musical instrument, take a course, exercise, bicycle. He tends to read solely science fiction/fantasy. He does watch a lot of Home and Garden TV, and documentaries--nature, history. He's an intelligent, educated man.

But he's obviously very unhappy. He has no contentment; he is still driven, and has many demons. I have tried to help him, but I can't seem to reach him. I assume there are many men like him.
He does not sound as if he would be a very happy person no matter what he was or was not involved in. His few activities don't make him happy but that may be because he just does not want or is not capable of being happy.

I don't think it is only men who are like this. I hope you can convince him to get some counseling or other professional help because this sounds like a depressive state to me.
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Old 08-23-2011, 01:57 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,785,397 times
Reputation: 32309
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wwanderer View Post
I have a list of things that I want to do:....; exercise a lot more and get myself as physically fit as I can.

I have only accomplished the last one--well, I'm part way there (after 60, it's an uphill battle just to maintain what you have in terms of fitness..)
Good for you with the fitness goals! I have read quite a bit on the science behind exercise in later life, and it's hard to overstate the importance of it for health and general well-being. It's true the gains come slowly after 60 (more or less). I resumed exercise at age 61 after a lay-off of about 12 years. I would say keep at it but don't worry too much about getting better. You can still make a lot of gains at your age, but they will come slowly. Even if you just "maintain" you are way ahead of the couch potatoes. Keep up the good work!
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Old 08-23-2011, 02:04 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,785,397 times
Reputation: 32309
Default Post-retirement funk more common in men?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wwanderer View Post
My brother just retired about 6 months ago, although he is still consulting, and may take a full-time job next year for a couple of years.

But for now, he's in a new city, new house. He has his wife (much younger), and his stepdaughter. He has his big-screen TV and his nice car and his motorcycle. He has children flung across the continent who he seems very seldom.

We have discussed the fact that he's bored to tears. We have explored all the things that he could be doing, and nothing interests him. Only thing he would really do if he could would be to garden (vegetables mostly), but all he has is a deck with some planters on it.

He has no friends, and really doesn't know how to make friends. He's stuck out in the suburbs without the usual urban entertainments like cafes, restaurants. All he has is a huge mall area about a mile from his house.

He doesn't want to learn a language or a musical instrument, take a course, exercise, bicycle. He tends to read solely science fiction/fantasy. He does watch a lot of Home and Garden TV, and documentaries--nature, history. He's an intelligent, educated man.

But he's obviously very unhappy. He has no contentment; he is still driven, and has many demons. I have tried to help him, but I can't seem to reach him. I assume there are many men like him.
As other posters have said, this post-retirement funk is not limited to men, but I maintain it is more common to men because men are more likely to have their self-esteem tied to their work and are more likely to make their work more or less their entire focus in life. Then when the work is no longer there, they are lost.

I always had outside interests and friends who were not connected to the workplace, but I do feel sorry for those like your brother. You have done your best to lead the horse to water, but you cannot make him drink.
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Old 08-23-2011, 02:13 PM
 
Location: East Bangor, PA
126 posts, read 215,333 times
Reputation: 89
I do sort of hesitate to talk about my retirement here at work, because I qualified for a retirement package, and have a date of March 1. I don't like to make people feel bad, because lots of others would love to be "short". But sometimes I can't help it, because I'm excited, and also there is planning for transitioning my tasks. But everyone is very nice about it and wishes me well.

But there are some people who say, "What will you DO all day? Won't you be bored?" I can never understand that! I just say, "Are you kidding?!"
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