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Old 09-02-2014, 09:50 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,667 posts, read 74,628,627 times
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people breakup its in their nature.
the good news if you dont marry you take your cash with you when you are put out on the curb LOL
this has been a sneak political announcement by the men's liberation front
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Old 09-02-2014, 10:42 PM
 
Location: too far from the sea
19,841 posts, read 18,861,423 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
people breakup its in their nature.
the good news if you dont marry you take your cash with you when you are put out on the curb LOL
this has been a sneak political announcement by the men's liberation front
Yeh, well that may be true for some, but from the women's side, I've seen more men end up with a lot while the women gets practically nothing. I've seen divorced women end up on welfare with the kid while the ex is living in the family home with his girlfriend. I've seen men get really good lawyers and hide assets from the wife and she gets almost nothing. It works both ways. People get mean. From the equal rights person.
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Old 09-03-2014, 09:26 AM
 
2,421 posts, read 3,724,705 times
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From a financial standpoint, it is usually harder on the woman. A man will usually re-marry. Just the way it is. Lots of available younger woman available looking for a husband, and men generally don't want to be single long after being married. A woman, especially an older woman is not a commodity as is her male counterpart, and too often remains unmarried and living only on 1/2 of the income.

So, though this sounds harsh, I am afraid it is the reality. There are of course exceptions, but I'm talking percentages here. This is coming from a woman by the way. I really feel it depends on the level of miserableness, and the degree of financial duress it will cause. If the miserableness is tolerable and the degree of financial duress is great, you may think twice. If on the other hand the miserableness is no longer tolerable, then even near poverty can be better.
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Old 09-07-2014, 08:06 AM
 
Location: State of Superior
8,628 posts, read 13,892,617 times
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Boy, this maybe the longest runing thread ever ! I have been out of the loop for a while,with many distractions , most involved lifestyle changes planing for Snowbird living. This past winter has done me in , 8 months of winter is just too much......all that said , little has changed in my relationship and my contuing frustrations . I guess this winter could be interesting living together for three-four months with an estranged spouse in the close quarters of a motor coach.......in New Mexico!! . Interesting comment from my doctor during my annual check up. " you may want to consider getting a mistress" , that was a surprise to me coming from an otherwise conservative medical person. Interesting thought! and I agree maybe I should , sounds welcoming !
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Old 09-07-2014, 10:17 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,487,261 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold View Post
This could fit the case where the wife does say..."I've been telling you this for years" and the husbands befuddled reply is " All these years I thought you were just nagging"
Call me "Clueless." This was very much the dynamic when the ex told me she was leaving me after 25 years. She did so a week later while I was on a business trip and I returned to an empty house and empty bank accounts with $27 to my name that had to last me three weeks until I got paid.

Fool that I was because I though I till loved her and conditioned as I had become as the sole breadwinner to take care of her I attempted to see to it in settlement that she was provided for while she was trying to wring every future dollar I ever made out of me in spousal and child support for our two youngest daughters. Thankfully I discovered that she had moved her boyfriend, whom she'd met six months before, in with her and our daughters long before the divorce became final. I say "thankfully" because it was at that point I no longer wanted reconciliation and began to protect myself in settlement.

In the end I couldn't wait for the divorce to become final. That process took two years until I bifurcated the issues of divorce and settlement, the latter of which took a total of five years. I walked away pretty much fleeced but freer and happier than I'd been in at least a decade. By the time I was finally open to a social life I'd been living like a monk for two and a half years.

In the end I felt like sending her a thank you card for leaving me, but didn't.
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Old 09-07-2014, 10:30 AM
 
8,858 posts, read 5,136,100 times
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What an interesting read this thread was.

I divorced at age 40, after 18 years of marriage. We did not use lawyers. I proposed the property settlement. It favored him, and he was happy to accept it.

I don't regret it at all. It was a miserable marriage and unfixable. I'm glad it is over. There is more to life than money.
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Old 09-07-2014, 10:35 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,759 posts, read 7,038,572 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by in_newengland View Post
Yeh, well that may be true for some, but from the women's side, I've seen more men end up with a lot while the women gets practically nothing. I've seen divorced women end up on welfare with the kid while the ex is living in the family home with his girlfriend. I've seen men get really good lawyers and hide assets from the wife and she gets almost nothing. It works both ways. People get mean. From the equal rights person.


Puts me in mind of the old saying about the thin line between love and hate. Maybe it's true. Some folks react to rejection with the ongoing rage of a fire-breathing dragon, and they're determined to ruin the other partner any way they can. I think that goes both ways, I've seen both men and women left with practically nothing.
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Old 09-07-2014, 11:38 AM
 
3,132 posts, read 1,724,698 times
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Quote:
If on the other hand the miserableness is no longer tolerable, then even near poverty can be better.
short of emotional/physical abuse, how bad should miserableness be before it becomes intolerable? an example scenario would be easier to understand.
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Old 09-07-2014, 12:05 PM
 
Location: State of Superior
8,628 posts, read 13,892,617 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia 100 View Post
What an interesting read this thread was.

I divorced at age 40, after 18 years of marriage. We did not use lawyers. I proposed the property settlement. It favored him, and he was happy to accept it.

I don't regret it at all. It was a miserable marriage and unfixable. I'm glad it is over. There is more to life than money.
Divorice is ALL about money. The older you are and the longer you were married makes for almost impossible fair settlements for both sides. Things maybe changing as more and more couples maintain seperate finunatual matters. ( equality in the work force and in earning power)........considering this thread is about over 50 separations , children are not a factor, in fact they can be helpful once they become older and can now help the same parents that devoted so much of their life caring for them. ( in a more perfect world)

For those of us that were equal partners in a successfull business for many years, and continue to be when one is a bit older retired and the younger one is still stacking up the profits so they both can live according to what they created together.......it gets real sticky, and requires much openness and understanding on both sides. ....... I see this all the time with friends in the past. It IS posable to continue in business together and be divoriced but it's not easy.
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Old 09-07-2014, 12:42 PM
 
1,214 posts, read 1,355,980 times
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Although I am happier, I am living the life of separation at 60 after being married for 18 years. I find it beyond belief that the person who promised to love and cherish can be so vicious and mean to the person whom he promised to love and cherish. I was the younger one continuing to work while he was retired. Rather than using his time to better the marriage, he chose to have an affair for years, without my knowledge of course, with a woman twenty years younger than he. Less than a month after I put him out, she dumped him. I told him before I asked/told him to leave that young women who sleep with old married men don't want them around everyday.
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