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Old 08-31-2011, 06:25 AM
 
5,822 posts, read 13,312,141 times
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Divorce at 50, cost me a bundle between alimony (thankfully she married again), paid all the debts, $35K in lawyers, half my military retirement, etc. Two grown sons don't speak to me.

Was it worth it? You bet! Should have done it sooner. Met and married my best friend, we are financially in great shape, have a great life.
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Old 08-31-2011, 06:37 AM
 
Location: New Orleans Louisiana
156 posts, read 351,990 times
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We got divorced approximately 5 years ago(just after Katrina) after being married 24 years. I was 54 and she was 59. I couldn't believe how easy it was. I went to the law office and signed my name 3 times I think. We had already sold our house after Katrina so it was a simple divorce. We both moved into rentals. I was watching football most weekends and playing golf. Never even went by my pool at the complex. The wild single life I had always wondered about never materialized lol. Fast forward to now. We actually bought another house together. I hated apartment life after owning our own home for so long. She is retired so she is home all day...I still work so I am gone all day lol...it seems to work right now (except when I get home and she follows me around for the first 30 minutes telling me what she did all day...she reminds me of Gracie Allen lol)...and besides...I got my own bath and bedroom out of the deal(on the other side of the house)...sort of like "War of the Roses".. without the war. We have a joint account which we each contribute to each month for all home expenses but also keep our own separate accounts.
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Old 08-31-2011, 06:44 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,969,510 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greatblueheron View Post
This happened because I chose:

NOT to fight every step of the process or every dime, NOT to allow atty direction-which included fighting for more money-which would cost me MORE money to pay the atty

And NOT to create a huge drama. Husb and I worked out possessions etc with no mediation.

When I said I made it and so can you...I mean surviving the ordeal and coming to a great place afterwards...not necessarily about money.

Sounds like you are very wise to have done things this way. Good advice. (BTW, I've personally been through it).
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Old 08-31-2011, 06:50 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,969,510 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GregoryS View Post
We got divorced approximately 5 years ago(just after Katrina) after being married 24 years. I was 54 and she was 59. I couldn't believe how easy it was. I went to the law office and signed my name 3 times I think. We had already sold our house after Katrina so it was a simple divorce. We both moved into rentals. I was watching football most weekends and playing golf. Never even went by my pool at the complex. The wild single life I had always wondered about never materialized lol. Fast forward to now. We actually bought another house together. I hated apartment life after owning our own home for so long. She is retired so she is home all day...I still work so I am gone all day lol...it seems to work right now (except when I get home and she follows me around for the first 30 minutes telling me what she did all day...she reminds me of Gracie Allen lol)...and besides...I got my own bath and bedroom out of the deal(on the other side of the house)...sort of like "War of the Roses".. without the war. We have a joint account which we each contribute to each month for all home expenses but also keep our own separate accounts.
This is a really interesting situation. So you never legally remarried? Are you now "a couple" or more like housemates? Are you each leaving each other anything (or to the kids, if you have them)?
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Old 08-31-2011, 07:06 AM
 
Location: Las Flores, Orange County, CA
26,346 posts, read 82,977,020 times
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I am a guy and I am the only income earner in the house and only I contribute to our 401(k) and our two Roth IRAs. One thing I'd like to point out is if one spouse is at home taking care of the house and kids and the other is contributing to the 401(k) it isn't really one person's 401(k), it is both of yours. So writing "my 401(k)" isn't really fair. Should be "our 401(k)".
If you two split, the spouse deserves half (or whatever) of that 401(k).
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Old 08-31-2011, 07:37 AM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
27,093 posts, read 5,882,815 times
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Charles.....many states are 50/50 in this way


Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles View Post
I am a guy and I am the only income earner in the house and only I contribute to our 401(k) and our two Roth IRAs. One thing I'd like to point out is if one spouse is at home taking care of the house and kids and the other is contributing to the 401(k) it isn't really one person's 401(k), it is both of yours. So writing "my 401(k)" isn't really fair. Should be "our 401(k)".
If you two split, the spouse deserves half (or whatever) of that 401(k).
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Old 08-31-2011, 07:48 AM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,612 posts, read 9,676,241 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
I'm interested in hearing stories about couples over the age of 55 or 60+ who divorce. The reasons, the difficulties (emotional and financial), the pluses despite difficulties, and thoughts in general. Did anyone hesitate to divorce due to age? How was retirement impacted? Resources, advice, etc.
I divorced at 54. No problems with "emotional" side of things but financially I took a big hit. Only because it made it impossible for me to fully retire and I will always have to work at least part time to make it. But it's okay. We had already sold everything and split the assets so that was no problem either. I didn't WANT to divorce but when your husband says "I just doesn't want to be married anymore" what can you do? You wish him luck and say "Adios", which is what I did.

I got a 'do it yourself' divorce so all I had to pay were filing fees. Very simple, easy and cheap.

The "pluses" of the divorce are that I am quite happy being on my own and independent, even though I have to work harder at being that way. I'll never remarry and am not interested in any type of 'relationship'. I have no BIG 'expectations' of myself, my life or my future but I am content with all of it.
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Old 08-31-2011, 08:16 AM
 
Location: Connecticut is my adopted home.
2,276 posts, read 3,077,821 times
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I read this thread out of curiosity. What happens to long term marriages at this stage of life? Where these troubled relationships that had well outlived their life and were held together to launch children and the like or does something happen in midlife to couples? Inquiring minds....
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Old 08-31-2011, 10:36 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,969,510 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AK-Cathy View Post
I read this thread out of curiosity. What happens to long term marriages at this stage of life? Where these troubled relationships that had well outlived their life and were held together to launch children and the like or does something happen in midlife to couples? Inquiring minds....
Interesting questions. I'm sure there are as many answers as there are divorces.
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Old 08-31-2011, 11:15 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,471,910 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AK-Cathy View Post
I read this thread out of curiosity. What happens to long term marriages at this stage of life? Where these troubled relationships that had well outlived their life and were held together to launch children and the like or does something happen in midlife to couples? Inquiring minds....
YES! LOL! There's like some element in those scenarios, and many more, in most of them.

In my case we grew apart and ceased to have anything in common but the children, and children can be the worst reason to hold a marriage together; especially when it becomes toxic which ours did.
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