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Old 08-30-2011, 05:32 PM
 
Location: New England
11,312 posts, read 7,156,592 times
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Default Divorce Over the Age of 55-60

I'm interested in hearing stories about couples over the age of 55 or 60+ who divorce. The reasons, the difficulties (emotional and financial), the pluses despite difficulties, and thoughts in general. Did anyone hesitate to divorce due to age? How was retirement impacted? Resources, advice, etc.
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Old 08-30-2011, 05:40 PM
 
Location: Hills & Hollers of SW MO
18,287 posts, read 14,436,231 times
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Is 50 OK? Emotionally devastating after 25 year. Lost everything I owned plus 50% of my accrued retirement funds. Paid child and spousal support to the tune of about $2,000 a month. Nasty!

Now the good news. I was rid of her. No hesitation. One of the better things I ever did for myself!
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Old 08-30-2011, 05:46 PM
 
Location: Las Flores, Orange County, CA
26,365 posts, read 51,646,460 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
the pluses
Do I have good news for you.

Yippee!

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Old 08-30-2011, 06:48 PM
 
2,322 posts, read 1,630,432 times
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mine was not a happy marriage, so i feel a sense of freedom.

is lonely. am trying to find a place in the community. and reaching out to like minded folks. so it should all work out sooner or later

but i would do it again, only sooner

finances are a personal issue based upon your legal arrangements so i can't help there
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Old 08-30-2011, 06:51 PM
 
5,502 posts, read 3,810,313 times
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Divorced after 23 yrs... 50 at the time. Emotionally devastated...recovery time several yrs. No children.

BUT I had a plan and stuck to it:
NO WAY was I going to court. (too much $ and too heartbreaking)....I kept my mouth shut-said nothing untoward about HIM....we had few arguments....I focused on my future; did have an atty, but from the get-go informed her: no court battle for any reason. Not even for more $.

So, by doing the 2 above, I got out for $2000 when my friends were spending up to $60,000; also ended the marriage on generally good terms...we can now talk on the phone on rare occasions and laugh and snicker...

Fast forward: Now I am happier than ever, sold my home and moved to an east coast city...where I spend my days on the beach, with the birds and crabs and sea shells...in other words, I made it through....

If I can do it, you can too.
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Old 08-30-2011, 07:48 PM
 
Location: Las Flores, Orange County, CA
26,365 posts, read 51,646,460 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greatblueheron View Post

If I can do it, you can too.

Not necessarily. In fact, I wonder how many more people would get divorced if it only cost them $2000.
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Old 08-30-2011, 08:53 PM
 
5,502 posts, read 3,810,313 times
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This happened because I chose:

NOT to fight every step of the process or every dime, NOT to allow atty direction-which included fighting for more money-which would cost me MORE money to pay the atty

And NOT to create a huge drama. Husb and I worked out possessions etc with no mediation.

When I said I made it and so can you...I mean surviving the ordeal and coming to a great place afterwards...not necessarily about money.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles View Post
Not necessarily. In fact, I wonder how many more people would get divorced if it only cost them $2000.
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Old 08-30-2011, 09:55 PM
 
Location: Phoenix
354 posts, read 531,833 times
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Arguably deciding after 26 years that it is time to part is pretty awful.

Even with me keeping the fully mortgaged home she couldn’t afford, our teenage son and offering her half my 401K, covering credit cards, plus paying the lease on her car for a year was a hell of a bargain. No lawyers got a piece of the action.

Everything is fine with me now and since there was no acrimony on my part it is only a little awkward when she joins us for family celebrations.

On the downside it is a big social adjustment especially now when combined the last child leaving home and the family dog dying but some couples dream of that day. I remain unattached and I am not so sure that is going to change. For now friends and associates are good enough.

Last edited by Searcher521; 08-30-2011 at 09:57 PM.. Reason: format error
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Old 08-30-2011, 11:24 PM
 
439 posts, read 351,304 times
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Greatblueheron,
I would love to know which east coast beach city you have chosen.
I would love to spend my days like you do....on the beach with the birds and seashells!
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Old 08-31-2011, 12:51 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas
7,378 posts, read 12,991,173 times
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One of our best friends got divorced a couple years before our marriage fell apart. Her divorce saved us a lot of money. They fought and battled in court over everything. Everyone lost big time except for the lawyers. And the anger, resentment, and bitterness destroyed the adult children's relationship with one parent or the other. Everyone took sides. It was one of the ugliest divorces I have ever seen and my friend said it ended up costing her 250K. Now she will never be able to retire and "work till I die" is her new mantra.

When the H and I decided we were done after 35+ years, we knew we didn't want to go through what our friend did. So we divided everything up and did it all ourselves. Perfectly fair? Probably not. But still much better than what the lawyers and judges would have done to us.

Divorce was never part of my retirement planning. Even the friendliest of divorces is financially devastating at our age and the best case scenario is that you lose 50% of your assets.
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