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Old 09-02-2011, 09:12 PM
 
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I wanted to ask this question to those who are in retirement or close to the age specially because I know you all have lived much longer than those around my age (18) and have met and dealt with more people in your lifetime than anyone my age can even boasts and I have so much respect for you having so much wisdom and life experience to share with the younger generation.

I just wanted to know, in YOUR opinion, if people change? Their personality. Who they are and who they've revealed themselves to be over time. Do you think there is a specific age or cut-off time where we stop developing (personality-wise) and become that personality for all time? Going through life and the motions and learning new things but still having that same base personality? In your opinion and experience, what has that been like? Have you grown up with people or family that you've known since you were a kid and did their personality change? Has your own personality changed since you were younger or have you always been the same person? Describe your experiences and your own personality and temperament and of those who you've grown up with and how they have changed or not changed over time.
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Old 09-02-2011, 10:13 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,744,100 times
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Some people change, but many never do. Therefore, it is not possible to make a blanket statement. Some changes are gradual, over many years. Other changes happen more quickly, in response to traumatic events. One of the most common changes is a certain mellowing with age. I have mellowed, becoming more tolerant, more patient, less quick to anger. I am 67.
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Old 09-02-2011, 10:33 PM
 
Location: Sacramento
13,784 posts, read 23,813,363 times
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You ask a pretty complex question there.

I'd say that your "core" doesn't change as you age, but how you respond to your environment may evolve over time.

In my own personal case, folks who I've met again from long ago generally state that I'm a lot different than I was as a teenager. However, I know how I feel about things, and my sentiments haven't really changed all that much.

I'd say that when younger, I was more immediate in my reaction to things or events, very quick to state an opinion and then argue as to why I was right. Now I'm much more inclined to stop and try to look at multiple perspectives concerning situations or issues, and to consider what might be valid points of view. I also can be much more measured and precise in my responses, without needing to argue my own initial perspective.
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Old 09-02-2011, 10:34 PM
 
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I am 64 and I would say maybe 20%.The majority of those have to have a crisis to change even then ;often hitting bottom first.
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Old 09-03-2011, 07:20 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
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Growth... evolve... some mutate...

It all depends on how someone reacts to all the obstacles, disappointments and "reality" of just living one's life.... yes a very complex question.

I've certainly matured and don't react immediately to proving my point until I've heard the argument and I still try to be as positive in my outlook on things as I can.. that is who I truly am. But I have kept the memories of "lessons learned" and I'm certainly not as "gullible" that's for sure... I will always try to have "new adventures" but will always do them after much preparation now... not by the seat of my pants
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Old 09-03-2011, 07:25 AM
 
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My brother-in-law was a good-time charlie well into his 20's. Barely passed his high school courses, dropped out of college 1st semester, burned through a string of minimum-wage jobs, usually fired from them. Money & possessions were easy-come, easy-go; everything just slipped through his fingers.

He didn't have a crisis or come-to-Jesus moment, just seemed to snap out of it almost overnight. At age 55, he's a long-time owner of his own successful small-business that employs 30+ people, and he's a wonderful husband and father of 5 great children.

I could tell you a half-dozen similar stories - most are not as financially successful as my brother-in-law but they are certainly highly successful in their personal lives after others had given up on them.
A couple of characteristics they (men & women) all shared: even though they partied/played through their 20's, none ever sponged off others, ie when they didn't have money, they did without rather than ask for loans or handouts. And none were ever physically or emotionally abusive toward others - they all were and still are nice people at the core. It just took them longer than most people to grow up.
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Old 09-03-2011, 07:27 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
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yup! I'd worry about someone who hasn't!
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Old 09-03-2011, 07:50 AM
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
28,502 posts, read 62,182,463 times
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Behavior may change (if influenced strongly enough)...
but the underlying reality of the person will still be there.
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Old 09-03-2011, 09:23 AM
 
507 posts, read 1,330,263 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
Some people change, but many never do. Therefore, it is not possible to make a blanket statement. Some changes are gradual, over many years. Other changes happen more quickly, in response to traumatic events. One of the most common changes is a certain mellowing with age. I have mellowed, becoming more tolerant, more patient, less quick to anger. I am 67.
I feel very similar to EscortRider.

I've had a few major events shift some of my core beliefs, so in that respect I have changed during my lifetime so far (I am soon to be 49). I also think that if somebody is very motivated to change they can do it. Some people just seem to be more adaptable. Others, not so much.
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Old 09-03-2011, 09:35 AM
 
Location: delaware
688 posts, read 864,694 times
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i would say that your basic personality remains intact, but the events of life refine and more clearly define the person over time. i'm 68 and i'm probably more externally outgoing than i was 30 years ago but it has been a pragmatic choice , so there has been effort on my part to change somewhat.
as i've aged i've become more self-confident but also less willing to put up with people and things that annoy me. i also feel much less of a need to explain myself to others.
my husband's death changed me in ways that i could probably never have forseen, and i think, as we age, it may be the losses that we endure that change us most significantly.

catsy girl
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