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Old 12-12-2017, 09:35 PM
Location: Central NY
4,865 posts, read 3,374,876 times
Reputation: 12614


MMoB: Welcome back!! So glad to read your good news!
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Old 12-14-2017, 04:25 PM
Location: WA
606 posts, read 563,486 times
Reputation: 2050
MMOB, happy you Posted here once again And telling of all you have been through. Turning the door knock to take a walk is my problem and should be grateful I can turn the handle and walk !

Holly, if garbage fell out of the lady's auto, sounds like a hoarder. In the post office parking lot, saw a car stacked everywhere in the car. The post office ladies, tried to talk to her. She would clean it out and then start all over again ! Tried to work with a hoarder, who had asked for my help, though she needed more help than I could give her.
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Old 12-14-2017, 05:21 PM
Location: Idaho
1,474 posts, read 1,183,049 times
Reputation: 5687
Last Tuesday, my daughter was overjoyed to be able to proceed with her 3rd chemo session (her white blood cells count got up to 13K after dropping to 240 way below the minimum level of 500). I spent the last two weeks cleaning, doing the laundry and sanitizing the entire house almost daily!

She got the neulasta shot the next day to make sure that she would not risk having sepsis after chemo. The session also went well unlike the last one when she had a scary instant allergic reaction to the Taxotere infusion.

We decided to proceed with the plan to return to NY on Wednesday after our daughter's successful 3rd chemo session. My husband's sciatica also seemed to improve after the 2nd steroid injection. The improvement was not as much as expected but good enough to allow him to take the long flight home.

We arrived BDL Hartford after 11pm but had to wait a while to get my husband's luggage. I checked in his carryon wheelies since he re-injured himself when lifting it in and out of the overhead luggage bin in our last two flights! It took us 3 hrs to get home instead of 2 hrs because of the bad snowy road condition. This morning we woke up to a winter wonderland landscape with almost 2 inches of snow.

I had enough energy to unpack, shovel the driveway and return the rental car but felt completely stressed out and could not proceed with doing the laundry! The main source of my stress was not the 2 months of being away from home trying to take care of both my daughter and husband. It was caused by our commitment to the huge relocation decision.

We were not planning to look for a house in this trip to Boise. It just happened that while taking an internet break between cooking, cleaning, yard work to help our daughter during her breast cancer chemo treatment, I browsed Zillow.com and saw a riverfront property for sale. Houses on the river on the east side of the river here were very rarely listed for sale. I persuaded my husband to go and have a look thinking that it would us give some ideas about what available when we plan to buy a house a year or two down the road (when our daughter will be fully recovered).

We drove by the house last Sunday and liked the location. Our daughter talked us into contacting the real estate agent to check out the house before our flight on Wednesday. We saw it on Tuesday specifically checking the internet/cellphone connections, the views and river accesses. We made the offer Wednesday morning just an hour before our flight (4% less than the asking price. I expected to go up to the full asking price if needed!). We were surprised that the owner, an 80 years old widower (he lost his wife last year), an Air Force vet and Cal retiree (who has retired in Idaho for 19 years) accepted our offer as is. The owner liked us and wanted to pass the house to someone who appreciate it as much as he does.

We set the closing date for March 13 about the time our daughter has her surgery since we plan to go back to Boise anyway.

We will take our time to make arrangement for the relocation, fixing up the current house and putting it up for sale (or sell it as is if it is sellable in the current condition).

It is exciting but also quite stressful. I was not mentally ready to make such a big decision to move. However, the property's location was so spectacular, it's better than anything that we had seen in our price range and we could not let it slip out of our fingers. Outdoor opportunities are galore there (boating, rowing, fishing, hiking and year-around-fabulous river, mountain, sunset views out of 3/4 of the house - kitchen, dining room, living room and master bedroom). So I am glad that we ran into it by chance and got it.

We love living here in the Mid Hudson Valley in NY and I will really miss rowing on the Hudson River, birding, hiking and my former-colleagues/ rowing/birding friends here. However, we only have one child and she wants us to be near her. Her terrible illness makes us realize that life is short. We can not take things for granted and can not have everything. So this new home is a decent trade-off for all the great things that we loose when move out of NY.

I am looking forward to form an informal rowing/sculling club in the area and have our NY friends visiting us to row/fish on the Snake River or nearby Lake Lowell, to hike the national wildlife refuge down the road, to visit nearby vineyards, to watch birds or just have barbecue on our deck watching sunset over the mountains and river reflections. The house has a driveway all the way down to the riverbank and another staircase for the walkway to the river bank. I will definitely put in a dock either in one or both places.

I am totally stressed out by the thought of the enormous task of figuring out all the moving logistics. We had relocated 4 times in our 40 years of marriage. This time, after 25 years of staying in the same house, the task seems quite overwhelming. We had worked very hard in the last 1.5 years to downsize and fix up the house but there are still quite a bit of work to do. Oh well, the offer was accepted, the die is cast so we wil proceed with the relocation plan. My husband keeps assuring me that everything will be fine but it may take several days for my nerves to calm down enough before I can fully engage my planner's brain!
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Old 12-14-2017, 09:09 PM
Location: SoCal
6,096 posts, read 9,644,467 times
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BellaDL, it's so good to hear that your daughter's situation is easing up.

And, despite the stress you're feeling about it, it sounds like that house was meant for you. Back when I was a student, one of my friends gave me some sound advice for apartment-hunting. He said that if I visited a place and was hesitant about moving there, I would probably never be quite comfortable in that place. On the other hand, if I visited a place and felt like I was coming home, look no further. That would be a good place for me. It's always turned out to be true.
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Old 12-14-2017, 09:54 PM
1,642 posts, read 629,711 times
Reputation: 3533
BellaDL -- Wow! You and your family have been through some rough waters lately; I am glad to hear your daughter is doing better and hope she does well throughout the rest of her treatment. Sorry about your Hubby hurting himself lifting the luggage! And you, all the stress! Your new home sounds lovely - I hope the move will work out well for you.
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Old 12-14-2017, 10:30 PM
10,849 posts, read 8,193,902 times
Reputation: 17170
BellaDL, your house situation sounds exactly like ours when we relocated a year ago: 24 years in our old place, downsizing and fixups started but not complete, found our new dream house way sooner than we expected, offer accepted.
Also like you, we had an adult child living in the new location. But he wasn't dealing with the health problems like your daughter, I'm so so sad that you're having to deal with that.

For us, the process went way more smoother than we could have imagined. Our early efforts on downsizing and fixups paid off in spades and we sold our old place sooner, without having to do many more fixups, at a larger price than we could have imagined.
We ended up leaving behind many more possessions, i.e. "stuff", than we had anticipated and for us, that worked out great. We're living the dream, and I hope you can do the same.
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Old 12-15-2017, 06:14 AM
8,016 posts, read 11,791,418 times
Reputation: 10583
MMoB - yay, so glad you are through chemo and walking! We need you here at CD retirement forum. Hope you are practicing walking by getting out and getting some sun and warm weather, sure do envy you that up here in the north this time of year. But of course wear a hat! Glad they caught that skin cancer. Seems to be a more common thing nowdays, guess the ozone or something isn't protecting us like it used to. Hope the prognosis news continues to be good.

BellaDL - Congratulations! Sounds like a home touchdown! I am enamored by the big skies of the west but "the west" is so big the idea of choosing a location just seems insurmountable. And water is so much scarcer. Being from MI the idea of the dry west is sometimes a bit hard. So scoring a riverfront property is huge! I take it though it is not enough for rowing? How about tubing?
So happy that your daughter is doing better hope her prognosis keeps improving. You are def doing the right thing. Just take it slow, nothing says that you have to be ready to move the minute you close. You might want to preship to storage in stages or something.
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Old 12-15-2017, 08:39 AM
Location: Prescott AZ
6,182 posts, read 9,238,576 times
Reputation: 11774
Bella: So happy for your daughter. Having had the dreaded bc myself, I know how you must feel about your loved one.
AND that new house !!! Wonderful news. The stress you feel is normal. I went through that last December, when I had sold my house, yet did not have a new one to move into. Truly it will all come together. It just takes time and positive thoughts. I started packing the minute I knew I was going to move. That helped me alot. I think we all have anxiety about moving, especially out of state. Good luck to you.
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Old 12-15-2017, 09:17 AM
Location: Central NY
4,865 posts, read 3,374,876 times
Reputation: 12614
BellaDL: I am so glad that your daughter has made progress in her fight with BC. As I read your posts, I am so amazed at your strength, at the support and love you give your daughter.

Hope your DH recovers from his back problems. Sciatica is one painful problem.

And your new house/home!!! I am green with envy. You deserve every good thing that comes your way.

Wishing you all the best and with the new year coming that your struggles become memories. Life is good!
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Old 12-15-2017, 09:38 AM
Location: Central NY
4,865 posts, read 3,374,876 times
Reputation: 12614
I have been living in a "comfortable" rut for quite a while now. I thought, ah at last, I am where I am supposed to be, no more wondering what's next (or fearing it).

Most weekday mornings I listen to a woman who has a half-hour TV program that I draw much faith and strength from. She often seems to hit right where I need to be "hit." Today she reminded me of a dream I once had that I have given up on.

I live in central NY state where the snow flies in the winter, temperatures plummet to very cold, and I have more or less decided this is where I am supposed to be.

But I had a very long-time desire to move closer to the ocean. But as time and circumstances were, I never saw a time when that would be feasible. No money, alone and not wanting to move alone (been there, done that), and of course not being young anymore. All kinds of negative reasons for staying put.

This morning when listening to the program I like, she talked about getting unstuck and not settling. She said if you want to live by the ocean, don't settle for living by a stream. It's not the first time I've heard this. Over the years I have heard it several times. But never did anything about it.

How many of you have gotten unstuck and gone on to live your dream? How did you do it? What did you draw on for courage and perseverance?
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