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Old 07-16-2013, 08:29 PM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
6,977 posts, read 7,473,925 times
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I've always thought the meaner and nastier you are the longer you last. Seems to be true from what I've seen. So, does that mean we all don't want to last long? Naw, there are always exceptions

It's too hot for all this heavy stuff

 
Old 07-16-2013, 08:30 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,633,970 times
Reputation: 22439
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
Indeed it is. I read The Little Prince as a child both in English and in French. Of course, being very young I didn't appreciate the subtleties of it. I only viewed it as a grand tale. Time to read it again but alas. It will have to be in English I fear. Je ne parle que très peu le français.

I think there's a correlation to some of what occurs here on C-D. Whether to be noticed, to simply encourage then indulge in conversation - making a human connection - or to merely fill their idle hours, threads are begun with questions to which the poser already has their answer or doesn't really want an answer because their mind is already made up. Just speculation on my part but there could be an element of truth to it. Threads go off-topic, feelings get hurt, some get angry and defensive and yet, I've no doubt the same question has been asked and answered many times before over the years; perhaps posed one or more times by the same person with, perhaps, some nuanced changes to make it "fresh."

And with that I'll close.
Forums are a huge social experiment . . . a petri dish of personalities.

I have gotten irritated on a forum (b/c I asked a question and instead got a lecture - that was in the weight loss section) but I don't think I have ever gotten angry. So I do find it very interesting that folks take things so personally. Now, I have been quick to apologize when I have perceived someone else has taken offense at what I have written - and usually, if I feel someone has misunderstood - I try to explain what I intended (but sometimes I don't bother b/c I think the person who misunderstood really doesn't want to hear what I intended -- as you mentioned, I think folks "already have their minds made up" in some cases).

There have been studies in re: to interactions on forums. I wish I could recall where to find some of them. If I dig some up, I will post links.

I enjoy the interactions and although I won't say I have learned anything new about human nature, I have certainly had some of my theories confirmed about personality types and that indeed, people DO process information in many different ways.

Two people can read the same thing and come up with entirely different analyses. Now, that fascinates me.
 
Old 07-16-2013, 08:32 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,633,970 times
Reputation: 22439
Quote:
Originally Posted by Umbria View Post
I've always thought the meaner and nastier you are the longer you last. Seems to be true from what I've seen. So, does that mean we all don't want to last long? Naw, there are always exceptions

It's too hot for all this heavy stuff
Ah, mean and nasty.

The endurance factor.

Have you ever noticed how mean and nasty folks seem to always avoid being fired? And they always have the spouses who are the most indulgent? LOL I can't figure that out. Seems like the more demanding some folks are, the more they receive.

Maybe people just placate them so as to avoid their wrath.
 
Old 07-16-2013, 08:55 PM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
6,977 posts, read 7,473,925 times
Reputation: 16359
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Ah, mean and nasty.

The endurance factor.

Have you ever noticed how mean and nasty folks seem to always avoid being fired? And they always have the spouses who are the most indulgent? LOL I can't figure that out. Seems like the more demanding some folks are, the more they receive.

Maybe people just placate them so as to avoid their wrath.
Yes - where I worked the nastier they were the more favors they received and yes, whenever there was a downsizing - they were always left standing. I always wondered if they had something over someone of power. I had a boss that was this way. She liked me - why? I have no idea but it rather embarrassed me. She hadn't put in a full days work in years, spent much of our travel budget going to meetings that she had no knowledge of the subject - she just liked to travel. She's skip these meetings and go shopping. This happened more times than not. She could look you in the face and lie her hiney off. All these things were well known and yet the higher ups never did a thing - it's like they were afraid of her. The longer she lasted, the nastier she got. She had a group of about 4 Salt Lake City people reporting to her and they finally got together and forced the issue. Maybe she was a cat in her previous life - she definitely had 9+ lives.
 
Old 07-16-2013, 08:58 PM
 
494 posts, read 890,401 times
Reputation: 1348
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post

. . . . Two people can read the same thing and come up with entirely different analyses. Now, that fascinates me. [Excerpt, not full quote.]
People have studied/theorized about this with respect to reading/interpreting fiction--how the construction put on what is read sometimes has as much to do with what's going on with the reader as with what's stated in the text--thus, sometimes very different readings of the same thing by different individuals (search on "reader response"--some of it is very interesting).

I also find novels and films that alternate between different characters' viewpoints interesting for the same reason. (Haven't come across any recently--recommendations, anyone?)
 
Old 07-16-2013, 09:07 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,633,970 times
Reputation: 22439
Quote:
Originally Posted by Umbria View Post
Yes - where I worked the nastier they were the more favors they received and yes, whenever there was a downsizing - they were always left standing. I always wondered if they had something over someone of power. I had a boss that was this way. She liked me - why? I have no idea but it rather embarrassed me. She hadn't put in a full days work in years, spent much of our travel budget going to meetings that she had no knowledge of the subject - she just liked to travel. She's skip these meetings and go shopping. This happened more times than not. She could look you in the face and lie her hiney off. All these things were well known and yet the higher ups never did a thing - it's like they were afraid of her. The longer she lasted, the nastier she got. She had a group of about 4 Salt Lake City people reporting to her and they finally got together and forced the issue. Maybe she was a cat in her previous life - she definitely had 9+ lives.
Yup. Perfect example of what I was thinking!

I truly have wondered about this for decades. I have known of so many situations with the nasty spouse who was treated like royalty; the nasty employee who continued to get raises and never got caught in the downsize.

Never have figured it out!

One of the "nasty people" (who also happened to be the wife of my boss at the time) told me that I was too easy to please. She said it was a defect - a deficit. She said that being discerning sets people apart, and that I was too easily "pleased and satisfied" . . . I mean, this was a LECTURE. She said that no one respects someone who will just accept "whatever."

All this was in regard to my never stating "what I wanted" for lunch when someone was going to get take out for the group. I always felt that whatever the majority wanted would be fine with me. I just never really gave a rat's arse, to be frank, lol.

But I have often wondered if there is a kernel of truth in what she said. Maybe people DO respect those who are so adamant about every aspect of life and demand that their wishes and expectations be met. Maybe it makes people feel that having to earn a pat on the back for living up to impossibly high standards (or impossibly wacky demands) means they are more worthy.
 
Old 07-16-2013, 09:11 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,633,970 times
Reputation: 22439
Quote:
Originally Posted by City__Datarer View Post
People have studied/theorized about this with respect to reading/interpreting fiction--how the construction put on what is read sometimes has as much to do with what's going on with the reader as with what's stated in the text--thus, sometimes very different readings of the same thing by different individuals (search on "reader response"--some of it is very interesting).

I also find novels and films that alternate between different characters' viewpoints interesting for the same reason. (Haven't come across any recently--recommendations, anyone?)
Makes sense!

I will have to think about films that would fit that description and post them. I think that may be why I like documentaries - b/c that genre often does get perspective from different sources on the same subject.

I could use some recommendations for movies, btw!!! Please post some of your favorites!!!

PS> Especially nice if I can find them on Netflix or watch them online on my puter. :-)
 
Old 07-16-2013, 09:14 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,633,970 times
Reputation: 22439
Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
Life is not fair. Some of the best and brightest die young, but mediocraties like Escort Rider continue into their doddering old age! Or worse, embodiments of evil like Stalin die at age 74.
Oh, do stop!

You are a deep-thinker, Escort. If I had a complicated/major problem and needed someone to help me think it through, you would be at the top of my list to consult.
 
Old 07-16-2013, 09:28 PM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
6,977 posts, read 7,473,925 times
Reputation: 16359
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Yup. Perfect example of what I was thinking!

I truly have wondered about this for decades. I have known of so many situations with the nasty spouse who was treated like royalty; the nasty employee who continued to get raises and never got caught in the downsize.

Never have figured it out!

One of the "nasty people" (who also happened to be the wife of my boss at the time) told me that I was too easy to please. She said it was a defect - a deficit. She said that being discerning sets people apart, and that I was too easily "pleased and satisfied" . . . I mean, this was a LECTURE. She said that no one respects someone who will just accept "whatever."

All this was in regard to my never stating "what I wanted" for lunch when someone was going to get take out for the group. I always felt that whatever the majority wanted would be fine with me. I just never really gave a rat's arse, to be frank, lol.

But I have often wondered if there is a kernel of truth in what she said. Maybe people DO respect those who are so adamant about every aspect of life and demand that their wishes and expectations be met. Maybe it makes people feel that having to earn a pat on the back for living up to impossibly high standards (or impossibly wacky demands) means they are more worthy.
Ha! She once said: "People must command respect!!" I thought: Here's a little secret - no one respects you - so command away - it will change nothing. Call me old fashioned but I still believe you have to deserve respect to get it - otherwise people just fake it.

I also pick my battles - will let a lot slide but as a friend once said "When I see your green eyes start poppin I know it's time to lighten up".
 
Old 07-16-2013, 09:30 PM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
6,977 posts, read 7,473,925 times
Reputation: 16359
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Oh, do stop!

You are a deep-thinker, Escort. If I had a complicated/major problem and needed someone to help me think it through, you would be at the top of my list to consult.
Oh yes! We really do appreciate you.
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