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Old 01-11-2019, 09:44 AM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
5,102 posts, read 3,578,192 times
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I think she wanted to acknowledge she received the email but didn't know what to say.

 
Old 01-11-2019, 10:04 AM
 
Location: Williamsburg, VA
3,551 posts, read 1,743,298 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meo92953 View Post
I think she wanted to acknowledge she received the email but didn't know what to say.

Hmm, you might be right. Maybe she just figured it was safer to say something like that, and not risk saying the wrong thing.



She's a loving person, but every once in while has a talent for saying the wrong thing. One time she walked into my mom's brand new house, looked at her cylindrical range hood and said "You've got a penis in your kitchen!"


My mom is not the sort of person who finds remarks like that funny.



I don't know what makes my sister say things like that. She doesn't do it a lot, but every once in awhile she'll say really off the wall things like that. Maybe she was afraid this would be one of those times.
 
Old 01-11-2019, 10:06 AM
 
Location: Central NY
4,880 posts, read 3,382,746 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Piney Creek View Post
Which reminds me, I had a funny reaction to an e-mail I sent the other day. Maybe I can bounce it off all of you to see what you think?


"But one sister has me baffled. She said simply "Thanks for keeping me in the loop."


I got this reply about 40 minutes ago, and I guess I should call her tonight when she gets home from work. Not sure what I should say, though, because I'm not sure what to make of this comment. What do you guys think?
"


I am wondering what it is about her comment that has you puzzled. I know you are dealing with new scary info concerning your health, so how we interpret another person's remarks needs time to sink in.

To me, her reply about keeping her in the loop sounds like she is grateful you let her know. Were you expecting her to react to your own situation? She didn't respond sympathetically or ask more questions, did you feel slighted?

Please don't let this weigh you down. You have a very serious condition and I am so glad you will have the surgery soon. I had a breast cancer in 1999 that was very early, very small but the surgeon said he wanted to operate soon. Unfortunately I caught the flu and couldn't have it done till I had recovered from the flu. I honestly can't recall how anyone reacted to my news. I was stunned by it.

Please give yourself time. I am very sorry to hear you are going through this. Your sister may be feeling pretty scared for you and for herself.

Let us know how everything goes for you.
 
Old 01-11-2019, 10:17 AM
 
Location: Williamsburg, VA
3,551 posts, read 1,743,298 times
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I guess it just struck me as a strange thing to say. It's not like there's ever been a history of her being left out of the loop. But you're right about not wasting time thinking about it. I have plenty of other things to think about, and whatever her issue is will probably be clear after I talk to her. And most likely she doesn't even have an issue at all, just didn't know what to say.
 
Old 01-11-2019, 10:23 AM
 
Location: Williamsburg, VA
3,551 posts, read 1,743,298 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
"She didn't respond sympathetically or ask more questions, did you feel slighted?

Maybe a little bit of this is going on, too. We were raised to always say something sympathetic when you hear sad news. Even if all you can say is "You're in my prayers" (or thoughts, which some of my family members prefer.) So maybe I do feel a little bit slighted. Having realized this, I'll make a point to not feel that way.
 
Old 01-11-2019, 12:14 PM
 
Location: Central Connecticut
434 posts, read 283,015 times
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It's better than my aunt's response when my mom (her sister) told her she had pancreatic cancer. My aunt said, "Well at least you'll lose weight now."

I wish you a quick recovery.
 
Old 01-11-2019, 12:23 PM
 
5,428 posts, read 6,645,614 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Piney Creek View Post
Which reminds me, I had a funny reaction to an e-mail I sent the other day. Maybe I can bounce it off all of you to see what you think?


I was just diagnosed with breast cancer. Apparently it's a fast growing one so they want to do surgery in the near future. I thought this was the sort of information every family member needed to know, especially my sisters, since this is increasingly a family disease. So I sent a mass email to everyone in the family. I chose email because I wanted to give some of the details. Also, because I wanted to maintain a more of matter-of-fact tone, and I was afraid I might get really emotional if I skyped news like this. Not that there's anything wrong with emotion, but I just wasn't ready to have an emotional skype at that time. I did say I had some sad news, but that was about it.



Most of the responses were what you would expect. Supportive, some offers to help, some people telling me about friends I might call who were in similar situations.


But one sister has me baffled. She said simply "Thanks for keeping me in the loop."


I got this reply about 40 minutes ago, and I guess I should call her tonight when she gets home from work. Not sure what I should say, though, because I'm not sure what to make of this comment. What do you guys think?
Maybe she was just wanting to respond in kind as in a 'matter of fact tone'. If you didn't want to get close and emotional maybe she was respecting your wishes. Maybe she didn't want to blurt out something unwanted. I don't know.

I do know that I can rarely do anything right with one sister. She is a highly emotional, inward looking type person and I am more the pragmatic stoic type. So no matter what is in my heart, usually she says I hurt her feelings by not saying what she was looking for. We love each other but just talk different languages it seems.

Can't say in your case but I am sure she wishes you only the best and is there for you unless you have reason to think otherwise.

Best to you and good thoughts for your recovery
 
Old 01-11-2019, 01:25 PM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
6,183 posts, read 9,245,184 times
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Piney: I was there in 2008. Good that you are having the surgery ASAP. Hope you have good results (no lymph nodes involved) and a fast recovery. Good luck !
 
Old 01-11-2019, 04:47 PM
 
Location: Yavapai County
758 posts, read 502,183 times
Reputation: 950
I'm not sure about your sister. Can't always figure out my own family either. I do know that it can be hard for people to know what to say sometimes.

Wishing you the best through this battle with cancer, Piney Creek!
 
Old 01-11-2019, 06:14 PM
 
Location: Spurs country. "Go, Spurs, Go!"
3,504 posts, read 4,060,173 times
Reputation: 9210
You said you'd call her when she got home from work. So if she was at work when she received this unpleasant news, she couldn't "lose it" or call you or even send an emotional reply via email/text/whatever. She had to "hold it together" to get her work done. Let us know what the outcome is. Hopefully, she will be more emotional when you talk to her verbally.

ETA: I see you sent the email "the other day". And she hasn't contacted you until today? I can't guess what is going on in her mind, then. I hope your talking with her tonight brings a good outcome for you.

Wishing you a healthy outcome.
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