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Old 08-30-2013, 05:45 PM
 
Location: Prospect, KY
5,284 posts, read 18,074,335 times
Reputation: 6550

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Well, the neighborhood sounds great (the organic foods market would be a must for us too!), but I understand and agree with 2 things you wrote - one, that you really don't relish the idea of more renovations. When we moved from our Long Beach, CA house, we came away having spent the last 5 years doing major remodels (our house was in perfect condition) and we ended up buying a fixer-upper when we moved and retired...our list of things that need to be redone after 5 years has shrunk quite a bit but there is still plenty to do - probably too much.

The other thing you mentioned was grandchildren/kids and being further away should you move....our grandchildren are in the west and it is very difficult sometimes....we miss them so much.

Anyway - you have valid concerns - being further from family is the biggie - at least for me. On the other hand, when we are with our kids and grandkids (when they visit us) - well it is truly quality, happy times and memories because we miss each other so much....because we don't live near them, we don't get caught up in any day to day drama that they might be involved with....and honestly I think that it makes for a better relationship sometimes. They figure out their own problems, their own finances, etc. without us getting much involved.

Hard when you are pulled toward something that might be a fun change and what you know in your heart. I totally understand and empathize.

 
Old 08-30-2013, 06:03 PM
 
Location: Arizona
419 posts, read 663,524 times
Reputation: 862
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
Yesterday I got an auto email from a realtor with whom I'm set up to receive notices of new listings. I've had it for five years and is how I found the current house.

The house that caught my eye yesterday is in another part of the state, near lots of cultural/arts activities, and in a lovely neighborhood. So we hopped in the car and traveled an hour to see it.

The house is small and the "worst" one on the street as it has never been updated and actually needs quite a bit of work....new roof, renovated kitchen and bath, a new hardwood l.r. floor, and maybe paint on real wood siding. Now that is a lot, but nothing compared to the renovations that went/are going on in my current house (all done as an investment, as we are in a preferred n'hood in a college town).

Now we almost turned around and left the house pronto when we opened the front door, like oh no, not another 5 years of renovations. But always ready to take on an impossible challenge, we made ourselves look around the interior.

First, the location is fabulous. It's a great neighborhood. As we were driving down the street to check it out, I said out loud, gee if only there were a natural foods store in this town it sure would seal the deal...as there were beautiful parks along the way. Just as I said that, we rounded a corner and voila! There in front of us appeared an organic market that was just the right size and has everything we ever buy.

We went back to the house (we had the key). Here's the outline

- perfect house for old age

- a great price (financially a sound move, giving us a wide margin of profit from the current house/low taxes

- all on one floor with an easy level and private back yard, big enough for a garden that would take up teh entire space (no mowing). A front yard that is a snap to mow.

- neighbors a distance on either side and none behind

- a beautiful street

- 3 bedrooms with lovely hardwood floors and no renovation

- only 1 bath and no place for another

- open concept l.r. flowing into kitchen

- it's the LR, bath, and kitchen that need total renovation


We went out to eat and then went back to the house. Alternated between cringing at having to do rehab again (not me, him) and marveling at the perfection of the location for old age. Walk to parks and organic food store that also delivers! Lower taxes! Easy house (once rehabbed)!

We were set to make an offer even though our current house is not finished enough to put on the market (and, we are going toward winter up here).

We said we'd sleep on it and did. Today we were really quiet, didn't talk about it. Mulling it over.

After seeing the grandkids this afternoon I resolved I, at least, couldn't go through with it. Moving there would mean we'd be an hour further away from them than we already are (making it almost 2 hours, and as I'd recently posted, I don't do car trips well).

Tonight we're supposed to talk about this after dinner. Anyone reading, please give some thoughts!
Did you check out the senior center(s)? I remember you posting awhile back that you would definitely make sure that a new town had stimulating senior activities before making a move. Is there a cultural center where you can take adult classes and mingle with other like minded people? I am sure you do not want to just sit in a beautiful park passing the time away.

If you would like to live near your grandchildren, you may just have to give up the notion of living in a pretty quaint town with lower COL. Decisions, decisions!
 
Old 08-30-2013, 06:03 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,171,694 times
Reputation: 15656
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cattknap View Post
Well, the neighborhood sounds great (the organic foods market would be a must for us too!), but I understand and agree with 2 things you wrote - one, that you really don't relish the idea of more renovations. When we moved from our Long Beach, CA house, we came away having spent the last 5 years doing major remodels (our house was in perfect condition) and we ended up buying a fixer-upper when we moved and retired...our list of things that need to be redone after 5 years has shrunk quite a bit but there is still plenty to do - probably too much.

The other thing you mentioned was grandchildren/kids and being further away should you move....our grandchildren are in the west and it is very difficult sometimes....we miss them so much.

Anyway - you have valid concerns - being further from family is the biggie - at least for me. On the other hand, when we are with our kids and grandkids (when they visit us) - well it is truly quality, happy times and memories because we miss each other so much....because we don't live near them, we don't get caught up in any day to day drama that they might be involved with....and honestly I think that it makes for a better relationship sometimes. They figure out their own problems, their own finances, etc. without us getting much involved.

Hard when you are pulled toward something that might be a fun change and what you know in your heart. I totally understand and empathize.
Before you moved to KY did you feel conflicted because of leaving the grandchildren behind? Would you now or soon move back because of them?

I love doing art projects with kids and writing, etc. I've been hoping to help them with school projects 5 or 6 years down the road. No way I'm going to do that 2 hours away!

Thanks for your thoughts.
 
Old 08-30-2013, 06:04 PM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
6,977 posts, read 7,473,925 times
Reputation: 16359
It's tough for someone else to give any worthwhile advice since it's you that has to weigh all that you have noted. The house sounds nice. The day will come when those g/kids will be too busy for you (sorry to say it) but they are just babes now. Hmmmm - What to do????? Perhaps another home will come on the market when the g/kids are older - this could be a timing issue.

What does DP think?

Just read your response to Cattknap and I think you've made up your mind.
 
Old 08-30-2013, 06:17 PM
 
Location: In the realm of possiblities
2,713 posts, read 2,311,926 times
Reputation: 3245
Follow your heart. Life will follow you.
 
Old 08-30-2013, 06:19 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,171,694 times
Reputation: 15656
Quote:
Originally Posted by Umbria View Post
It's tough for someone else to give any worthwhile advice since it's you that has to weigh all that you have noted. The house sounds nice. The day will come when those g/kids will be too busy for you (sorry to say it) but they are just babes now. Hmmmm - What to do????? Perhaps another home will come on the market when the g/kids are older - this could be a timing issue.

What does DP think?

Just read your response to Cattknap and I think you've made up your mind.
No I haven't completely made up my mind. Forgot to say we know no couples where we are now but do know several couples in the other location.

The problem is finding this house several years too soon. The "plan" was to sell in several years and look for exactly this kind of property. It's almost too small for us at this point but in several years it could be perfect. Knowing other couples there, and it being a really nice area with parks/nature preserves to walk to in old age, walk to get the groceries, heck, we'd even do a slow bike again as the roads to the places we want to go to are safe. And it's beautiful there. It's just....well, you know.

We stumbled on this place too soon and by the time we make up our minds the place will be snapped up. Because it's a fixer, it's a really low price. But truthfully, it's the location of my dreams (if we are going to stay in the North, that is).
 
Old 08-30-2013, 06:23 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,171,694 times
Reputation: 15656
Quote:
Originally Posted by 124c41 View Post
Follow your heart. Life will follow you.
Heart is torn in two directions. Which more important for us, living closer to the twin babies we love or being in a completely manageable place for old age? To be near the babies as they grow would require us to stay put or move closer to them. Moving closer to them is not an option, the RE is too pricey. So it's either staying put for several more years (almost 1 hr away) or trying to get this other house (2 hrs away). This type of thing always happens when there's too much going on in other areas of life. It's hard to focus and evaluate with a clear head(s).
 
Old 08-30-2013, 07:11 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,171,694 times
Reputation: 15656
Just had the talk and pretty much decided to let the house opportunity go. We found it at least a year too soon and we really shouldn't bite off more than we can chew financially or physically by carrying two houses. I think we'll renew efforts to finish this house by next spring and not look at other possibilities till then. The grandbabies will be older too and we'll have a better take on how much we are actually going to be in their lives. But I bet by tomorrow morning I'll be looking at that listing again, lol. Thanks everyone, enjoy your Labor Day Weekend before fall and then.....winter.
 
Old 08-31-2013, 04:04 AM
 
Location: Virginia
18,717 posts, read 27,131,671 times
Reputation: 42872
It's just as well. Moving is no fun when you've got a lot of stuff, and it sounds like you have a lot of stuff. Deciding to downsize is just the first step of the battle--figuring out how to give it away or sell it can take a lot longer than you think. Too bad you can't just leave all the stuff in the old house--if you could, then I'd say "Yes! Go for it for that reason alone!"
 
Old 08-31-2013, 05:51 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,171,694 times
Reputation: 15656
I woke up thinking about an early morning walk around that neighborhood. It's hard to shake the idea once your imagination starts in. Will probably cancel that auto email with new listings. In the meantime the house I'm in is quite pleasurable and I'm looking forward to using the newly renovated upstairs room. Maybe as artists we just have a way of revisioning old houses with a lot of potential and charm.
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