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Old 09-23-2013, 06:28 PM
 
Location: too far from the sea
20,317 posts, read 19,298,566 times
Reputation: 34738

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I love these victorious stories. Good, Umbria. Good, Anifani821.

There are many times (at least for me) when we are powerless to do anything but when we can have a victory and teach the inconsiderate boors a lesson, it's all to the good.
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Old 09-24-2013, 07:27 AM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 8,425,565 times
Reputation: 7530
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Along the way, I received training as a dog obedience trainer (I used to do obedience training w/ my own dogs - I had a kennel and bred shelties). I am not intimidated by dogs overall . . . and feel pretty confident around them . . . so I had been trained many years ago how to fend off a dog attack. Every situation is different, but the main thing to remember when a dog is coming straight for you is to aim for the dog's chest with your knee. This will take the wind out of the dog, and the force of their speeding body against your knee will knock them back. Of course, if you can get a kick in at the end of that process, all the better, lololol. Also, you want to hold your arm in front of your neck so they grab your arm rather than your neck (gruesome thought!).

Just throwing that out there in case any of you are the victims of a dog attack.

Love your horse story! I could see it in my mind - lovely way to meet your neighbors, too!
Thanks, never knew these things. Fending off a cat in my lap at the moment.
 
Old 09-25-2013, 05:39 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,166,556 times
Reputation: 15656
[quote=Umbria;31517816]
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
When I left my trees were bare and my yard was cleaned up. When I returned 1 1/2 weeks later, my yard was covered and there were leaves 2' high in front of my garage door. I was royally pissed. Not only was I tired from driving from Co but I had the first auto accident since I was 19. A semi was passing me, hit a deer and somehow threw it into my car. The poor deer bounced off my car back into the semi and then back into my car. This was 1 hr. from home. So, when I drove into my driveway and saw those leaves I saw red. I went in the garage - got the blower and started blowing all those leaves into his yard. He ran outside "What do you think you're doing!!?" "What you should have been doing and this is what you have to look forward to until you start cleaning up your yard". I stared him down - he ran in the house. I kept blowing until all those leaves were back where they belonged. Neighbor feud be dam+++

He now hires someone to come earlier than late Nov but it's still a problem. We have to bag leaves in these recyclable bags - not cheap. His son from Philly was there and while I was outside he stood there looking at me with this grin. I asked if he needed something and he said "I think my dad is afraid of you". We both laughed. That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time.
The northern cold must make us mean ladies to contend with, lol. I'm with you—fight fire with fire. Only I would have done this in the middle of the night, Chevy Chase/Bette Middler style.

Now I have some pretty funny images of you—the one that lingers most is you bundled in so many layers in January that you can barely move, then wild woman on the rampage with hammer, electric drill and paintbrush, and now you in "leaf-blower wars." The last one is definitely a scene in a movie—comedy, of course.

P.S. When you get to Asheville, you'll have to adjust your attitude—southern ladies act appropriately. (–:
 
Old 09-25-2013, 06:05 AM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 8,425,565 times
Reputation: 7530
And, hopefully, southern gents as well.
 
Old 09-25-2013, 08:45 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,627,864 times
Reputation: 22439
[quote=newenglandgirl;31546336]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Umbria View Post

The northern cold must make us mean ladies to contend with, lol. I'm with you—fight fire with fire. Only I would have done this in the middle of the night, Chevy Chase/Bette Middler style.

Now I have some pretty funny images of you—the one that lingers most is you bundled in so many layers in January that you can barely move, then wild woman on the rampage with hammer, electric drill and paintbrush, and now you in "leaf-blower wars." The last one is definitely a scene in a movie—comedy, of course.

P.S. When you get to Asheville, you'll have to adjust your attitude—southern ladies act appropriately. (–:
Something funky going on with the quotes - I know this post was meant for Umbria!

And I agree - I could just see it all . . . Go Umbria!!!!
 
Old 09-25-2013, 08:59 AM
 
Location: Virginia
18,717 posts, read 27,128,339 times
Reputation: 42872
The problem with retaliation stories is that both the Hatfields and the McCoys think the other side are the boorish people. And everyone ends up losing. So these stories kind of have me scratching my head.

I can understand the leaf stories, but the one about laundry detergent? Who exactly was the victor in that story? One person had his clothing ruined. Clothing is expensive to replace and he probably also lost some favorite items that were not replaceable. The other person had a brick thrown through her windshield. This is a lose-lose story. And all because somebody took a scoop of laundry detergent?

The other thing I wonder is what happened after the brick was thrown through the windshield? Once something like that starts, people usually continue with some sort of retaliation. Even if you just do little stuff to each other, in the end everyone pays a price. Not to mention you'll give yourself high blood pressure. And you'll start griping a lot, wondering why your life seems to have so much bad luck.

Seems to me it's easier to handle a problem like that by saying "Oh look, someone has taken a scoop of my detergent. Lesson learned, I won't leave my detergent in the laundry room anymore." Wouldn't that have been a lot easier--not to mention less expensive?
 
Old 09-25-2013, 09:21 AM
 
1,981 posts, read 2,765,995 times
Reputation: 3559
I agree.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Caladium View Post
The problem with retaliation stories is that both the Hatfields and the McCoys think the other side are the boorish people. And everyone ends up losing. So these stories kind of have me scratching my head.

I can understand the leaf stories, but the one about laundry detergent? Who exactly was the victor in that story? One person had his clothing ruined. Clothing is expensive to replace and he probably also lost some favorite items that were not replaceable. The other person had a brick thrown through her windshield. This is a lose-lose story. And all because somebody took a scoop of laundry detergent?

The other thing I wonder is what happened after the brick was thrown through the windshield? Once something like that starts, people usually continue with some sort of retaliation. Even if you just do little stuff to each other, in the end everyone pays a price. Not to mention you'll give yourself high blood pressure. And you'll start griping a lot, wondering why your life seems to have so much bad luck.

Seems to me it's easier to handle a problem like that by saying "Oh look, someone has taken a scoop of my detergent. Lesson learned, I won't leave my detergent in the laundry room anymore." Wouldn't that have been a lot easier--not to mention less expensive?
 
Old 09-25-2013, 09:36 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,627,864 times
Reputation: 22439
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caladium View Post
The problem with retaliation stories is that both the Hatfields and the McCoys think the other side are the boorish people. And everyone ends up losing. So these stories kind of have me scratching my head.

I can understand the leaf stories, but the one about laundry detergent? Who exactly was the victor in that story? One person had his clothing ruined. Clothing is expensive to replace and he probably also lost some favorite items that were not replaceable. The other person had a brick thrown through her windshield. This is a lose-lose story. And all because somebody took a scoop of laundry detergent?

The other thing I wonder is what happened after the brick was thrown through the windshield? Once something like that starts, people usually continue with some sort of retaliation. Even if you just do little stuff to each other, in the end everyone pays a price. Not to mention you'll give yourself high blood pressure. And you'll start griping a lot, wondering why your life seems to have so much bad luck.

Seems to me it's easier to handle a problem like that by saying "Oh look, someone has taken a scoop of my detergent. Lesson learned, I won't leave my detergent in the laundry room anymore." Wouldn't that have been a lot easier--not to mention less expensive?
I am into conflict avoidance whenever possible. Sometimes, people have to understand that there has been a line drawn in the sand, so to speak, or they will keep crossing over the line knowing there are no consequences. So in those cases, something has to be said/done but in a calm way.

However, for most things that occur in daily life -- i.e., occurrences with salespeople, neighbors, customer service type things -- the best thing to do is de-escalate the situation so that tempers don't flare or get more heated.

I used to be much more likely to respond directly to folks and feel I had to make sure no one ever "took advantage" of my basically good nature, but the older I get, the less likely I am to take ownership of other people's rude behavior or their thoughtlessness. I just let it go.

There are a lot of people with "issues" out there and I have crossed paths with some seriously mentally ill folks in the past . . . and there is no way to deal with people like that. So I learned -- best to just steer clear and not make issues even if the other person is the aggressor.

I try to remove myself from situations more often than anything else. I have found that sometimes, that really is the best way to handle difficult people. That, and letting things go instead of addressing them, lol.
 
Old 09-25-2013, 09:39 AM
 
3,438 posts, read 4,795,922 times
Reputation: 5403
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
I am into conflict avoidance whenever possible. Sometimes, people have to understand that there has been a line drawn in the sand, so to speak, or they will keep crossing over the line knowing there are no consequences. So in those cases, something has to be said/done but in a calm way.

However, for most things that occur in daily life -- i.e., occurrences with salespeople, neighbors, customer service type things -- the best thing to do is de-escalate the situation so that tempers don't flare or get more heated.

I used to be much more likely to respond directly to folks and feel I had to make sure no one ever "took advantage" of my basically good nature, but the older I get, the less likely I am to take ownership of other people's rude behavior or their thoughtlessness. I just let it go.

There are a lot of people with "issues" out there and I have crossed paths with some seriously mentally ill folks in the past . . . and there is no way to deal with people like that. So I learned -- best to just steer clear and not make issues even if the other person is the aggressor.

I try to remove myself from situations more often than anything else. I have found that sometimes, that really is the best way to handle difficult people. That, and letting things go instead of addressing them, lol.
I have also " mellowed" since I retired.
I feel I am a better person for finally doing so. I should have mellowed sooner.
 
Old 09-25-2013, 10:04 AM
 
Location: Virginia
18,717 posts, read 27,128,339 times
Reputation: 42872
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teddy52 View Post
I have also " mellowed" since I retired.
I feel I am a better person for finally doing so. I should have mellowed sooner.
I'm with you on that one. When I was younger I thought it meant I would be seen as the weaker person. As I get older, I appreciate the strength of the person who can stay mellow.

I agree there are moments when a stand has to be taken, but those moments aren't as often as we think. And when you do need to take a stand, the best route usually involves dealing with someone directly--pranks are funny on sitcoms but don't work so well in the real world. Just my opinion, of course. I also agree with Ani that the best stands are taken when you've allowed yourself to stand apart from a problem. Action usually works out much better than reaction.
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