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Old 08-04-2014, 12:07 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,156,636 times
Reputation: 15656

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Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
That's what I have been doing my entire life, so I don't have a problem with it being done that way. Husband is the one who insisted it all be completed before we move in. His problem now is - he is upset b/c it hasn't gone fast enough.

And I am tired of the hell-raising b/c no one can make it all happen in 6 weeks.

So I am calling the movers and having it dumped in and then hubby can just figure it all out through the chaos. He cannot abide disorder.

I always did renovations when he was out of town while he was working. And all the mountain house stuff is done when he isn't there. He is OCD and can't handle the chaos and I can't handle his going ballistic.
Just my two cents, but if he cannot handle chaos, moving everything into the TH in one swoop may send him over the top. Maybe you could put him to work making box labels, red for the LR, blue for bath, etc etc. Something so he has some role and doesn't take on any other!
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Old 08-04-2014, 12:17 PM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 8,418,870 times
Reputation: 7530
Ani, he needs meds! This is so not fair to you! You shouldn't have to tiptoe around his emotions all the time.

And what is he doing to help? Anything?

Why the deadline? (did I forget? sorry)
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Old 08-04-2014, 12:38 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,596,932 times
Reputation: 22437
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
Just my two cents, but if he cannot handle chaos, moving everything into the TH in one swoop may send him over the top. Maybe you could put him to work making box labels, red for the LR, blue for bath, etc etc. Something so he has some role and doesn't take on any other!
You must have a very different spouse than mine. He has never packed, unpacked or labeled a box in his life. Well, the stuff from his study, lol.

And he will not cooperate with what he considers busy work.

He can go to the mountain house if he isn't happy at the townhouse, lol. I am just tired of the bitchin' and complainin' -- as it is all aimed at me (how I am not MAKING folks move fast enough). Rome wasn't built in a day -- or even six weeks.

He just wants something to be angry about.
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Old 08-04-2014, 12:43 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,596,932 times
Reputation: 22437
Quote:
Originally Posted by CCc girl View Post
Ani, he needs meds! This is so not fair to you! You shouldn't have to tiptoe around his emotions all the time.

And what is he doing to help? Anything?

Why the deadline? (did I forget? sorry)
He has never packed, unpacked, labeled anything, etc and we have moved households around (or partial households - and across country, too) - 7 times.

His doc gave him prozac but said it would take a month to build up in his blood serum (i had always heard 2 weeks) but it appears it is making him nauseous so I don't know how long he will stick with it.

Getting out of the house (getting in his car and going shopping) is the one thing that seems to calm him down.

I have no idea how he is interacting with sales people and do not want to know, lol.

He has never had "road rage" so I don't think that would ever be a problem.

We were supposed to head to the mountain house on Sat but he wasn't feeling well and said he wanted to stay here another week (in Charlotte).

WHen I pack a box, he gets very agitated about it being "in his way." So I just have to get him the hell outta here. I had to quit packing b/c the boxes are aggravating him.

WHen I move stuff to the townhouse, it will be basically furniture and so very few boxes. The boxes will come later. I will probably need to make 3 moves to that house!!! But hey - I am used to it. I have my methods. Just need him out from under my feet.
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Old 08-04-2014, 12:45 PM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 8,418,870 times
Reputation: 7530
My DH is the cranky type but rarely is it directed at me. I would square off and let him have it if it were me. 'Yer beotching ain't gettin' this done, so put up or shut up.'

Unfortunately, in a long relationship where you worked around someone's shortcomings it may be too late..........

Then you also have the 'it's easier just to put up with it' scenario.......

Dunno. Feeling bad for ani..........
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Old 08-04-2014, 12:56 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,596,932 times
Reputation: 22437
Quote:
Originally Posted by CCc girl View Post
My DH is the cranky type but rarely is it directed at me. I would square off and let him have it if it were me. 'Yer beotching ain't gettin' this done, so put up or shut up.'

Unfortunately, in a long relationship where you worked around someone's shortcomings it may be too late..........

Then you also have the 'it's easier just to put up with it' scenario.......

Dunno. Feeling bad for ani..........
I do appreciate some sympathy (cause it gets awfully old hearing the negative comments about me, aimed towards me, and in general). BUT . . . as you said, I have worked around his being somewhat OCD for years. It just wasn't much of a real problem when he was working and gone a lot overnight -- and at one time - he was gone for months at a time and just here on the weekends (or I would go stay wherever he was for a week or two here and there - wh/ was fun).

He is at loose ends, miserable, not feeling well, frustrated and uncooperative. Moving has always torn him up. His solution to not have to deal with it was to have an estate sale and just sale everything and start over.

Mind you, the majority of this "stuff" he was so willing to sell is MINE - inherited or purchased by me before he and I were even married. So it isn't his "stuff" to mess with much less dispose.

I don't even know how to explain his behavior. He will go to pieces b/c the floor is wet WHEN IT IS RAINING and when he is the one dragging the wet shoes inside. This is just who he is these days.

I am planning some time with my "girlfriends" this week and that should be a good break.
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Old 08-04-2014, 01:06 PM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 8,418,870 times
Reputation: 7530
Can you give him an assignment? A honey do list? Maybe he feels useless and it angers him.

Yeah, you sure do need a girls night out.
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Old 08-04-2014, 04:59 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,596,932 times
Reputation: 22437
Quote:
Originally Posted by CCc girl View Post
Can you give him an assignment? A honey do list? Maybe he feels useless and it angers him.

Yeah, you sure do need a girls night out.
I have tried doing that. He typically ignores the list or acts like such a martyr if he DOES anything on the list. The only thing he seems to respond to now is -- my putting things on a list for him to go and buy.

He used to not be that way. He would make up his OWN list and then ask me to add to it. Now, that worked out just fine.
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Old 08-05-2014, 07:53 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,596,932 times
Reputation: 22437
Found this list of "best movies currently streaming on Netflix" and thought others might be interested.

Sightseers | Complex
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Old 08-05-2014, 07:32 PM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
3,756 posts, read 4,269,675 times
Reputation: 6868
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Found this list of "best movies currently streaming on Netflix" and thought others might be interested.

Sightseers | Complex
You're not going to watch this with your spouse, right? RIGHT??
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