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Old 10-10-2014, 03:55 AM
 
Location: Florida
20,143 posts, read 20,252,538 times
Reputation: 23757

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Thankfully, I had nothing as large as a tractor collection to deal with but otherwise the last 6 weeks have been spent trying to sell, give away or donate every single thing in my house, down to the last toothpick.

After considering all the options, it only made sense to fly back to Florida to a house already fully furnished and outfitted and where I had had to leave my car this spring.Local Facebook online sale sites, eBay and Craigslist took care of a lot of what was suitable for each. And, of course, an in-house moving sale.
It certainly is a tough way to decide what is worth sending down out of the accumulation of an over 50 year married life.(USPS ended up being the best option, believe it or not)
Thanks to Southwest Air, almost 80 lbs flew free in two checked bags.

Now, as a new Florida resident, I sit here trying to assimilate all I did ship down into an already settled household which has required reorganizing every cupboard and closet .
I had forgotten that things were left as if 'we' would be returning and so faced what I thought had already been done....taking care of all my husbands things.
Once I get it all done, I will have one organized house!! Maybe....maybe... I can keep it that way by following the "don't put it down, put it away" rule

Last edited by old_cold; 10-10-2014 at 04:08 AM..

 
Old 10-10-2014, 07:08 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,633,970 times
Reputation: 22439
Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold View Post
Thankfully, I had nothing as large as a tractor collection to deal with but otherwise the last 6 weeks have been spent trying to sell, give away or donate every single thing in my house, down to the last toothpick.

After considering all the options, it only made sense to fly back to Florida to a house already fully furnished and outfitted and where I had had to leave my car this spring.Local Facebook online sale sites, eBay and Craigslist took care of a lot of what was suitable for each. And, of course, an in-house moving sale.
It certainly is a tough way to decide what is worth sending down out of the accumulation of an over 50 year married life.(USPS ended up being the best option, believe it or not)
Thanks to Southwest Air, almost 80 lbs flew free in two checked bags.

Now, as a new Florida resident, I sit here trying to assimilate all I did ship down into an already settled household which has required reorganizing every cupboard and closet .
I had forgotten that things were left as if 'we' would be returning and so faced what I thought had already been done....taking care of all my husbands things.
Once I get it all done, I will have one organized house!! Maybe....maybe... I can keep it that way by following the "don't put it down, put it away" rule
That was a Herculean task and since I am in the same sort of process (and not doing very well with it) -- I am amazed at how quickly you have been able to take care of all this.

I know you will enjoy Florida. Perfect time of year to make the transition - before the weather turns bad "up North."

I only discovered my local FB online sales pages a few weeks ago. Have not attempted to post anything as of yet. Not sure what I even want to sell, lol. I always donated things in the past to bypass having to deal with all the details of folks coming to the house. However, this time, it would sure be nice to sell some items and make money to defray the cost of moving. Sounds like you had good success with FB pages as well as Craigslist. That gives me more initiative to make some decisions and sell some items.

Glad you are settling in, old_cold!
 
Old 10-10-2014, 07:10 AM
 
Location: Floyd Co, VA
3,423 posts, read 5,210,143 times
Reputation: 7276
Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold View Post
Once I get it all done, I will have one organized house!! Maybe....maybe... I can keep it that way by following the "don't put it down, put it away" rule
A few years ago I had really let the house get very disorganized. As I got each area cleared of stuff that did not belong I literally put up signs saying

"Clutter free zone - NO DUMPING"

to help break myself of the bad habit of putting it down, rather than putting it away. It helped remind me to look around before leaving a room, grab the almost empty coffee cup sitting next to the computer, the sweatshirt I'd taken off after the day warmed up, etc. I'm still not eligible for a good housekeeping award but things are much, much better, even the books. It helps that now about 95% of the books that I purchase are electronic and on my Kindle.
 
Old 10-10-2014, 07:54 AM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,516 posts, read 1,741,983 times
Reputation: 9036
Going back and forth between NY and FL has me seeing each place clearly when I get there. It's so easy to not really see things when you see them every day.

We rode our bikes to the kids last night, it was such a nice evening for it and felt good.

A neighbor from down the street stopped us about a mile from home as they drove by us on our bikes. He proceeded to tell us about a kerfuffle he was involved in. He was trash talking the South very loudly in a quiet residential neighborhood. OMG, SHUT UP!! I’m sure he will move back to NY complaining about how Southerners don’t like New Yorkers. Some people are almost caricatures in real life and live up to the stereotypes people have.

So anyway, we had a nice ride with an idiot in the middle.

Last edited by jean_ji; 10-10-2014 at 08:11 AM..
 
Old 10-10-2014, 09:20 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,633,970 times
Reputation: 22439
Quote:
Originally Posted by jean_ji View Post
Going back and forth between NY and FL has me seeing each place clearly when I get there. It's so easy to not really see things when you see them every day.

We rode our bikes to the kids last night, it was such a nice evening for it and felt good.

A neighbor from down the street stopped us about a mile from home as they drove by us on our bikes. He proceeded to tell us about a kerfuffle he was involved in. He was trash talking the South very loudly in a quiet residential neighborhood. OMG, SHUT UP!! I’m sure he will move back to NY complaining about how Southerners don’t like New Yorkers. Some people are almost caricatures in real life and live up to the stereotypes people have.

So anyway, we had a nice ride with an idiot in the middle.
Hee Hee.

I could envision the scene with the bikes and the loud neighbor. Dear me. Yes, he will be viewed as obnoxious, not just for the comments specifically, but just for being "an obnoxious loudmouth from the North."

I think when one grows up in an urban environment, things like talking in a quiet voice are affected. Southerners (well-bred folks, anyway) consider raised voices to be an aggressive stance and a likely prequel to violence. I don't think folks from other regions understand how important TONE is to Southerners. The art of sarcasm/innuendo is finely honed here . . .

I saw a meme last night and laughed so loud I worried the neighbors would hear me (my windows were open). It had a prissy lady in a hat holding a tea cup and saying . . . "I am from the South, Darlin'. I will "Bless Your Heart" and then smack the sheeyut out of you. And then bring you a casserole."

So true. We won't take the abuse, but we really do want to remain cordial and civil, even if only on the surface!
 
Old 10-10-2014, 11:03 AM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,516 posts, read 1,741,983 times
Reputation: 9036
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Hee Hee.

I could envision the scene with the bikes and the loud neighbor. Dear me. Yes, he will be viewed as obnoxious, not just for the comments specifically, but just for being "an obnoxious loudmouth from the North."

I think when one grows up in an urban environment, things like talking in a quiet voice are affected. Southerners (well-bred folks, anyway) consider raised voices to be an aggressive stance and a likely prequel to violence. I don't think folks from other regions understand how important TONE is to Southerners. The art of sarcasm/innuendo is finely honed here . . .

I saw a meme last night and laughed so loud I worried the neighbors would hear me (my windows were open). It had a prissy lady in a hat holding a tea cup and saying . . . "I am from the South, Darlin'. I will "Bless Your Heart" and then smack the sheeyut out of you. And then bring you a casserole."

So true. We won't take the abuse, but we really do want to remain cordial and civil, even if only on the surface!
I never connected growing up in a loud environment with being loud in voice, interesting observation. It explains two of my neighbors in NY, both city born and raised, nice people but LOUD.

Last edited by jean_ji; 10-10-2014 at 11:33 AM..
 
Old 10-10-2014, 03:04 PM
 
494 posts, read 890,401 times
Reputation: 1348
I was once on line in a bank in a southern town where behind me there was apparently some difference of opinion about who was ahead of whom.

First, what was interesting to me (and, at that time, entirely new to my experience) is that these ladies sounded like long-time acquaintances in how they conversed, even though from certain specific things said it was apparent they were strangers.

Where I grew up (northeast city kid from not the very roughest of neighborhoods but not a genteel one either), the conversation would have been short, not ten minutes like this one--someone would have called out, “Hey, no cutting the line” or (exceptionally polite person using lower volume but still clearly audible voice) “Excuse me, but we were all in line here first. I think the end of the line is [pointing] there.” (By the way, I’m just talking here about norms for social civility where I grew up versus some other places I’ve lived; I wouldn’t hazard a guess about what’s beneath the surface--i.e., percentage of genuine golden-rule people in one place versus another.)

This bank conversation was such an interesting dance of each trying to claim the better spot on line based on need rather than right to it, avoiding expressing any overt criticism and in fact instead voicing concern for the other’s needs. (“The only reason I’m in such a hurry today...” met by “Any other day, I’d say just go on ahead of me, but today I have my family with me, waiting in the car outside.” Etc.) I really thought they were going to end by making lunch plans; instead the one just told the other to “Give my best to your family” (yes, the ones in the car whom she’d never met!).

It was so interesting to me at the time, the cultural differences. (This was decades ago, but from what’s being said here, I guess these differences still exist to some extent?)

Having lived a number of places in the years since, this would no longer be such a striking conversation to me, and I think (hope) that something that was good about conversations like this has rubbed off on me. I certainly appreciate that where I live now in Southwest Florida people are generally friendly toward strangers in a way that would have been unimaginable to my childhood self. It makes life so much more pleasant.

And I understand better the value of the art of being able to defuse a potential conflict situation with a friendly approach rather than escalate it by framing the conversation as being exclusively about defending one’s rights against an aggressor. I can see where it would make everyday life more civil, less stressful. I mean really, it would be a better world if we all tried to have regard for other people’s feelings be at least as important a goal as the particular issue at hand.

So witnessing this encounter at the bank was definitely part of my learning process.

Still, it was very striking to me the dance one ends up doing when a direct approach is verboten. I believe in showing consideration for other people’s feelings (I know how much it means to me when someone does this for me) but also think in some situations someone’s willingness to be direct can be a breath of fresh air. It's definitely one of those areas where a balance is needed, and for any of us who grew up, like I did, in a place where things are too far in one direction, we can have our horizons broadened by experiencing other possible approaches.

But I can only imagine the frustration of someone trying to do that dance when the other party has never learned the steps, doesn’t in fact even have the existence of such a dance on their mental map!

Imagine you are trying to convey to someone (relative/in-law, neighbor, coworker, child’s teacher, vendor, etc.) that something they are doing is, unbeknownst to them, causing you considerable distress. If the strongest appeal for change you can make is “Bless your heart,” it must be very frustrating if the other person takes this as “How nice--[other person] seems to really like me. They went out of their way to have such a nice conversation with me today (even though I’m not exactly sure what it was about--they did seem to go in circles a bit). Since I never did figure out what it was in particular that they like so much, I better just keep doing everything exactly the same. And good to know that from their point of view everything is going so well!”
 
Old 10-10-2014, 03:41 PM
 
Location: Great State of Texas
86,093 posts, read 73,157,594 times
Reputation: 27584
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Hee Hee.

I could envision the scene with the bikes and the loud neighbor. Dear me. Yes, he will be viewed as obnoxious, not just for the comments specifically, but just for being "an obnoxious loudmouth from the North."

I think when one grows up in an urban environment, things like talking in a quiet voice are affected. Southerners (well-bred folks, anyway) consider raised voices to be an aggressive stance and a likely prequel to violence. I don't think folks from other regions understand how important TONE is to Southerners. The art of sarcasm/innuendo is finely honed here . . .

I saw a meme last night and laughed so loud I worried the neighbors would hear me (my windows were open). It had a prissy lady in a hat holding a tea cup and saying . . . "I am from the South, Darlin'. I will "Bless Your Heart" and then smack the sheeyut out of you. And then bring you a casserole."

So true. We won't take the abuse, but we really do want to remain cordial and civil, even if only on the surface!
And Texans have their own way.
This morning I was out and overheard "He must have had a big bowl of stupid this morning for breakfast"

Texas is as friendly too when it comes to strangers although not much now in the big cities.
It's more like talking to your neighbor then total strangers.
 
Old 10-10-2014, 07:37 PM
 
Location: too far from the sea
20,328 posts, read 19,311,428 times
Reputation: 34750
I won't live in a place where the people are rude. It's the little things like someone holding a door open for another person or in a store, someone saying, "Excuse me" when they walk in front of you. A driver letting you get into the line of traffic, someone offering you their shopping cart when they're done with it and they see you searching for one.

Most people here are polite and friendly but, ironically, one time I was in the absolute snootiest of the neighboring towns and was treated rudely. One of the towns that has multimillion $$ mansions overlooking the sea--I went there for their bookstore, to look at the ocean, and then decided to mail a package in their post office. Well. Since the package already had pre-printed postage on it, I started to just leave it on the counter but a stern and mean looking woman, older than I am, started pointing to the back of the line. I tried to explain but she kept pointing. I felt like a bad kid trying to cut in line! I did go to the end of the line and waited but I probably should have stood up to her. However, she would not speak, just pointed.
You can find rudeness in the "best" of places.
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Old 10-11-2014, 06:51 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,171,694 times
Reputation: 15656
Lost three dear people this week. Other dear, vibrant friends in just the past year. These people have helped define my life. I realize more and more how short life is, and I'm impressed more and more with how much people manage to accomplish in such a brief flash of time. If we have dreams to try to make come true, now is the time.
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