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Old 12-27-2014, 08:13 AM
 
Location: Florida
20,126 posts, read 20,246,972 times
Reputation: 23753

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AZDesertBrat . I always admire the attitudes reflected in your postings and hope that it's a hint that you will be able handle all of this with the same competence and grace.

 
Old 12-27-2014, 08:42 AM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,764 posts, read 9,837,465 times
Reputation: 11350
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhxBarb View Post
I am so sorry for your loss, AZ. It brings back memories of what I did, just 2+ years ago with my Mom. We had to take her back to Illinois for burial and the whole scene was just a blur for a long time. I hope you will be okay and be back to semi normal soon. Keep us posted. Barb
Thanks Barb. I remember when you had to go through all that. What a trying time!

I'll be okay. Nothing in my life has killed me yet so I know I'll do alright. It's just so 'new' right now and taking some getting used to.
 
Old 12-27-2014, 08:46 AM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,764 posts, read 9,837,465 times
Reputation: 11350
Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold View Post
AZDesertBrat . I always admire the attitudes reflected in your postings and hope that it's a hint that you will be able handle all of this with the same competence and grace.
Thank you. Don't know about that "competence and grace" thing but I'll give it my best shot. I'm one of those that generally stay on top of things till it's all over and then I deflate. With each day that passes it doesn't get "easier" but I'm accepting it more and more each day.
 
Old 12-28-2014, 06:30 AM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 8,425,565 times
Reputation: 7530
Brat, remember the love and the joy. Everything else is BS.

Hugs

CCc Girl
 
Old 12-28-2014, 08:16 AM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,764 posts, read 9,837,465 times
Reputation: 11350
Quote:
Originally Posted by CCc girl View Post
Brat, remember the love and the joy. Everything else is BS.

Hugs

CCc Girl
Thank you. I'm working on it!
 
Old 12-28-2014, 11:47 AM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 8,425,565 times
Reputation: 7530
Don't work too hard. Smile when you think of her, and sieze the day. I keep telling myself the ones that have passed want you to be happy, not writhing in pain and grief. It took awhile to sink in, but it's true. JM2C
 
Old 12-28-2014, 12:12 PM
 
6,612 posts, read 5,271,149 times
Reputation: 13700
Quote:
Originally Posted by AZDesertBrat View Post
Hi...I'm here. I felt so bad about venting all over you guys...I really was a mess!...that I haven't been posting. That and things have been crazy.

Mom passed away last Fri., the 19th. The powers that be decided she couldn't stay at the nursing home anymore...no money... and sent her home to die Wed. morning. She made it exactly 48 hours. I didn't see her in that time and had her permission to not have to stand over her and watch her die. I couldn't deal with being around my brother so he's mad at me about that. They didn't come tell me she'd passed for over an hour or I'd have been there. He's all upset that he had to stay with Mom those 48 hours, 16 of them all alone, till his gf got off work. My opinion is it was TIME he spent some time with her and it's too bad she was so close to death she probably didn't even know or care. She and I said our Goodbyes on Tues. evening. I've spent all but one day just sitting here at home. I worked one day out of 7.

Brother is still 'the boss' but at least he's doing something. Mom's viewing will be tomorrow between 3 and 4 PM. I get off work at 3:00 so that works. The memorial will be Sat. Jan. 10th so at least that's in the works. I am writing the obituary, mainly because I know all the info. My brothers don't. They don't even know their maternal grandparents names! Or their aunts and uncles. Yes, they all live(d) in Australia but siblings would have known if they ever took the time to listen. Found out I don't quite 'count' when it comes to being Mom's daughter. Because she didn't adopt me I am barred from making decisions re: her cremation, etc.. Only her 'real' kids have to all agree to it. That hurt. She's been my mother since I was four. That's nearly 70 years. She's been my mother longer than any of my brothers.

The whole family is looking forward to everything being 'over'. After that none of us have to have anything to do with brother if we don't want to. So many people angry with him, not for themselves, but for the rest of us. Can't believe some of the things he's done and is doing. I'll be moving soon and hopefully able to, once again, buy my own home. I'm excited for that but it's going to take time.

Thanks for thinking of me. It's been a rough couple of weeks. Actually closer to three but doesn't seem like it.
Oh wow!! I am so sorry to hear that. I always thought your mom was one of those ladies that would outlive everyone - so sorry!
 
Old 12-28-2014, 03:15 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,169,159 times
Reputation: 15656
I'm sitting here after arriving home from the final holiday family gathering, soooo glad it's all over. Even with minimal responsibility this year, the whole season is stressful to me. Yes I have gratitude, for sure, but I seem to have limited energy for all this hoopla that has distracted the normal daily pattern. New Year's eve, my birthday, will find me in my jammies next to the wood stove watching movies, with wine and cheese and crackers and figs and dates and Belgian chocolates. Then, finally, the New Year and on to spring....
 
Old 12-28-2014, 03:46 PM
 
Location: Nebraska
1,157 posts, read 1,019,889 times
Reputation: 1030
Enjoying our trip to San Diego. Got to watch the Corn play in the Holiday Bowl last night. My wife was disappointed in the outcome. Will be heading home tomorrow.
 
Old 12-28-2014, 07:10 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,764 posts, read 9,837,465 times
Reputation: 11350
Quote:
Originally Posted by CCc girl View Post
Don't work too hard. Smile when you think of her, and sieze the day. I keep telling myself the ones that have passed want you to be happy, not writhing in pain and grief. It took awhile to sink in, but it's true. JM2C
Kinda hard to NOT "work too hard" right now! lol You'd think Christmas was still in the future the way they are flocking to the store for the 50% off sales. Lord help me when they go down to 75% and 90%. And THEN the first of the month rolls around again...

No, Mom wouldn't want me acting like that and I haven't. I've been sad and depressed but I'm starting to come out of it. I NEED to that's for sure.
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