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Old 03-21-2013, 03:55 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,627,864 times
Reputation: 22439

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Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold View Post
My 2 'bestest' grilfriends right from kindergarden on through high school ..friendships that got reignited in our later years...died within a couple of weeks of each other last year.
I have to admit to giving a couple of minutes thought to the old saying/superstition.....
"Death travels in 3's"
Watched the obits every day for my name but guess that one didn't apply this time.
Awwwww . . . that would be so hard . . . losing them both.

My grandfather used to say he could always tell that it would be a good day, if he got up and read the paper and didn't see his name in the obits.

I have never heard that saying -- "death travels in threes."

 
Old 03-21-2013, 04:16 PM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
6,977 posts, read 7,471,322 times
Reputation: 16359
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Oh no! I am sure it still feels very raw, NEG.

For the first two years, I would find myself "forgetting" at times and sitting down to write my dear friend an email - or pick up the phone to call her. Then it would hit me again like a ton of bricks - she is not here; she is not in this plane of existence any longer.

I have been struggling with some depression lately and I remember years ago when I was having a "down time" . . . and H. showed up at my house, dressed from head to toe in pink, lol. Pink hat down to pink sneakers. She looked like a pepto bismol bottle!!!! She was grinning from ear to ear and told me - "okay, we are going out for lunch at this cute bistro I found so let's go find something for you to wear." She dragged me to my closet and started tossing things out - til she had put together an outfit for me that was basically blue, down to my blue polo baseball cap! My, did we two look silly - like children heading to kindergarten in our mono-colored outfits! She giggled all the way.

I laughed so much that day . . . laughed at how silly we looked, laughed at other people looking at us and doubtless thinking how silly we looked.

I got a phone call one morning and on the other end was H. singing "Tomorrow" from Annie. "Okay, Little Miss Annie, the sun always comes out! And if it doesn't, so what! We are not going to let anyone rain on our parade!"

And that was that. She didn't even give me a chance to crawl back into the corner and eat worms. She showed up with a set of gardening tools and said - let's dig up that ground and go get some pansies!

Who in this world cared how I was feeling? I didn't even care how I felt (that is what depression does). And who is this world cared enough to actually show up with a big grin and kick my butt? No one. Not anyone before and no one since.

Those are the things your best friend does for you. No questions asked - they just KNOW. They are just THERE.

She was gardening and fell while both our hubbies were out of town and broke her ankle and injured her knee. She hadn't brought her cell phone outside with her so had to drag herself to the basement and the phone that, thankfully, was down there. I rushed to take her to the hospital in the pouring rain - one of those typical Kansas thunderstorms that comes out of nowhere and includes a tornado watch, which can quickly turn to a warning.

When we pulled up to the ER, the thunder was booming, lightning was flashing all around us, and the water was overflowing the gutters so badly that it was hitting halfway up my calves when I stepped out of the car. I felt desperate and out of ideas how to get H. safely to the door. She was in so much pain; it was written on her face though she hadn't uttered a word.

And then the tornado warning sirens started up.

We were in a mess and no one was nearby to offer assistance.

"We've got a problem," I said.

H. looked at me with forlorn eyes. "Yes, we do. And nothing we can do about it now, " she said. "I have on raggedy underwear."

We both burst out laughing. There I was, soaking wet, standing in a deluge, water rushing around my legs, wondering if a tornado was heading right to us . . .

That was life with H.

When you have a friend you dearly love, it is a loss that cannot be compensated. I try to focus on all she brought to my life, all we shared . . . and be grateful for the time we had together. She was the person who provided the mother love that my mother was/is incapable of giving me. She was my best friend, my sister of the heart.

I know how empty it feels to lose that relationship. I know that isn't any real comfort, except that I hope it lets you know that others of us have survived the loss and found ways to treasure what once was and hold that close. You will never "get over" not having your friend(s) with you, but you come to think of their presence in the past as being this wonderful gift that you carry into the future.

(((HUGS))) newenglandgirl!!!
Ani - You have got to be the sweetest person on this entire board

I lost my mom and a year later I lost my best buddy, just 50 - we were friends since 10th grade. In both cases, I would walk over and pick up the phone thinking "I have to tell Donna/mom about this" and then remember. Tough stuff.

Sorry to hear of your loss and NEG - I'm sorry to hear of yours as well. It's next to impossible to replace those true friendships.
 
Old 03-21-2013, 04:30 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,169,159 times
Reputation: 15656
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Oh no! I am sure it still feels very raw, NEG.

For the first two years, I would find myself "forgetting" at times and sitting down to write my dear friend an email - or pick up the phone to call her. Then it would hit me again like a ton of bricks - she is not here; she is not in this plane of existence any longer.

I have been struggling with some depression lately and I remember years ago when I was having a "down time" . . . and H. showed up at my house, dressed from head to toe in pink, lol. Pink hat down to pink sneakers. She looked like a pepto bismol bottle!!!! She was grinning from ear to ear and told me - "okay, we are going out for lunch at this cute bistro I found so let's go find something for you to wear." She dragged me to my closet and started tossing things out - til she had put together an outfit for me that was basically blue, down to my blue polo baseball cap! My, did we two look silly - like children heading to kindergarten in our mono-colored outfits! She giggled all the way.

I laughed so much that day . . . laughed at how silly we looked, laughed at other people looking at us and doubtless thinking how silly we looked.

I got a phone call one morning and on the other end was H. singing "Tomorrow" from Annie. "Okay, Little Miss Annie, the sun always comes out! And if it doesn't, so what! We are not going to let anyone rain on our parade!"

And that was that. She didn't even give me a chance to crawl back into the corner and eat worms. She showed up with a set of gardening tools and said - let's dig up that ground and go get some pansies!

Who in this world cared how I was feeling? I didn't even care how I felt (that is what depression does). And who is this world cared enough to actually show up with a big grin and kick my butt? No one. Not anyone before and no one since.

Those are the things your best friend does for you. No questions asked - they just KNOW. They are just THERE.

She was gardening and fell while both our hubbies were out of town and broke her ankle and injured her knee. She hadn't brought her cell phone outside with her so had to drag herself to the basement and the phone that, thankfully, was down there. I rushed to take her to the hospital in the pouring rain - one of those typical Kansas thunderstorms that comes out of nowhere and includes a tornado watch, which can quickly turn to a warning.

When we pulled up to the ER, the thunder was booming, lightning was flashing all around us, and the water was overflowing the gutters so badly that it was hitting halfway up my calves when I stepped out of the car. I felt desperate and out of ideas how to get H. safely to the door. She was in so much pain; it was written on her face though she hadn't uttered a word.

And then the tornado warning sirens started up.

We were in a mess and no one was nearby to offer assistance.

"We've got a problem," I said.

H. looked at me with forlorn eyes. "Yes, we do. And nothing we can do about it now, " she said. "I have on raggedy underwear."

We both burst out laughing. There I was, soaking wet, standing in a deluge, water rushing around my legs, wondering if a tornado was heading right to us . . .

That was life with H.

When you have a friend you dearly love, it is a loss that cannot be compensated. I try to focus on all she brought to my life, all we shared . . . and be grateful for the time we had together. She was the person who provided the mother love that my mother was/is incapable of giving me. She was my best friend, my sister of the heart.

I know how empty it feels to lose that relationship. I know that isn't any real comfort, except that I hope it lets you know that others of us have survived the loss and found ways to treasure what once was and hold that close. You will never "get over" not having your friend(s) with you, but you come to think of their presence in the past as being this wonderful gift that you carry into the future.

(((HUGS))) newenglandgirl!!!
Oh how this post comes at a good time. I just took a "down and out" nap at 4:00 pm, down and out over the losses that remind me of dearer losses. I used the "best friend" theme this week in my writing group. Strangely, half the group reported having a hard time with it. I was blessed indeed with these two friends, and sometimes I feel guilty that they nurtured me more than I did them...but I do know that when they got cancer I was there for them. My best who died last year, I was at her bedside on the final day. I could not bring myself to go to her memorial, it was packed with people and two who were to be up at the podium eulogizing her were two who had hurt her in life very much. I couldn't hear that so I didn't go. I feel guilty to this day. How to turn a regular good friend into a best friend, I don't know...it takes a ton of trust. Some people you have that with naturally, and others, though you do things with them, not.
 
Old 03-21-2013, 05:00 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,169,159 times
Reputation: 15656
Well, there's always something to smile about. Which one do you want? I'm torn between the book, the Bic pen, and the pineapple:

Artful caskets of Ghana*Pictures - CBS News
 
Old 03-22-2013, 10:40 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,017 posts, read 17,933,764 times
Reputation: 32336
It's always nice to learn positive things about the accomplishments of regulars here. People who have too much class to brag about themselves sometimes let the information slip out in circumstances where it is relevant to the discussion underway. Such a case is Anifani's accomplishments as a writer, which are very impressive and which you can read in the Writing Forum in a thread I started entitled "People who claim they are writers when they aren't". I'm almost embarrassed to keep posting in the face of such an expert among us, but I will pay close attention to my proofreading and soldier on.
 
Old 03-22-2013, 10:49 AM
 
797 posts, read 1,138,600 times
Reputation: 987
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Awwwww . . . that would be so hard . . . losing them both.

My grandfather used to say he could always tell that it would be a good day, if he got up and read the paper and didn't see his name in the obits.

I have never heard that saying -- "death travels in threes."
a very common saying.
 
Old 03-22-2013, 03:30 PM
 
Location: East Coast
2,907 posts, read 4,629,218 times
Reputation: 4330
Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
Well, I have not noted the least sign of dementia in your posts as yet. In fact, in my private ranking list, I placed you as one of the "best posters" because of the analytical quality and careful factuality of your posts.
Lenora, I would agree 100% with Escort...you are one of my favorite posters.
 
Old 03-22-2013, 03:39 PM
 
Location: East Coast
2,907 posts, read 4,629,218 times
Reputation: 4330
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
When you have a friend you dearly love, it is a loss that cannot be compensated. I try to focus on all she brought to my life, all we shared . . . and be grateful for the time we had together. She was the person who provided the mother love that my mother was/is incapable of giving me. She was my best friend, my sister of the heart.
She sounds like a WONDERFUL friend! How fortunate you were to have her in your life.
 
Old 03-22-2013, 04:56 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,627,864 times
Reputation: 22439
Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
It's always nice to learn positive things about the accomplishments of regulars here. People who have too much class to brag about themselves sometimes let the information slip out in circumstances where it is relevant to the discussion underway. Such a case is Anifani's accomplishments as a writer, which are very impressive and which you can read in the Writing Forum in a thread I started entitled "People who claim they are writers when they aren't". I'm almost embarrassed to keep posting in the face of such an expert among us, but I will pay close attention to my proofreading and soldier on.
Oh, please! I don't even concern myself with my own punctuation -- and often, even syntax -- on forums! Same for chat. I will try to correct an egregious mistake if I catch it in time . . . years of writing for newspapers means I slap things out quickly and move on. It is too much like work to perfect material I am not getting paid to edit, lololol.

My career has not been outstanding at all. What it has been is exactly what I wanted to do.

My mother told me about 10 years ago that she wished I had followed her advice and then I would have had a "real career." She said she just couldn't believe how I had thrown so much talent away.

I was billing out over $100K a year at the time.

So I guess success is all in the eyes of the beholder.

But no, I have done nothing outstanding in my life. I have performed well and consistently and kept clients (and shareholders) happy. I have ventured into several fields including real estate and nursing home administration and healthcare management/marketing. I have had a good time, loved well, and enjoyed the company of interesting people, but I am no big success story, lol.

Last edited by brokensky; 03-22-2013 at 05:20 PM..
 
Old 03-22-2013, 04:59 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,627,864 times
Reputation: 22439
Quote:
Originally Posted by LibraGirl123 View Post
She sounds like a WONDERFUL friend! How fortunate you were to have her in your life.
She was a remarkable lady. She touched many lives with her grace, style and compassion. I think about her nearly every day. I was very fortunate and remind myself to stay focused on how lucky I was to have crossed her path, rather than dwelling on the fact that she is no longer here.
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