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Old 07-05-2015, 06:29 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,766 posts, read 9,841,864 times
Reputation: 11350

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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal2NC View Post
Thank you!! I realize (after a rather awful pity party yesterday) that if I want to improve my situation I'm going to have to actually DO something.

You are my inspiration AZDesertBrat. I'm going over to the local store tomorrow.
Good luck! I hope it's a decent store with good management. Mine is and that's part of what makes it such a good place to work. I actually thought about moving and transferring to another store...which you can do too if you decide to move somewhere else...but I was afraid I'd get a crappy store with bad management. I KNOW mine is great already so I'm staying here. I think you have to be there at least six months before you can request a transfer though.

One word of advice...do NOT say you will be available for any hours. That's open availability and you can be required to work any hours they schedule you including split days off, late shifts with early shift the next day, etc.. I put down 7 AM to 9 PM as my availability and that's where it's stayed. I'm getting ready to change it to 7-7 though. Then, when they were giving me split days off every single week for a few months I said "No more" and changed my availability to Tues. and Wed. off all the time and it's been that way almost three years. You CAN get some things you want. Any questions just PM me and I'll try to answer them. And you can tell them how many hours you want to work. Up to 33 hours is part time. Full time is 34-40. We have people who only work 20 hours a week...their choice.

 
Old 07-05-2015, 07:20 PM
 
Location: Cochise County, AZ
1,353 posts, read 867,042 times
Reputation: 2940
Quote:
Originally Posted by AZDesertBrat View Post
How much longer do you think? I read so much here, from so many people, I can't remember all that's been said! lol You will like it here, I think.
I won't have the car paid off until this fall so it's just a waiting game for me. Glad you enjoyed the fireworks
 
Old 07-05-2015, 07:43 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,882 posts, read 3,382,746 times
Reputation: 12643
Quote:
Originally Posted by AZDesertBrat View Post
Good luck! I hope it's a decent store with good management. Mine is and that's part of what makes it such a good place to work. I actually thought about moving and transferring to another store...which you can do too if you decide to move somewhere else...but I was afraid I'd get a crappy store with bad management. I KNOW mine is great already so I'm staying here. I think you have to be there at least six months before you can request a transfer though.

One word of advice...do NOT say you will be available for any hours. That's open availability and you can be required to work any hours they schedule you including split days off, late shifts with early shift the next day, etc.. I put down 7 AM to 9 PM as my availability and that's where it's stayed. I'm getting ready to change it to 7-7 though. Then, when they were giving me split days off every single week for a few months I said "No more" and changed my availability to Tues. and Wed. off all the time and it's been that way almost three years. You CAN get some things you want. Any questions just PM me and I'll try to answer them. And you can tell them how many hours you want to work. Up to 33 hours is part time. Full time is 34-40. We have people who only work 20 hours a week...their choice.
Thank you for the information. It's always good to know how to at least start out with hours and days. I am also going to Wegman's which is a very large food store in NY and other states (of course I can't remember them right now!). I have a few friends who work there and have heard it's a great place to work. Time will tell.

I need to get out of this rut I'm in. My daughter has done her last thing to me. No more. Will not tolerate any more of what she has done to me for past 30+ years. I've stayed miserable and felt like a failure for too many years and with my remaining years I will not let her do that to me again.

Maybe if I can at least get part of my debt resolved I'll be able to take a risk and get the heck out of Dodge. My sister is another reason I stay. She is terminally ill and when I saw her today I thought it probably won't be a whole lot longer. I know that probably sounds callus and others may decide what a cold person I am, but all they have to do is wear my shoes for a mile.
 
Old 07-05-2015, 11:12 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
5,102 posts, read 3,578,192 times
Reputation: 10943
When my mother was so sick & had Alzheimer's, in her lucid moments she wished for death. Her greatest joy had been reading but, with her illness, she forgot what she'd read & life was pure misery for her. It was a blessing for her when she passed. So, yes, at least one of us understands.
 
Old 07-06-2015, 07:23 AM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 8,427,479 times
Reputation: 7530
That's the spirit NYgal!!!!!!! Carpe Diem!!!!!!
 
Old 07-06-2015, 07:51 AM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,766 posts, read 9,841,864 times
Reputation: 11350
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal2NC View Post
Thank you for the information. It's always good to know how to at least start out with hours and days. I am also going to Wegman's which is a very large food store in NY and other states (of course I can't remember them right now!). I have a few friends who work there and have heard it's a great place to work. Time will tell.

I need to get out of this rut I'm in. My daughter has done her last thing to me. No more. Will not tolerate any more of what she has done to me for past 30+ years. I've stayed miserable and felt like a failure for too many years and with my remaining years I will not let her do that to me again.

Maybe if I can at least get part of my debt resolved I'll be able to take a risk and get the heck out of Dodge. My sister is another reason I stay. She is terminally ill and when I saw her today I thought it probably won't be a whole lot longer. I know that probably sounds callus and others may decide what a cold person I am, but all they have to do is wear my shoes for a mile.
Good luck with the job hunt. I know you'll start to feel better once you start to really DO something to get out of this situation. It's the getting started that's hard sometimes.

You know, maybe it's time to just stop caring about what happens between your daughter and you. If it were me I'd have stopped caring long ago. There have been things with my kids where I've had to do that and, believe me, the pressure being off is good. Easier said than done, maybe, but is it worth your bad feelings to keep caring and trying? It hurts when our kids don't seem to care, don't stay in touch and, maybe, make you think it's your 'fault' but we can learn to deal.

No, I don't think you are being "callus". It hurts like crazy to watch someone you love die a little each day. My mom's passing is still fresh in my mind and watching her go downhill for only 11 days was very hard. In some ways it's a big relief, for them and for us, even though it will continue to hurt for some time. I really missed my mom watching those fireworks because that was a big deal for us every year. Nobody to ohhh and ahhh with!
 
Old 07-06-2015, 07:53 AM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,766 posts, read 9,841,864 times
Reputation: 11350
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deelighted View Post
I won't have the car paid off until this fall so it's just a waiting game for me. Glad you enjoyed the fireworks
My car will be paid off soon too. I could pay it off today but don't want to take that much out of savings at one time. The good thing is that I will continue to 'pay' but it'll go into my savings instead! Yay! I have to make up for all that money I spent buying my house. lol
 
Old 07-06-2015, 10:31 AM
 
Location: Central NY
4,882 posts, read 3,382,746 times
Reputation: 12643
Thank you all with your affirming posts.

Had some business to take care of today both on phone and computer. When I got around to looking into Walmart and Wegman's for jobs, I realized I have a headache and I can't read the small print right now. Took a couple of Tylenol generics and had some lunch but headache hangs on.

Might wait till tomorrow to fill out applications. My eyesight (not very good with small print) stops me from applying as I think what if I need to read small print on the job.

I'll get past this one, too.

Re daughter, she instigated the reconnect promising a fix for what has been wrong between us. And silly me. Wishful thinking. I'm OK with it. Just determined not to open my heart to her again. You have been terrific in your support. Things I read in magazines (a mother's love is forever) make me feel guilty as for me it is not necessarily true.
 
Old 07-07-2015, 03:44 PM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 8,427,479 times
Reputation: 7530
NYgal, make no mistake, you still love your daughter. You don't LIKE how she behaves. That's OK, there's nothing wrong with that. Loving your child does not include being bullied/used/abused.

Reading glasses ae a buck at the dollar store. All the cashiers over thirty have them at my stores.

Sounds like your headache is due to not eating in time. I have to watch out for that. With my slow recovery from rhinitis things taste like crap, but I have to eat something. Choked down some salmon today. The cats got half. Would have made a burger but it's too hot to cook. I get a screaming headache if I don't eat. Side effect of the paleo lifestyle.
 
Old 07-07-2015, 03:57 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,882 posts, read 3,382,746 times
Reputation: 12643
Quote:
Originally Posted by CCc girl View Post
NYgal, make no mistake, you still love your daughter. You don't LIKE how she behaves. That's OK, there's nothing wrong with that. Loving your child does not include being bullied/used/abused.

Reading glasses ae a buck at the dollar store. All the cashiers over thirty have them at my stores.

Sounds like your headache is due to not eating in time. I have to watch out for that. With my slow recovery from rhinitis things taste like crap, but I have to eat something. Choked down some salmon today. The cats got half. Would have made a burger but it's too hot to cook. I get a screaming headache if I don't eat. Side effect of the paleo lifestyle.
My headache was due to stress. Pretty sure of that. I hardly ever miss a meal.

I think it is presumptuous to say I still love my daughter. You can try my shoes on and walk a mile if you like.
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