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Old 07-07-2015, 04:36 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
5,102 posts, read 3,578,192 times
Reputation: 10943

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Nygal, it is tough when we decide to let go. I had no idea where my son was for 5 years. Then, out of the blue he called & asked if he could come over. Ended up staying the night & he made no real sense. He then spent a few days at a motel he could not afford & ended up turning himself into his probation officer because he'd left his group home. No, I knew none of this. He was sent to a mental health facility & for the next 6 months kept me dangling, running errands, buying him things I could not afford, etc. It took his threatening my family because they wouldn't give him money for me to cut off all communication.

I consider myself lucky he does not know where I am & try to keep in mind how sad &, yes, dangerous mental illness can be.
Sometimes we just have to distance ourselves to retain OUR sanity.

 
Old 07-07-2015, 04:53 PM
Status: "Support the Mining Law of 1872" (set 19 days ago)
 
Location: Cody, WY
9,668 posts, read 11,127,014 times
Reputation: 19463
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal2NC View Post
My headache was due to stress. Pretty sure of that. I hardly ever miss a meal.

I think it is presumptuous to say I still love my daughter. You can try my shoes on and walk a mile if you like.
Quote:
Originally Posted by meo92953 View Post
Nygal, it is tough when we decide to let go. I had no idea where my son was for 5 years. Then, out of the blue he called & asked if he could come over. Ended up staying the night & he made no real sense. He then spent a few days at a motel he could not afford & ended up turning himself into his probation officer because he'd left his group home. No, I knew none of this. He was sent to a mental health facility & for the next 6 months kept me dangling, running errands, buying him things I could not afford, etc. It took his threatening my family because they wouldn't give him money for me to cut off all communication.

I consider myself lucky he does not know where I am & try to keep in mind how sad &, yes, dangerous mental illness can be.
Sometimes we just have to distance ourselves to retain OUR sanity.
I'll take animals any day. I'm very happy to be childless.
 
Old 07-07-2015, 04:57 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,882 posts, read 3,382,746 times
Reputation: 12643
Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy in Wyoming View Post
I'll take animals any day. I'm very happy to be childless.

I have no excuse other than I did not know any better. I was too young.

Looking back, I would not have married the man I did. I would not have had kids.

Animals are so easy. Show them an ounce of love and they give you a gallon back.
 
Old 07-07-2015, 05:00 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,882 posts, read 3,382,746 times
Reputation: 12643
Quote:
Originally Posted by meo92953 View Post
Nygal, it is tough when we decide to let go. I had no idea where my son was for 5 years. Then, out of the blue he called & asked if he could come over. Ended up staying the night & he made no real sense. He then spent a few days at a motel he could not afford & ended up turning himself into his probation officer because he'd left his group home. No, I knew none of this. He was sent to a mental health facility & for the next 6 months kept me dangling, running errands, buying him things I could not afford, etc. It took his threatening my family because they wouldn't give him money for me to cut off all communication.

I consider myself lucky he does not know where I am & try to keep in mind how sad &, yes, dangerous mental illness can be.
Sometimes we just have to distance ourselves to retain OUR sanity.
Sounds like a very hard time. I am glad that you are now free from it.

I am so tired of it. My two sisters and I never gave our parents this kind of pain. They gave US pain, but back in those days, it didn't seem to matter.

Meo92953, we belong to a club that not many people understand. We draw strength from each other.
 
Old 07-07-2015, 05:45 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
5,102 posts, read 3,578,192 times
Reputation: 10943
Exactly. It's been 3 years since I saw him & to be honest, that is just fine with me. It was a tough time for me. I'm now in a senior building & have SSDI due to the car accident.

The only drawback is that I cannot have my beloved cat but, he is with my brother, only 9 miles away, so I can still see him.
 
Old 07-07-2015, 05:58 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,882 posts, read 3,382,746 times
Reputation: 12643
Quote:
Originally Posted by meo92953 View Post
Exactly. It's been 3 years since I saw him & to be honest, that is just fine with me. It was a tough time for me. I'm now in a senior building & have SSDI due to the car accident.

The only drawback is that I cannot have my beloved cat but, he is with my brother, only 9 miles away, so I can still see him.
People don't really understand how bad it can be with kids. TV lies to them, friends lie to them, they lie to themselves. I always used to think my ex never should have been a father.

Realizing now I should not have been a mother.

Maybe your apartment management will change their policy on pets at some time?? I hope so.
 
Old 07-07-2015, 06:35 PM
 
Location: Nebraska
1,157 posts, read 1,020,323 times
Reputation: 1030
It's so sad that so many young people choose to embrace the gangster culture/ path to nowhere
 
Old 07-07-2015, 06:47 PM
 
Location: Floyd Co, VA
3,423 posts, read 5,210,143 times
Reputation: 7276
Tim, the guy who pastures some of his horses here hayed the pastures this year. His dad came and did most of the cutting and today they started baling. They put up 173 square bales in my equipment shed where I used to have a couple of dog runs. His dad took another 95 bales home. That all came from the far side of the creek and tomorrow they will bale the fields on the road side of the creek, probably get at least another 100 bales.

Once everything is baled they can move the horses out the north pasture and bushhog that section, much of it is too boggy to hay. The goat will be happy to be able to get up on "his" rocks, which are 3 huge flat ones stacked one on top of another and they are about 5 ft high. I believe they got pulled up when the farm pond was dug. Tim is going to yank out a small magnolia tree that has never done well and finally died this past winter and deal with the two huge tree rounds that never got split. They are about 42" across and one has a splitting maul stuck in the center but that's as far as anyone got in dealing with them. Then I can get the stump guy to come grind out the two stumps, they should be plenty dried out by now, it's been several years since I had those 2 huge silver maples taken down before mother nature came along and did it for me.

I'll be able to take the dogs out for some good walks and not have to worry about close encounters of the slithery kind with the tall grass gone. We all need the exercise.
 
Old 07-07-2015, 06:52 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,017 posts, read 17,939,286 times
Reputation: 32336
Quote:
Originally Posted by meo92953 View Post
Nygal, it is tough when we decide to let go. I had no idea where my son was for 5 years. Then, out of the blue he called & asked if he could come over. Ended up staying the night & he made no real sense. He then spent a few days at a motel he could not afford & ended up turning himself into his probation officer because he'd left his group home. No, I knew none of this. He was sent to a mental health facility & for the next 6 months kept me dangling, running errands, buying him things I could not afford, etc. It took his threatening my family because they wouldn't give him money for me to cut off all communication.

I consider myself lucky he does not know where I am & try to keep in mind how sad &, yes, dangerous mental illness can be.
Sometimes we just have to distance ourselves to retain OUR sanity.
I cannot even conceive of the pain you have endured. And I so wish your experience were a rare one, but even among my circle of relatives and acquaintances there are several cases of adult children of about that level of severity. One dear set of friends lost their only child, a daughter, to suicide when she was 24, way back in 1994. And their pain didn't begin with her death, as they had gone through several years of her drug use and downward spirals. There are no words, at least no words that I have, as my powers of expression do not extend that far.
 
Old 07-07-2015, 08:11 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
5,102 posts, read 3,578,192 times
Reputation: 10943
Thank you, Escort Rider, for those words.

And thank you, Zugor, for getting us back on track.
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