U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 10-14-2015, 08:43 AM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 8,427,479 times
Reputation: 7530

Advertisements

LOL guys, I got that ticket twenty years ago while I was still pretty hot and young.

 
Old 10-14-2015, 08:48 AM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,516 posts, read 1,741,983 times
Reputation: 9036
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal2NC View Post
I've been plodding along, making my payments every month, trying to not get discouraged too much. But then something dumb like this speeding ticket comes along and I'm kicking myself in the butt because I know there is no extra to pay it, I have to charge it. It's frustrating after a while. Pay down one debt, start building another. How do you get off this roller coaster?

I am getting things together to apply for reduction in rent. Hoping it's a good enough difference to give me some breathing room.

I had thought about going for a cheaper Medicare supplement.... but the way things are looking right now, I believe that would be a mistake.
It's always a toss up with money and what's best.

We had a fallen tree in our side yard and called several tree companies for estimates. Our yard guy came along and gave us a nice price for cutting it up and hauling it away and we took the cheap route.

The problem is the one guy who gave an estimate knew his trees. He wanted to remove the one and cut down two others and trim three more. We thought he was padding the bill honestly. He thought there was instability going on with the ground and that stand of trees and gave his recommendation.

Two weeks later and one of the trees he wanted to cut down fell. He's coming Monday to do the work he estimated. Cheap ends up costing more sometimes. We should have gone with him from the start. Hindsight is annoying.
 
Old 10-14-2015, 10:18 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,774,833 times
Reputation: 29102
Quote:
Originally Posted by jean_ji View Post
It's always a toss up with money and what's best.

We had a fallen tree in our side yard and called several tree companies for estimates. Our yard guy came along and gave us a nice price for cutting it up and hauling it away and we took the cheap route.

The problem is the one guy who gave an estimate knew his trees. He wanted to remove the one and cut down two others and trim three more. We thought he was padding the bill honestly. He thought there was instability going on with the ground and that stand of trees and gave his recommendation.

Two weeks later and one of the trees he wanted to cut down fell. He's coming Monday to do the work he estimated. Cheap ends up costing more sometimes. We should have gone with him from the start. Hindsight is annoying.
Who among us hasn't had a number of, "If only I had..." moments during our lifetimes? I think it's part of the human condition. Being fallible can decidedly be a pain in the patooty. The best we can hope for is to learn from our mistakes and try our best not to repeat them. Sometimes it actually works!
 
Old 10-14-2015, 11:38 AM
 
655 posts, read 420,336 times
Reputation: 3754
I have something going on that is bothering me. It has nothing to do with anything terrible like disease, death, homelessness, broken hearts, or anything like that. It should not be a big deal at all, but it is bothering me.

I am an old Autistic. I have only known why I am so incredibly different from everyone else for about 10 years. 3 years ago I became active in Autistic activism. I started autHaven, a 4 day retreat created by and for Autistic people, the only one in the world that is affordable by all [over half the participants were on full scholarship] started support groups for Autistics who grew up terribly abused, am working on putting together an Autistic community within a community here in Pueblo, and various other things.

The last several years I have been a strong advocate for Autistic people to embrace our "quirkiness" and not to try to act "normal." [ I advocate for "neurotypical" as a second language, by no means as the only appropriate way]

I have worked some with the Autistic Society of Colorado, and the Autistic society of America and attended their annual conference this summer as it was in Denver this year. Maybe 2 to 3% of the participants were Autistic. We all have our basic "dress normal" outfits which we wore to the conference.

Autistic Society of America is not an Autistic activist group [unfortunately, there tends to be great enmity between Autistic activists and and parent run groups. Attempting to bridge the gap is one reason I am involved]

So, I knew that Autistic Society was having a fund raiser with an auction October 24. I offered to make Autistic Pride necklaces to auction off.

Once a month we participate in a get together with the society at a pizza place. There is one quiet man with his "low functioning" son that usually sits alone, so our family goes out of our way to give him and his son attention.

A couple of weeks ago, we were at the get-together and the man [I don't even remember his name] asked Bobby and I if we were going to the Gala. We told him that we were not because we heard it was a little pricey. He told us that he had 'bought" a table and invited us to come as his guests. We gratefully said yes. it sounded fun.

We went home and I looked it up online. I was blown away. The tickets are $200 a person! And then they expect to make more money from the auction. The attendees are going to be rich, uber rich, NORMAL people, who usually cannot stand the adult activists. I am overwhelmed and worried.

When I offered to donate some of my handmade jewelry, I had no idea what type of people would be attending. My jewelry is cute, creative, and most Autistic people love it. But, it is simple and I am no great artisan. It is not dripping with precious stones or gold or even silver. It is made from polymer clay and copper wire for christs sake! So, this is problem number one.

Problem number 2. What would I possibly wear. In my wardrobe, my fanciest clothes were bought at Target. I have very little money so I cannot buy fancy clothes. Also, being Autistic, finding the right clothing at a thrift shop will not work for me. Why? Because like most Autistic people, I am TOTALLY clueless as how to dress. I basically have a few "uniforms" that I wear, but mostly sweats and t-shirts. I don't know how often I wear my clothes inside out, my shirts buttoned wrong, and my shoes not quite matching. And the hair? Well, think Albert Einstein.

I have one red satin dress that I might be able to wear from formal night on cruise ships. [ the other ones were pre cancer. I have gained such weight from the meds. I cannot wear my high heels because the meds also gave me osteoporosis]

I cannot have a friend help me figure out an outfit because they are also Autistic and even more clueless than I am! I would pop on one of my wigs from when my hair fell out, but I threw them all out when we moved. Also, I am the one always telling other people not to pretend to present other than autistic. And normally, it would not bother me, but since I am attempting to build a bridge [ and maybe get some donors for AutHaven or our GRASP group] I need to somewhat fit in.

Can someone please give me advice?
 
Old 10-14-2015, 12:07 PM
 
Location: middle tennessee
1,959 posts, read 1,029,782 times
Reputation: 7272
"I need to somewhat fit in."

Does the person who extended the invitation know you well enough to accept you however you turn up? Don't concern yourself with anyone else.

Dress down rather than up. Two dark colored matching pieces, even if its a sweat suit as long as its new, and some of your jewelry. Neat flat shoes. No heels. No wig. Clean with no perfume/scent.

Practice. You are representing. I think you can do this and I think you should.

I hope your table is filled with delightful people and that you have a good time.
 
Old 10-14-2015, 02:10 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
5,102 posts, read 3,578,192 times
Reputation: 10943
Or wear your red dress with black flats. If you don't have the flats you might be able to find them in a thrift store. Otherwise, if you have dark pants & a nice enough blouse, that would work. For the hair, you can use a homemade deep Conditioner. Google it. I remember doing a mayonnaise one but can't remember what all I put in it. I'm actually going to look it up for myself because my hair is so dry. Thanks for making me think.
 
Old 10-14-2015, 02:57 PM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 8,427,479 times
Reputation: 7530
Autism Advocates Pueblo CO - autism, Pueblo CO aspergers, Pueblo CO Ari Ne'eman, Pueblo CO autism politics, Pueblo CO autism rights, Pueblo CO autism advocacy, Pueblo CO autism speaks, Pueblo CO autism help, Pueblo CO autism support

Perhaps there is someone there who can help coach you. JM2c.
 
Old 10-14-2015, 05:03 PM
 
655 posts, read 420,336 times
Reputation: 3754
Thank you for your suggestions. They gave me the confidence boost I needed to make a decision. I AM going to wear the red dress. I am also going to wear a pair of black leather pumps with teeny-tiny heels that I purchased a couple of years ago when I testified in court for a friend [ I had researched what is appropriate to wear in court] My stepsons cousin has agreed to do my hair and eyebrows the day of the gala. She will also remind me to shave my legs if I forget. I will wear one of my Autistic Pride necklaces [NO puzzle piece. Never! ] in black, sparkle silver and red with Swarovski crystals for the eyes of the owl and the feathers. The Autistic pride symbol will be on the chest of the owl. I will not put any of my jewelry up for auction, but IF someone expresses interest, I will have an assortment of necklaces in my car, and any proceeds will go to the Autism Society.

As an Autistic person, I will also observe Autistic gathering etiquette[ even though it is not actually an Autistic gathering] and wear a color coded interaction badge which is baking in the oven right now. They are usually plain but mine is studded with flat Swarovski crystals. I found out a few of my friends will be there, and I will make them badges as well. Possibly other attendees will inquire and that will give me the opportunity to share the reasons behind the badges and how they make life easier for us. I will also wear a "YES-NO" bracelet a friend made for me in case I "lose my words."

I hopefully will not need them, but I will slip a pair of collapsible sound-proof headphones and dark sunglasses into my bag and not be embarrassed to wear them if needed.

I am starting to look forward to this event. I wish you all could come as well.
 
Old 10-14-2015, 05:21 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,766 posts, read 9,841,864 times
Reputation: 11350
Quote:
Originally Posted by CCc girl View Post
Last time I got a ticket I decided to fight it. If I had just paid the fine it would have been 75 bucks. Fighting it and losing cost 150. JM2c.
I've only ever had one ticket and it cost me $185...at Christmas and no job! lol I couldn't deny the ticket either since it was one of those camera things and, yep, that was me alright! It's been a few years now so don't remember my speed...50 something in a 45, I think. I was gawking at all the new businesses built in the area since I'd been there last and not paying attention. Need I say that I ALWAYS pay attention when I drive through there anymore!
 
Old 10-14-2015, 05:24 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,766 posts, read 9,841,864 times
Reputation: 11350
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
Who among us hasn't had a number of, "If only I had..." moments during our lifetimes? I think it's part of the human condition. Being fallible can decidedly be a pain in the patooty. The best we can hope for is to learn from our mistakes and try our best not to repeat them. Sometimes it actually works!
I rarely ever repeat a 'mistake', having learned a lesson, but it never ceases to amaze me how many mistakes I can make just ONCE!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top