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Old 10-23-2016, 07:32 PM
 
238 posts, read 197,426 times
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Jean-ji, your message is a tribute to your parents. It is telling that at this time of sorrow you remember your Dad patiently putting endless worms on your hooks. That is such a wonderful, warm memory. My condolences.
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Old 10-24-2016, 11:01 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,017 posts, read 17,930,870 times
Reputation: 32336
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
This may sound strange but along with condolences I also have to say that you and jean_ji are really lucky to have parents who lived to such venerable ages. My mother and father died at ages 67 ands 71, respectively, just 15 months apart. I was just 44 and 45 when they did. I considered them too young and me too young to have lost them. So many unanswered questions about my young years, family members, father's military career and wars he fought, places we lived, mother's recipes, etc. and no one to ask.

An excellent point, Curmudgeon. Other things being equal, the younger our parents die, the more difficult it is to cope with. My mother and father died at ages 90 and 85, respectively. At that point, in both cases, there were health issues which made it impossible for one to wish them continued life, as that would have been a cruel wish. Therefore, their deaths before losing their marbles or being completely bedridden were actually a "good" thing. That doesn't mean I "rejoiced" or that I didn't feel some sadness, but it was simply not very difficult to cope with, being in the normal order of things.
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Old 10-25-2016, 04:45 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
5,101 posts, read 3,575,326 times
Reputation: 10937
Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
An excellent point, Curmudgeon. Other things being equal, the younger our parents die, the more difficult it is to cope with. My mother and father died at ages 90 and 85, respectively. At that point, in both cases, there were health issues which made it impossible for one to wish them continued life, as that would have been a cruel wish. Therefore, their deaths before losing their marbles or being completely bedridden were actually a "good" thing. That doesn't mean I "rejoiced" or that I didn't feel some sadness, but it was simply not very difficult to cope with, being in the normal order of things.
My mother died at 86 after suffering from dementia. It was sad but also a relief as she had some moments of clarity and was so sad.

My father died at 56, of alcohol related issues. I was 16. Even knowing he had problems with alcohol, I was still angry that, as the youngest girl, he was not there at my wedding or to see my son after his birth.

I always envied those who had a 'regular' father.
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Old 10-25-2016, 08:59 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,017 posts, read 17,930,870 times
Reputation: 32336
Quote:
Originally Posted by meo92953 View Post
.................

I always envied those who had a 'regular' father.

Very understandable. There are so many "irregular" parents and they are "irregular" in so many ways, both noticeable to outsiders and not. I am reminded of the cartoon picturing a large auditorium which is mostly empty; there are two or three people seated in the front row and maybe two or three more at a table up on the stage. There is a large banner across the front of the stage which reads: "Annual convention of the Association of Adult Children of Normal Parents.
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Old 10-25-2016, 10:10 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,763,332 times
Reputation: 29100
Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
Very understandable. There are so many "irregular" parents and they are "irregular" in so many ways, both noticeable to outsiders and not. I am reminded of the cartoon picturing a large auditorium which is mostly empty; there are two or three people seated in the front row and maybe two or three more at a table up on the stage. There is a large banner across the front of the stage which reads: "Annual convention of the Association of Adult Children of Normal Parents.
Story of my life!
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Old 10-26-2016, 09:02 AM
 
Location: Western Colorado
11,198 posts, read 12,673,229 times
Reputation: 26572
Let's see $10,000 a week for life or $10 million all at once. I AM 65...decisions decisions.
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Old 10-28-2016, 11:26 AM
 
Location: Idaho
4,718 posts, read 4,614,471 times
Reputation: 9354
Quote:
Originally Posted by jim9251 View Post
Let's see $10,000 a week for life or $10 million all at once. I AM 65...decisions decisions.
Depends on your health. Disregarding tax implications, if it were me, I'd take the 10k per week.


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Old 10-28-2016, 09:53 PM
 
Location: Cochise County, AZ
1,349 posts, read 865,998 times
Reputation: 2940
Dang nab it. Cubbies served up another nail biting finish as they are so wont to do I was praying during that 9th inning!
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Old 10-31-2016, 12:51 PM
 
Location: Western Colorado
11,198 posts, read 12,673,229 times
Reputation: 26572
I was pondering...


It's just a jump to the left, and then a step to the right...
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Old 10-31-2016, 05:44 PM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,516 posts, read 1,740,383 times
Reputation: 9031
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xenah View Post
Jean-ji, your message is a tribute to your parents. It is telling that at this time of sorrow you remember your Dad patiently putting endless worms on your hooks. That is such a wonderful, warm memory. My condolences.
Thank you and everyone else for your kind thoughts.

We spent last week with my Mom, brother and sister. Our Dad had pre-paid their funerals, so rather than spending the time arranging a funeral, we could focus on taking care of our Mom who has mild dementia. Small towns are wonderful. I called a lawyer and we got in the next morning to set up durable POA's and healthcare proxies; they had us wait while they prepared them, had us sign them and we left with notarized copies. With those and death dertificates in hand, we could take care of so many other things. Dad was a very organized man with everything easily found in a file cabinet or in his safe.

It could have been so much harder, but his main focus these past few years has been on taking care of Mom and making sure she would continue to be taken care if he died first.

His funeral was a small graveside ceremony on a crisp, beautiful October day. He left the way he lived: simple and straightforward.

Last edited by jean_ji; 10-31-2016 at 06:11 PM..
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