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Therefore we do not lose heart.
Though outwardly we are wasting away,
yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
For our light and momentary troubles
are achieving for us an eternal glory
that far outweighs them all.
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but on what is unseen.
For what is seen is temporary,
but what is unseen is eternal.
-2 Corinthians 4:16-18
THank you CC . . . btw - one of my very favorite scriptural references . . . and helpful today.
Ani The best thing I can tell you right now, is don't get frightened or discouraged by statistics. From other posts, I have the idea you put much credence in them but remember, they generally are stated so as to promote the worst side.
Even a 30% mortality rate sounds dreadful but it means that 70% do well.
Somebody has to be in that majority.
When my husband began his medical journey, the official terminology for one condition included the words "end stage".
While accurate, it's also scary and very deceptive (and since , is generally no longer used)
Every statistic used 5 year windows....that was 8 years ago.
This recent addition of CHF presented an additional set of symptoms to deal with and I doubt many would have put $1 down on his odds this past week...pacemaker/defibrillator insertion while in for double pneumonia....but here he is, hoping to summon up enough strength to play at least one game of shuffleboard during the tournament this weekend.
Keep your chin up and only look at the best side of those stats((((Ani))))))
Excellent post. I think we have to be told the worst in order to be able to prepare for it. The human machine is amazing. One never knows how it could adjust itself to a diagnosis. I have seen a number of friends and relatives come through very difficult health crises.
Excellent post. I think we have to be told the worst in order to be able to prepare for it. The human machine is amazing. One never knows how it could adjust itself to a diagnosis. I have seen a number of friends and relatives come through very difficult health crises.
Ani, our thoughts are with you.
Thank you, NEG!
Yes, there is a lot to be said for the human spirit. Just wish my hubby's heart muscle were not so damaged. We had thought years ago that maybe there would be some breakthrough with stem cell research but sadly, nothing much on the horizon as far as stem cells and heart muscle repair.
I still believe someday there will be a breakthrough.
For now, we are going to concentrate on a relaxing Christmas. We are so happy that our sweet furkid is improving . . . that felt like a miracle. The "kids" are coming to see us this weekend - a nice dinner out, some Christmas shopping. Who knows - maybe we will even add another string or two of lights outside.
ani, I just read your scary news and I want to say that my heart goes out to you. I hope that even if it's just a small ray of hope that the surgery will work. You never know. It's kind of good to be numb for now and just do what you have to do. We're all here for you.
Coincidence! We just had the doctor write a prescription for a 'hospital' bed.
Figuring out how to fit it into the bedroom without giving up the existing furniture and asking myself "Why? Will you really need a king size bed again?" (Told you I argue with myself a lot)
I envy that you can share one, jasper but I'm a side/stomach sleeper and don't think my back would like that kind of a kink
For some years, a wedge pillow under his pillow has been enough but he has resorted to the ubiquitous substitute for lots of people...the recliner... for too long now, which is especially unsuitable with the CHF.
Talk about decorating nightmares!
ani, I just read your scary news and I want to say that my heart goes out to you. I hope that even if it's just a small ray of hope that the surgery will work. You never know. It's kind of good to be numb for now and just do what you have to do. We're all here for you.
Thank you, in_newengland . . . I do feel the support here. I did not call a friend; did not write a friend on FB . . . did not send an email to anyone . . . did not call family members (other than my son, but he was with hubby).
Just not ready to talk to folks. For one thing, no one really understands the extent of hubby's health issues. Even his family. And it isn't as though his diagnoses are easy to explain. When he had his last "episode" -- people meant well but they all said things like "oh, they can do so much now . . . it will be fine" etc. They didn't seem to get that there is no fix for dead heart muscle. No balloon stent can fix that. No meds can make his heart work again.
So we decided to simply tell folks he was doing fine and nothing more.
There was no one I wanted to call and talk to because the last thing I wanted was to hear folks minimizing things, reassuring me things are going to be fine, and the docs will fix it. Things are not fine and the attempt to "fix" is highly risky and even then - not a "fix" - rather, a last ditch sort of effort to give him the possibility of some mobility for a longer period. The decision to go ahead with the operation is as much bravery on the physician's part as on my husband's. No physician wants a mortality and all the other cardiologists have refused to move ahead with this procedure. We don't know what the tests will show in the coming weeks . . . it could be this physician will say he can't in good conscience proceed, either - too risky.
I feel like I am looking through a window at the action taking place on the other side.
It's just out of my hands.
I don't want to lose my best friend but I have been living with that thought for a long time now.
And there is the selfish side of things, of course. "What will become of me?" He is my rock. He is one of the few human beings on the planet that understand me. He knows my history and validates who I am. Who will I be when he is gone?
It is much more comforting to have folks say . . . Chin up. Stay strong. Don't think about the statistics. One day at a time. Don't panic. Nothing is certain -- don't over analyze.
Have Hope and trust that you can face whatever is down the road.
And that is what you all say . . . and you are so kind to share your own experiences. Yes, folks DO "beat the odds."
You all remind me to focus on getting on with life, rather than getting stuck on the "what ifs."
My son's fiancee (I sometimes call her my DIL - they have been together 10 years now!!!! People assume they are married and I love her dearly, as my daughter) . . . she texted me yesterday and said - Just remember: He is a bumblebee. They told him he should not be able to walk with an ejection factor under 20. Yet, he walks. He's a bumblebee.
LOL. And yes, he is. The engineering of the bumblebee is all wrong. They should not be able to fly. Yet, they do.
There was no one I wanted to call and talk to because the last thing I wanted was to hear folks minimizing things, reassuring me things are going to be fine, and the docs will fix it. Things are not fine and the attempt to "fix" is highly risky and even then - not a "fix" - rather, a last ditch sort of effort to give him the possibility of some mobility for a longer period. The decision to go ahead with the operation is as much bravery on the physician's part as on my husband's. No physician wants a mortality and all the other cardiologists have refused to move ahead with this procedure. We don't know what the tests will show in the coming weeks . . . it could be this physician will say he can't in good conscience proceed, either - too risky.
I feel like I am looking through a window at the action taking place on the other side.
It's just out of my hands.
Everything is always really out of our hands. We think we're in control when things are going well, but really not, because life can turn on a dime. And it does, every day, for millions of us. You have so many questions and concerns it can get to be overwhelming. What helped me in the face of crisis was (is) yoga and sitting still doing nothing but emptying my thoughts in a warm room. Getting a massage, and giving one to the loved one, even a gentle foot massage. Slowing down and taking time for everything, never rushing even when you have to go to appts, etc. Everything in slow motion, putting one foot in front of the other. You will both get to the other side of this choppy river.
"Just not ready to talk to folks. For one thing, no one really understands the extent of hubby's health issues. Even his family. And it isn't as though his diagnoses are easy to explain. When he had his last "episode" -- people meant well but they all said things like "oh, they can do so much now . . . it will be fine" etc. They didn't seem to get that there is no fix for dead heart muscle. No balloon stent can fix that. No meds can make his heart work again.
So we decided to simply tell folks he was doing fine and nothing more.
There was no one I wanted to call and talk to because the last thing I wanted was to hear folks minimizing things, reassuring me things are going to be fine, and the docs will fix it. "
Ani, this is exactly what we went through when Dad passed. People try to say appropriate things.
The thing I figured out early on is that the folks who say 'You should' or 'You have to' are not helpful and should be avoided.
Thw ones that say 'Can I', 'Would you like' 'How can I' are folks that truly mean well and can be counted on.
When the response is somewhat condescending hit the off button. This is not what you need right now.
And one of the best things I learned was from watching Duck Dynasty.
"Thank you Father for another day on planet Earth." -Phil Robertson
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