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It is hard for srs to let go of items sometimes, but it helps maybe if they realize (unless something's an antique, etc) what good is it? in the long run. Storage places make a mint off people storing junk too.
After leaving a huge house, the best feeling was letting go of "stuff" and seeing a garage that had been filled be totally clear and free of clutter. Stuff cannot fill a psychological void. It's sad this seems so prevalent in America, these days.
That article reminds me of various elderly friends. One couple in particular really wanted to move to an all on one level house, even went as far as having a realtor come and look at theirs with plans to put it on the market in a month or two. They started cleaning out and just didn't have the energy to do the work involved. I think it was too hard physically and also too hard mentally, Not so much not wanting to part with something but more like what to do with each thing was just too much They took the house off the market, she died about 3 months later and he died a year after her. I think there is a time frame where you can do it(perhaps your 50's, 60's and early 70's) and if you haven't done it by then it is probably too much to expect the older person to do.
Perhaps too, in those earlier years it is downsizing to something(travel, time to pursue a hobby etc) But the older individual it is more "the end" rather than a beginning.
That article reminds me of various elderly friends. One couple in particular really wanted to move to an all on one level house, even went as far as having a realtor come and look at theirs with plans to put it on the market in a month or two. They started cleaning out and just didn't have the energy to do the work involved. I think it was too hard physically and also too hard mentally, Not so much not wanting to part with something but more like what to do with each thing was just too much They took the house off the market, she died about 3 months later and he died a year after her. I think there is a time frame where you can do it(perhaps your 50's, 60's and early 70's) and if you haven't done it by then it is probably too much to expect the older person to do.
Perhaps too, in those earlier years it is downsizing to something(travel, time to pursue a hobby etc) But the older individual it is more "the end" rather than a beginning.
That's profound, that it would mean something different at different ages. Downsizing so that you can move to your cute little dream retirement home wouldn't be as bad as downsizing just to downsize. I was lucky that I was so unlucky--Ex moved out and I was too young (55) to downsize but I had no choice. I just put an ad in the paper, opened the garage door and that was about it. There were painful decisions to be made but from what you just said, it's better that I did it back then.
That article reminds me of various elderly friends. One couple in particular really wanted to move to an all on one level house, even went as far as having a realtor come and look at theirs with plans to put it on the market in a month or two. They started cleaning out and just didn't have the energy to do the work involved. I think it was too hard physically and also too hard mentally, Not so much not wanting to part with something but more like what to do with each thing was just too much They took the house off the market, she died about 3 months later and he died a year after her. I think there is a time frame where you can do it(perhaps your 50's, 60's and early 70's) and if you haven't done it by then it is probably too much to expect the older person to do.
Perhaps too, in those earlier years it is downsizing to something(travel, time to pursue a hobby etc) But the older individual it is more "the end" rather than a beginning.
Amen. My mother who died at 92 could have, when she was 55 or so, found the energy to clean out my childhood home where she lived for 60 years. She was even gung-ho about it at one point but then quickly got overwhelmed and let it all slide, month after month, year after year, decade after decade, till there was no energy to even think of it let alone actually deal with it all. This resulted in her staying in that completely inappropriate, too-big house on her own for way too many years. By the time we moved her to the little house she was 90 and guess who had to do all the backbreaking work and secretive throw-aways—my sister and me, and we were late 50s. This turned my medical condition into a near crisis and I believe my sister's, too. Our mother could have had a wonderful beginning in a new place at 60. Very sad, for us.
We'll be downsizing and must get rid of a LOT of our things. At one time getting rid of my dining room table, china cabinet, good china and things from our parents would have bothered me....but not now. I guess as I've gotten older I care less about things. My grandmother always said things didn't matter, she said it's all just dust collectors, now I really get what she meant. My mother in law said something very similar to me once when she was giving me things she wanted us to have. My husband can't retire till we sell our current home and we will be buying something much smaller. To me having him retired and enjoying our old age together is what is important and more precious.
well, I'm the OP who hasn't been back to this thread in ages. Not that I didn't value peoples opinions, I think it was more that my post was so depressing to me and wasn't something I was ready to deal with.
Back then I really was heartsick over getting rid of certain things, but then something clicked and I threw away a few of the items that belonged to my late mom. I actually felt free doing that and it felt like there was a huge burden lifted off my shoulders. After that, there was no stopping me... I got rid of a bunch of stuff, but I still have the dining room set. I just got rid of the dust collecting china cabinet part of it and all the never used wine glasses and useless crap that was in there
. I recently refinished all the dining and living room tables and stuff so it looks brand new. We still have the house and once the tenants moved out we opened up the wall and we use the whole house now. We pretty much live down here, but sleep upstairs. My husband put off his retirement for 2 years so we'll stay til then and then we'll put it on the market and look for a smaller place. I'm so ready to go...
That article reminds me of various elderly friends. One couple in particular really wanted to move to an all on one level house, even went as far as having a realtor come and look at theirs with plans to put it on the market in a month or two. They started cleaning out and just didn't have the energy to do the work involved. I think it was too hard physically and also too hard mentally, Not so much not wanting to part with something but more like what to do with each thing was just too much They took the house off the market, she died about 3 months later and he died a year after her. I think there is a time frame where you can do it(perhaps your 50's, 60's and early 70's) and if you haven't done it by then it is probably too much to expect the older person to do.
Perhaps too, in those earlier years it is downsizing to something(travel, time to pursue a hobby etc) But the older individual it is more "the end" rather than a beginning.
You are so right!! We are in our very early 70's and this downsizing is still incredibly hard. We are going from a 5,000 sq. ft. home to a 1350 sq. ft. apartment. It's going to be traumatic. But lately I've realized that I don't care as much about all our furniture as I once did. So we are going to sell a bunch of it and put some things in storage until we find a small, one-story house. We are going to keep the dining room set, though, as our apartment has a nice sun room where we can place it. The china cabinet contains so many things that were my mother's and mother-in-law's. We are not ready to let go of the two of them yet!
We sold our house after only one day on the market, so all this is happening incredibly fast...
re: giving up possessions....that you never thought you could:
I recently confronted a sizeable bag of empty photo frames of all sizes, each with glass. My first thought was these are so nice, and now I have grandkids, I've got to keep these. But then I thought back to when my MIL move to the opposite coast and left us with heavy, heavy boxes of photo albums and framed photos (heavy frames, with glass) of family, including her son's HIGH SCHOOL photos. We kept them in our attic for years and then I took all the photos out and gave away the frames. We got rid of most of the albums (who cares these days?) and kept a few of the better photos in paper folders. Remembering those boxes of frames and knowing how none of the kids are going to want framed anything, I sent the bag to Goodwill. I still have mixed feelings, but rationality says to get rid of heavy stuff (heavy furniture too) in case of a move, or not. I can now visualize family members having to unhappily deal with it all.
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Downsizing in Early 70's
It's going to be traumatic. But lately I've realized that I don't care as much about all our furniture as I once did. So we are going to sell a bunch of it and put some things in storage until we find a small, one-story house. We are going to keep the dining room set, though, as our apartment has a nice sun room where we can place it. The china cabinet contains so many things that were my mother's and mother-in-law's. We are not ready to let go of the two of them yet!
