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Old 09-16-2011, 07:22 AM
 
Location: delaware
688 posts, read 864,422 times
Reputation: 2367

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i have a lot of social contacts- book discussion groups, monthly lunch group, writing critique group, and friends/neighbors i go to lunch or dinner with maybe once or twice a month. i also teach two courses for adults once a week and have made contacts/acquaintances though that program.
however, i think that i judge the level of satisfaction with my "social life" on the depth of these realationships and contacts, rather than the variety or number of contacts. i am externally a fairly social person, partly because i feel some social interation is healthy and, for many years, i have not had family as insulation/cushioning. i have had to be "socially agile " and depend on friends, and , in some cases, they have substituted for family. but personaly,regardless of age, i have often found it difficult to find depth, resonance in friendships, and i feel many people are really satisfied with a more superficial kind of connection. i do feel in the middle years many are busy with family, work, and meaningful friendships are a luxury, as time is limited. perhaps in the retirement years that changes. i find it interesting that in recent years i have re-connected with two people i knew in high school fifty years ago, and both of those connections have been meaningful and rich beyond what i would have ever imagined. neither is a person who was a close friend in school but, at this point in our lives, we are open to sharing and being vulnerable with each other about where we find ourselves in life. even though i have friendships of forty years, these two people from my past, whom i hadn't seen for fifty years, have provided me with meaning and insight that i have often found lacking in some other relationships. i think it is important to allow room for life to surprise you, and to be open to all possibilities for connection; you truly don't know what you may gain from it.
catsy girl
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Old 09-16-2011, 07:45 AM
 
7,339 posts, read 16,641,998 times
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We had much more social stuff in our lives when we met than we do now. We left the social stuff and friends when we moved out of the state we married in. Since moving, we have met some couples in our age bracket, but they didn't have the interests that we do.....power boating, fishing, target shooting and NFL football with some snacks and a few brews. The people we met acted more like they were in their late 70's than early 60's! If we lived in a 55+ community where a number of activities are held, we'd have friends.....I guess. We are "social butterfly's" when it comes to get-togethers at our apt complex clubhouse, but even a lot of those folks act like there dead compared to us! I have a very humorous, sometimes sarcastic, side to me that doesn't appeal to everyone, that's for sure!
We have a 57 yr old lady that lives next to us that loves her solitude/quiet lifestyle........social life, doesn't like it! She's been married before, lived with a dude, but now has zero interest in meeting a man. When I was her age, and single, on the weekends I was going to Country/Western nightclubs and in a rodeo arena. I was a light drinker, but loved to 2-step, etc. My wife was into the same kind of dancing when I met her. Her niece said to her "he's a keeper" when she seen me 2-step with her Aunt!
Will we ever meet people within our age that like the things we like and DON'T smoke.......can only HOPE and keep reading applications (thought that was a cute add-on to the sentence.........said I had a humorous side)!
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Old 09-16-2011, 04:18 PM
 
Location: Lexington, SC
4,281 posts, read 10,735,918 times
Reputation: 3716
Over the years we moved several times and most of the friends we made came about from playing golf and as a result of business. Bottom line of both is social interaction and shared mutual interests. Thus my advice is simple. Increase your social interaction with mutual interest people.

Me being an athesist would eliminate a prayer service...but...LOL
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Old 09-20-2011, 08:01 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,170 posts, read 8,693,102 times
Reputation: 6167
Smile But I've heard...

Quote:
Originally Posted by accufitgolf View Post
Over the years we moved several times and most of the friends we made came about from playing golf and as a result of business. Bottom line of both is social interaction and shared mutual interests. Thus my advice is simple. Increase your social interaction with mutual interest people.

Me being an athesist would eliminate a prayer service...but...LOL
There's so much prayer on the golf course!! (We just stayed at a resort and my children played golf - both good at the game - overlooking the Pacific - and yes, I would love to take it up again (played as a kid).
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Old 09-20-2011, 08:09 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,170 posts, read 8,693,102 times
Reputation: 6167
Smile Agreed!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by catsy girl View Post
i have a lot of social contacts- book discussion groups, monthly lunch group, writing critique group, and friends/neighbors i go to lunch or dinner with maybe once or twice a month. i also teach two courses for adults once a week and have made contacts/acquaintances though that program.
however, i think that i judge the level of satisfaction with my "social life" on the depth of these realationships and contacts, rather than the variety or number of contacts. i am externally a fairly social person, partly because i feel some social interation is healthy and, for many years, i have not had family as insulation/cushioning. i have had to be "socially agile " and depend on friends, and , in some cases, they have substituted for family. but personaly,regardless of age, i have often found it difficult to find depth, resonance in friendships, and i feel many people are really satisfied with a more superficial kind of connection. i do feel in the middle years many are busy with family, work, and meaningful friendships are a luxury, as time is limited. perhaps in the retirement years that changes. i find it interesting that in recent years i have re-connected with two people i knew in high school fifty years ago, and both of those connections have been meaningful and rich beyond what i would have ever imagined. neither is a person who was a close friend in school but, at this point in our lives, we are open to sharing and being vulnerable with each other about where we find ourselves in life. even though i have friendships of forty years, these two people from my past, whom i hadn't seen for fifty years, have provided me with meaning and insight that i have often found lacking in some other relationships. i think it is important to allow room for life to surprise you, and to be open to all possibilities for connection; you truly don't know what you may gain from it.
catsy girl
I agree with everything you have said. Interestingly enough, I was at a bible study tonight and I shared some personal information that I was struggling with - as a result, others opened up and really shared - and their stories were much more amazing and commanded more of a struggle than mine. I do know what you mean though. I really do. I'm glad you connected with those long ago friends.
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Old 09-20-2011, 09:03 PM
 
526 posts, read 741,528 times
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did any widow/widowers find that not only lost their spouse but most of their friends/social life?
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Old 09-21-2011, 08:22 AM
 
7,339 posts, read 16,641,998 times
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Even though I've had rotator cuff surgery on my right shoulder, I'd like to try some bowling again (perhaps a league), but don't know how many late 50's thru 60's people do that. Wife's not good at bowling (admitting that herself), but after she's had a couple of beers, she's a "social butterfly" for sure.
We can't go back into squaredancing because it isn't nearly as popular here in northeast FL than it was in So Calif. We both were real social when we done that 11 yrs ago. Don't think my hip replacement could handle that either.
We love to meet some folks, in our age bracket, that boat, but almost all of them have a much bigger boat (cabin cruiser types) than we do and the yearly membership fee can be pretty high.
May also try Bible Study again at our local church.
Gotta try/do something!
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Old 09-21-2011, 09:41 AM
 
Location: Bar Harbor, ME
1,922 posts, read 3,779,224 times
Reputation: 1292
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
Even though I've had rotator cuff surgery on my right shoulder, I'd like to try some bowling again (perhaps a league), but don't know how many late 50's thru 60's people do that. Wife's not good at bowling (admitting that herself), but after she's had a couple of beers, she's a "social butterfly" for sure.
We can't go back into squaredancing because it isn't nearly as popular here in northeast FL than it was in So Calif. We both were real social when we done that 11 yrs ago. Don't think my hip replacement could handle that either.
We love to meet some folks, in our age bracket, that boat, but almost all of them have a much bigger boat (cabin cruiser types) than we do and the yearly membership fee can be pretty high.
May also try Bible Study again at our local church.
Gotta try/do something!
Check to see if there is a Senior College nearby. They do lots of stuff and Seniors are there do do new things. And its not bingo and basket weaving at the senior center.
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Old 09-21-2011, 10:00 AM
 
Location: Prospect, KY
5,288 posts, read 17,957,332 times
Reputation: 6544
We moved across the U.S. for retirement 3 years ago. I immediately joined the women's club at the University of Louisville - they have different groups that you can attend - a cooking class (in a beautiful privately owned historic mansion - cooking class and lunch served in an elegant setting and printed recipes: $15).

Other groups are: Antiques (antiquing and lunch once a moth), Book Discussion, Bridge, Day at the Races (Derby and other races), Conversational coffee/needlework, Conversational and coffee, wildflower walk (tours of local gardens and farms), movie and coffe, musicals, derby party. It costs $20 a year to be a member and most of the groups are free.

We are active in our church and we immediately joined an empty nesters group that meets once a month for interesting lessons, lectures, games, travel discussions, refreshments, etc.

We hold dinner parties several times a year and usually have 24 to 30 people attend. Sometimes I cook all the food, sometimes it is potluck - usually a theme like Italian, or St. Patrick's Day, Summer barbecue, etc.

I have a group of friends that go out to lunch once a month, another group that meets at someone's houe once a month for dinner, several friends that I go antiquing and to cultural events with, etc.

You really do have to initially reach out and be proactive in making friends .....we have a very rewarding and active social life but we have really worked at it.
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Old 09-21-2011, 02:00 PM
 
7,339 posts, read 16,641,998 times
Reputation: 4567
Senior College? We do have Senior Centers, but they close before my wife gets home from work and aren't open on weekends. Besides that, aren't the Seniors that go to these Center's much older than early 60's? The Senior Bible Study at church is good, but they don't have boats, only motorhomes and besides that.......the don't like any kind of drinking. Wife and I enjoy enjoy a couple of "cold ones", glass of wine or margarita once in a while. When we are on our boat, our cooler always has a 6-pack in it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zarathu View Post
Check to see if there is a Senior College nearby. They do lots of stuff and Seniors are there do do new things. And its not bingo and basket weaving at the senior center.
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