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Old 09-12-2011, 08:43 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,194 posts, read 8,718,429 times
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Is it natural as you get older to want to do more with others or is it the opposite?

I come from a very social family, all my sibs have tons and tons of friends and all that. Since I have limited vision and had to work a lot, I've been a little left out on the friends end of it.

I have acquaintenances and I know a lot of people but how to get to know better? Do people want this as they get older?

Is this why 55 plus communities are popular for some?

I know some people just like solitude but I don't think I'm one of them. So, am I weird?
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Old 09-12-2011, 08:59 PM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
6,956 posts, read 7,411,410 times
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I totally agree with you. I went from tons of friends - then as everyone's careers/family etc... heated up many of us have lost touch. I worked a lot and had a stressful job so I rather enjoyed some solitude when I got home but now - I'm retired and need to get back in the game. You are not weird OR maybe we both are weird.
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Old 09-12-2011, 09:12 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,194 posts, read 8,718,429 times
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Smile Last night....09/11/11

My husband and I went to a prayer service which was very nice. I was listening to him and he was a little blabbermouth!! I kind of got the idea he was feeling a little lonely himself - just had that feeling.

Well, I'm glad there's someone else who feels like I do - thanks! My husband is an only child so he was used to growing up alone but I was not. My parents' door was always open; there was always an extra door for that dinner "guest" - when my mom passed away last year, there was over 300 at her memorial service.

I still work a lot but I need to start morphing out of working 100 hours a week and maybe just work 70 or so (ha, ha) - long story.
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Old 09-12-2011, 09:39 PM
 
361 posts, read 622,833 times
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Just a comment...
I think also that your world/universe narrows a bit as you age.
People die, friends fall away.
Maybe it happens gradually, but the losses accumulate.
Used to talk to my mom a lot, we'd phone at least weekly.
Would talk to my ex-spouse often too.
They are gone, and I miss them.
I never had a ton of close friends, but those I have very much enrich my life.
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Old 09-14-2011, 12:25 PM
 
5,825 posts, read 13,345,244 times
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I have one really good friend I have known for 55 years. Currently we live 4.5 hours apart, but speak on the phone at least once a week. I have made quite a few friends since we moved. Mostly acquaintances, except for two neighbors, who we all help each other out. This past month we are building a deck on one of their houses.

No one will ever replace the friend I have had for 55 years. Our memories, good and bad, are entwined. I've never needed a lot of friends. My mom always said, "if you have one true friend in your lifetime, then you are a rich person." Guess I'm very rich.
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Old 09-14-2011, 12:43 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,910 posts, read 25,386,592 times
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I'm the exact opposite. Sometimes I just long for some quiet time to read a book or just do...nothing. I love my life and my friends but it can get hectic and demanding too.
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Old 09-14-2011, 01:36 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,552,600 times
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I love peace, quiet, solitude and tranquility. Thankfully, my wife is the same. It's not that we shun social interaction. It's out there for the taking and periodically we do avail ourselves of it. But in the main we live a simple, peaceful life; friendly with our neighbors but not overly involved with anyone but ourselves.

It works well for us. Others' mileage may vary!
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Old 09-16-2011, 01:10 AM
 
391 posts, read 665,652 times
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I only need to be near other people and I'm OK. If I go somewhere, coffee or Im on a jobsite or go to the gym or anywhere, I know everyone within a few days. Lots of jokes, fun, chatting. Love it... all I need.

But I love to sit alone and seldom hang real close with people so I can read the paper and have my own thoughts..love that too. Perfect balance for me. Maybe its because I grew up with 8 kids, parents pets and my grandmother in a 900 sq ft house.

But if I did not have that, I'd get depressed.
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Old 09-16-2011, 05:32 AM
 
10,438 posts, read 9,424,780 times
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Bette: you're not weird at all; you like being social and that's who you are; we're all unique.

I am on the side of preferring a few friends and not being social with a lot of people. I enjoy quiet times being by myself to read, watch a movie, be on the computer, or whatever it is I feel like doing. My age or being retired has no bearing at all - it is who I am.

There are no rules here: "What's right, is what's right for each of us".
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Old 09-16-2011, 06:52 AM
 
Location: Prospect, KY
5,288 posts, read 17,987,706 times
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I have the right mix of social right now....if there is too long of a lull, I simply throw a dinner party!
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