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Old 09-16-2011, 04:20 PM
 
7,339 posts, read 16,637,122 times
Reputation: 4567

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Did say it was "the end" for us, but after reading the last few comments, just couldn't resist......
Wife and I both LOL so hard after reading the "stalker" remark! Actually, my daughter would get a royal kick/laugh out of that as well!
As far as being "controlling"......not me. I don't have the laid-back, "whatever" type personality and there's nothing wrong with that!
One thing is for sure, and I was going to do a thread about it, a lot of you don't like curious/wondering people at all. To you, if a person is curious/wondering about the actions of someone, that is totally wrong. We, wife/I don't see anything wrong at all with being curious/wondering! Just stop into the Relationship forum and there is a whole lot of "curious/wondering" type people in there!
I'm REALLY tired now and want to go home!
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Old 09-16-2011, 05:07 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,969,510 times
Reputation: 15649
Curious is fine, what's strange is defensiveness and taking ready offense. Several "curious" folks don't seem to want to hear answers that challenge their thinking. We all need to let down our guard enough to be challenged enough to really solve the problems we suffer from.
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Old 09-16-2011, 05:59 PM
 
Location: Lexington, SC
4,281 posts, read 10,732,445 times
Reputation: 3716
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
Curious is fine, what's strange is defensiveness and taking ready offense. Several "curious" folks don't seem to want to hear answers that challenge their thinking. We all need to let down our guard enough to be challenged enough to really solve the problems we suffer from.
Well said.
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Old 09-16-2011, 07:01 PM
 
Location: Petticoat Junction
930 posts, read 1,639,766 times
Reputation: 1489
When "I'd like to hear your opinion" really means "I'd like to hear only opinions that validate my current position," I really don't know why people bother to ask the question.
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Old 09-16-2011, 08:33 PM
 
Location: Center City
6,850 posts, read 7,797,618 times
Reputation: 9469
There are two sides to every story. Since the OP won't offer any self-reflection on his role in all this, I wish the daughter would post. I'd love to hear her perspective.
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Old 09-16-2011, 08:55 PM
 
Location: Southern California
3,115 posts, read 7,244,860 times
Reputation: 3671
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolinaWoman View Post
If you divorced in the 1970's your daughter was a young child. Did you have visitation and spend time with her during those years? A few weeks in the summer or anything ... pay child support ... remember her birthdays, graduations?
I find it absolutely astounding that a father who didn't care enough about his toddler daughter to track her down, and stay in her life, is actually complaining about the fact that she curses and uses slang words?

LoveBoating, you're lucky that your daughter wants you in her life at all - who cares what the terms are? You're lucky! But it sounds like you don't appreciate it at all, and are in fact hell-bent on screwing it up. I wish you luck.
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Old 09-17-2011, 06:06 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
5,537 posts, read 9,937,499 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
I/we do appreciate all the comments we have gotten, even the "I have to be very honest/truthful" ones.
Some of you have said that I have no relationship with my daughter, that isn't true. What is true is that we don't have that much of a relationship. She has talked to me in the Chat area of Facebook and signed off saying "I love you......xoxo" and I said "we love you to xoxoxo!" She called me "dad" a few times last year in e-mails she sent to me, but doesn't call me "dad" anymore and I have accepted that. We still communicate on Facebook, so that is some kind of relationship! When I asked her to be my "friend" again a few months ago, she didn't have to "accept, but did. We can tell, she wants a relationship with us, but ONLY under her terms......which ultimately we have to accept or not have her and grandson in our lives at all. I made a comment about a pic on FB of her son fishing and said "I love a boy using a fishing rod/reel." She said, "I hope so, that's your grandson."
She loves boating b/c a former boyfriend had a small boat that they, including her son, use to go fishing on. She knows we have a 20' power boat and love it. I told her in FB "sometime you and ____ should come here and go out with us." She said, "perhaps you two could take a cruise here on it" and I told her "sorry, the boats not big enough to go that far." She said, "that's ok, I was only kidding. Some time we will drive down there".
So, folks, thru these statements, her and us DO have some kind of relationship going on! Also, back in 1999 and 2000, she sent me numerous pics of her growing up and pics of her wedding in 2000......I still have them.
This was her reaching out to you and you shot her down. Her reply was likely a defense to hide her hurt.
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Old 09-17-2011, 06:25 AM
 
7,339 posts, read 16,637,122 times
Reputation: 4567
We are still talking to each other on Facebook! So, what does that mean.......I'm not shutting her out and she isn't shutting me out! Anyway, so much for the comments that some folks are posting to this thread!
By the way, her hurt/anger isn't coming from me, it's coming from what's going on in her life at home.......she writes a lot about these things in Facebook!
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Old 09-17-2011, 06:37 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,471,910 times
Reputation: 29071
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
We are still talking to each other on Facebook! So, what does that mean.......I'm not shutting her out and she isn't shutting me out! Anyway, so much for the comments that some folks are posting to this thread!
By the way, her hurt/anger isn't coming from me, it's coming from what's going on in her life at home.......she writes a lot about these things in Facebook!
LB, methinks thou doth protest too much. Let it go. Nothing opined here makes the least bit of difference. It's your life, your relationship. You don't have to defend or justify it to anyone.
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Old 09-17-2011, 08:41 AM
 
7,339 posts, read 16,637,122 times
Reputation: 4567
You're absolutely RIGHT and we thank you for the comment!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
LB, methinks thou doth protest too much. Let it go. Nothing opined here makes the least bit of difference. It's your life, your relationship. You don't have to defend or justify it to anyone.
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